If the relationship isn’t working and you have kids, do NOT stay together just for them!"
Note: This post contains mentions of abuse, sexual abuse, and suicide.
Nobody is perfect, much less parents.
“My dad is the best example.
He was a pretty conservative man from the time my brother and I were born.
My brother came out when he was 17, and my dad didn’t take it well.
He even grounded him.
It broke my brother’s (and my) heart.
Now, we are both in our late 20s.
Recently, my dad accompanied my brother to a drag show and gay bar.
My dad even painted his nails for the occasion.
He was the loudest in the room and even talked to the drag queens afterward.
It’s one of my favorite stories to tell.”
Well, when I was 17, I started my first summer job at a local pizza spot.
Julie, 32
3.
“I had a really difficult relationship with my parents growing up.
After my mom stole my car, we became estranged again.
For years, I had worked on finally letting go and realizing that our relationship just would not improve.
I had to give up hope and mourn.
It felt different than the previous ‘apologies.’
I gave her a chance, and things have been really good since.
“My mother was not very kind to me growing up, but my brother could do no wrong.
I was still very wary of her, but she seemed to be trying.
starrcrossd
5.
“My father was verbally and sometimes physically abusive with my mom up until my early teens.
When I was about 14, he had to leave for a few months for work in West Africa.
He brought books written by counselors and such with him.
That was nearly 15 years ago, and my parents could not be more in love now.”
She was extremely hard on me and had always implied that I was a disappointment to her.
Now, we have a much better relationship.
Anonymous
7.
I was walking on eggshells, juggling all the responsibilities.
“When I was 15, I attempted suicide.
My siblings also treated me like shit.
While I was in the psychiatric ward, my mom and dad came to visit me every day.
The psych associates said they almost never had parents do that.
We did a family therapy session daily, and I learned a lot about them.
When I came home, we continued our family therapy and grew so much closer.
I now tell my parents everything, and I love them so much.”
“My parents got divorced.
Growing up, they did their best to be great parents (and did an amazing job!)
but had a toxic relationship that did no good for anyone.
And then, of course, things got nasty when financials got involved.
“My dad was very violent when I was a kid.
Two years ago, he and my mom divorced, and he completely changed.
He doesn’t get angry anymore, and I spend all of my time with him.
jayy9
11.
“I never had a good relationship with my mother.
However, she had a great relationship with my older brother, who was her first child.
My mom always followed him wherever he went, destroying all obstacles for him every step of the way.
I was absolutely shattered and ran away to stay with a friend until I went off to college.
I did not contact my mother or brother once during college and planned never to again.”
“Growing up, my dad had a real anger problem.
He didnt drink or do drugs he was just angry all the time.
He would take it out on me and my siblings.
We would be thrown around, hit, choked, and called every name under the book.
I never understood why my mom stayed with him.
At 18, I got pregnant.
This was the turning point for my dad.
He knew he had issues but always struggled to find help.
My son is 15 now, and they have an awesome relationship.
Honestly, I wouldnt have survived being a young single parent without my dad.
I am beyond proud of how much he has changed.”
Amie, 33, Australia
13.
“My dad came from an abusive, alcoholic upbringing.
He loved us, but he was scary when he got angry verbally abusive to my mom and siblings.
He imploded our world.
Cue basically a falling out and near 20-year estrangement or near estrangement between us kids and him.
He never stopped trying to reach out periodically, but typically, I couldn’t engage with him.
Around 2018 and 2019 (probably before then), he became more stable in his communications.
I always wanted him in my life; he was just very unsafe.
But, then, he wasn’t.”
“My parents were high school sweethearts.
They started dating when they were 14 but broke up after graduation.
My mom married a piece of trash six months later and had my oldest brother.
Her first husband abused her horribly everything you could think of.
She was lucky to get out alive.
Four years after theirbreakup, my mom reunited with her high school sweetheart, and they started dating again.
My mom got pregnant with my next brother and married two months later.
My mom then had my third brother, me, and then my sister.
They were the best parents they could be.
They went through a lot of trauma and abuse in both of their pasts.
My mom was angry and blew up all the time; anything would set her off.
We lived in fear of her and her blow-ups.”
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Dial 988 in the US to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ+ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.
Find other international suicide helplines at Befrienders Worldwide (befrienders.org).
