“I remember being told Thats a grownup decision and Give (random extended family member) a hug.
But our understanding of certain topics has changed in recent decades.
The ways we speak about food, body size and gender identity, for example, have evolved substantially.
HuffPost asked Millennials what they wish their parents had done differently.
Heres what they had to say:
1.
I decided to pursue further education and picked architecture in the hopes of becoming a furniture designer.
Today, I work in construction.
If I could go back and start over, Id study medicine.
Tommy
2.
Both experienced significant traumatic events and were just expected to deal with them on their own.
Karen
3.
Taught us financial literacy:I wish my parents talked to me and taught me about credit and investing.
I got married young, at 19, and struggled financially with my husband for years.
I finally started learning and teaching myself about credit and 401ks/IRAs at 30 and started fixing my credit.
Im 41 and hope to finally buy my first home with my husband next year.
I am a parent.
It wasnt until my 30s that I started properly educating myself on money management.
Katie
4.
It was a complete waste of time and money.
I went back to school in my late twenties when I was ready and Im currently an RN.
Ironically, it was an associate program and I actually use my degree happily.
I will never push my kids into college if they arent ready/dont want to.
There are plenty of other options!
Elizabeth
5.
Considered our perspective and been more mindful of discipline:I have kids, and I dont hit them.
I explain everything they want to know.
I tell them I love them.
I respect and encourage their passions.
I make them do chores and explain why they have to learn to do them.
None of those were done for me.
I was hit, ignored, and hardly ever heard I love you or Proud of you.
I was mocked for my love of books (they even donated my comics).
I had to do chores because they said so.
Michele
I wish my parents had been better about regulating their ownemotionsinstead of just being intensely reactive.
I dont hit or threaten my kids.
I have realistic expectations of their behavior since they are children who are still developing.
Angela
6.
Colleen
7.
Spent more time connecting with us:My parents didnt make family a priority.
We, their children, were not the priority.
Work, their romantic relationships and the families of their romantic partners almost always came before us.
Otherwise, well end up barely interacting in adulthood like I do with my own parents.
Jamie
I really wish my mom would have put her kids first.
Partners always came before us and I had a hard time finding any sense of self-esteem because of this.
I longed for more individual attention and a sense of importance within the family unit.
Chris
8.
Acknowledged our feelings:I wish my feelings would have been acknowledged instead of dismissed.
I constantly ask my own children now how they are feeling and if they want to talk about anything.
Catherine
I wish they told me I love you.
Needless to say, I tell my kids, I love you.
I explain myself and my decisions to my kids so they understand my actions.
And I apologize to my children when I was wrong or I acted unkind.
Rebecca
9.
Not expected us to act like little adults:Read a book on child development.
As a child, I was treated like a mini-adult.
The only acceptable feeling was happiness.
We didnt dare show anger, sadness, frustration or disappointment with our parents or our lives.
We were mocked for crying and hit all the time.
Sarah
I was the babysitter since I was the eldest daughter.
I never got the chance to act like a kid as I was forced to think beyond my age.
I think I missed being a kid and a teenager.
I was forced to dismiss my emotions.
Fauzia
10.
Explained things instead of saying Because I said so:Open communication is a big deal for me.
My parents were young and did not have great parental guidance growing up.
Sandra
11.
What I really needed was your love and support.
Alex
12.Acceptedour bodies: My parents were very loving and supportive in general.
The only thing I didnt feel supported in was my body.
Growing up in the early 2000s was a terrible time for body image.
This was devastating to hear from the people I loved and trusted.
Julia
13.
Respected our autonomy.Something my husband and I have made a priority is allowing our children their own autonomy.
I remember being told, Thats a grownup decision and Give (random extended family member) a hug.
Any other questions I might stumble upon, I would be given the answers to as they arose.
Needless to say, I was none of those things, and my parents never got over it.
They seem much happier already.
Laura
This article originally appeared onHuffPost.
