We received some incredibly emotional, upsetting, and truly brave responses.
yo note: These submissions don’t reflect a universal experience of religion.
Everyone’s story is different.
She was very religious.
My beliefs aligned with hers until I became a teenager and started asking more questions.
I learned that I was pansexual in my 20s and went through a faith deconstruction during the COVID-19 pandemic.
oddcookie788
2.
“I was raised in a very strict Catholic household.
I went to Catholic school and was very active in my parish.
It was the center of our world.
After college, I was married in the church.
My husband and I tried for years to start a family.
When we finally got pregnant, we lost our baby at 12 weeks.
It was beyond devastating.
We turned to the church for comfort and guidance in our grief.
Sadly, we were told that since our baby was not baptized, they would spend eternity in purgatory.
We were also told that our loss was ‘part of the Lord’s plan.’
Neither sentiment was comforting to either of us.”
“After physically recovering from the loss, we kept trying for our rainbow baby.
Our breaking point was the church not supporting IVF.
We walked away and were constantly guilted by our families.
As a result, we have cut most of our families out of our lives.
To end positively, we are currently expecting our rainbow baby!”
Anonymous
3.
“My preacher couldn’t help me when I was seeking guidance after being sexually assaulted.
I was blamed and turned away when I needed support.
amandah4c686ffc5
4.
“My biological mother ruined her marriage with my dad because she had an affair with a woman.
Unfortunately, it was a long time before I finally cut her off.
We went to church three times a week minimum, often more.
I still recall how shameful it felt to be looked at like our family had failed the church.
“I grew up in the ’80s amidst the backdrop of televangelism and conspiracy theories.
My mother was ‘saved’ when I was 8.
But within a year or two, I realized (precocious me!)
that religion was definitely not my jam.
Bear in mind: I was a good kid.
I’d never been in any trouble, got decent grades, and even worked a part-time job.
After I finally got out, she continued to make efforts to humiliate me.
She died alone and miserable, crying and whining.
And I celebrated with no regrets.”
She forced religion on us as she raised us, including the Ten Commandments.
She threatened to take my kids away (and she eventually followed through).
Even beyond that, they treated us like crap.
They will gladly do whatever to stamp out my existence for their own religious bigotry.”
I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?
They don’t invite me to holiday gatherings?
They don’t even do that now.
They’ve never invited me to Thanksgiving orEasteras an adult.
I’m unsure if it’s out of laziness or intentional.
But I’m done being treated like crap because I don’t fit into their religious ideology.”
“The fact that I had to accept what I was told without any questions bothered me.
Maybe everything they taught me was wrong.
I had questions, and I wanted my answers.
They still had none.
I finally gave up when they aligned with a politician I felt did not represent my values.
I felt Jesus supported my decision.”
Until that point, she had been a non-practicing Catholic.
I was informed of this decision because I was the oldest child.
I had just turned 8."
This happened for a few years, with me sleeping in bits and pieces.
I had to get up several times during the night to confirm my mom was still breathing.
No one seemed to notice that anything was wrong with me.
My mother worked full-time and was with my younger sisters during any free time.
I wasn’t allowed to participate in most school activities because they were considered sinful.
By the time I was 17, I was a full-blown alcoholic and drug user.
I quit going to church, and eventually, so did my mom, but the damage was done.
Both of my sisters became abusive alcoholics and drug addicts who took their trauma out on their children.
I have struggled mentally for years, off and on anti-depressants and constantly battling suicidal feelings.
I feel worthless and unlovable.
Despite all this, I tried to believe in God but finally gave up."
“It was abusive, neglectful, and controlling.
I was taught that people of color were a different species and white people were superior.
Bible stories were used to justify hate, supremacy, racism, misogyny, and even spousal rape.
It was bananas.”
“I was not allowed to socialize outside of school or church.
My parents were employed in the school system, so I never had a second of freedom.
I was bullied endlessly at school for being weird.
I regularly thought about suicide or harming others (bullies, mean teachers, coaches).
I won’t even get into how weird the church and my parents were about sex.
Getting pregnant meant I’d have to stay home, and they wanted that.
When I broke off the relationship, they blamed me.
My mother sabotaged my college FASFA and made sure I didn’t get into the college of my dreams.
I managed to escape, and a dorm mother stepped up to help when she realized what was happening.
My parents had thrown all my paperwork away and didn’t have me listed for move-in.
The dorm mom found me a spot and helped me enroll that night.
She saved my life.
Even then, my parents would show up and demand I return home each weekend.
They also forced me to call them every night at 10:00 p.m., or they called the cops.
They still blame college for me being ‘liberal.’
At 21, I had a nervous breakdown and realized I was queer.
I had suppressed it due to fear.
Then, I started separating myself from my parents.
I can breathe, I am happy, and I feel loved.
While it is sad that they have chosen hate and God instead of me, I never regret leaving.
Therapy is an ongoing help.
you’re free to escape.
Religion is a tool to repress, control, and harm.
you’re free to be spiritual, find faith, or just do your own thing.
you’re able to find one that loves and accepts you as you are.”
“My sister and her husband became hyper-religious after we (four kids) became adults.
Among other things, they shunned my ex-sister-in-law when she came out as gay.
They had known and loved my SIL for over 25 years.
She didn’t change, they did.
They are Trump lovers, they are hypocritical, and they are so non-Christian.
There is no milk of human kindness in them.
I’m done with my sister!”
As girls, we were required to wear skirts or dresses.
On a day I didn’t have class, I stopped by to pick up something I needed.
I had on jeans, a white collared shirt, and penny loafers.
I explained that I wasn’t attending class, but right then and there, I’d had enough.
I married a boy I met there, and we finished college elsewhere and never went back to church.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
