like proceed with caution.
“When I was a kid, our neighbor was really mean to my mom.
The last straw was on Easter she had worked that day and missed our regular traditions.
u/hairy_hooded_clam
2.
“AfterAmerican Piecame out, I was a super horny and lonely teen.
I decided why the heck not theres a fresh apple pie and I put my dick in it.
It was a little too hot, and I got dick burns.
Seems like I didnt throw the container away properly in my burnt-cock mission.”
He provides proof, and then she laughs, asking why he’s trying to start something.
Me lying like this?
Some way, somehow, hed unearth his kid is a pie fucker.
They end up splitting up and getting a divorce.
Years and years go by, and they are both remarried and happy.
They are civil and get along, but eyes still roll when pies are mentioned.
So, yeah: I fucked a pie, and it ended up with my parents divorcing.
I never said a word about it and never will.”
u/Dumble-Dork
3.
I also put bleach in his laundry soap.
I broke it off, but I told him it was because we were ‘drifting apart.'"
u/Madea_Tea_1169
4.
As he lay dying in the hallway, someone called an ambulance.
After being in a coma for a week, he miraculously woke up.
The hospital was telling my grandma to prepare themselves for his death.
Even though she almost killed him, he didn’t want to see her go to prison.
I was the only witness to the stabbing."
u/CascadeJ1980
5.
Reluctantly I agreed, as the money she offered was a good amount.
So I stripped and spent the whole party in basically nothing I had a blast and so did they.
u/PracticalPlankton99
6.
He paid for my first Stephen King hardcover as well as several metal band concerts."
u/Imajica0921
7.
One night I received a text saying, ‘I love you good night’ from his number.
I spoke to my parents, and they told me not to say anything until we knew more.
The dude didnt even say, ‘Sorry, wrong number’ nothing."
“A week into the vacation, we were all hopping into vans to do a tour.
I randomly ended up sitting next to my friends dad.
Minutes into the van ride, he asked, ‘How far are we from our country?’
to which my dad replied, ‘An hour or so by plane.’
Thats when I knew he sent the text to me by mistake.
I was trembling I didnt know what to do.
Was his wife aware?
Was this an open marriage?
They were pretty sure the affair started around the same time we went on that vacation.
I had to act surprised, hugging her with the rest of my friends like I knew nothing.
To this day, she doesnt know that Ive known since almost day one.”
u/Wide_Purchase5377
8.
But, she’s never going to know about the year I spent driving sex workers to their clients.
u/TooQuietForMe
9.
“My younger sister and I were in high school at the same time.
She did have one group of girlfriends who bullied her and eventually kicked her out of the group.
It was just with things like glitter, beans, toilet paper, etc.
no damage was actually done.
These people were also just mean assholes, and we had fun doing it.
We got to one girl’s house whose little sister was the main bully of my little sister.
“I went up and knocked on the door.
The mom answered, and I said, ‘Hi!
Is [X] here?’
[X] came to the door, and her face dropped.
They left my sister alone after that.
I never told her.”
u/Aromatic_Hornet9982
10.
“I had to fly to a state where abortion is legal.
My family is extremely conservative, and they’d stop talking to me if they found out.
u/ThrowAwayBrokenAC43
11.
My mom doesnt know that Im aware of it, and Ive also never told my brother.
u/C_Falls10
12.
The number she guessed was 10% of my real number.
u/Kriskao
13.
My husband knows, and we’ve worked our shit out, and we’re good now.
But, the deputy’s ex-wife doesn’t know that’s why he left her.
So I just keep my mouth shut because our youngest kids will be in preschool together this fall.”
u/the_courier76
14.
I doubt I’ll ever tell him about it rest in peace, Mr.
They changed their minds and included him, but sadly, my brother passed away.
So if you have things to share with others, dont wait.”
u/CandidFreedom855
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
