Welp, dear GOD, there were some mortifying stories.
“We were doing doggy style.
Then she let out the biggest, longest, hottest fart I’ve ever heard/smelled in my life.
Not much conversation after that one…”
u/CalligrapherHappy655
2.
“I stuck it up the wrong hole.
My girlfriend passed out, knocked out by hitting her jaw on the sink.
Her mother came in as I was trying to bring her around.
We were still very much naked.”
u/DucktapeCorkfeet
3.
“Once, I was having sex at a friend’s house we were petsitting for overnight.
My boyfriend at the time had me bent over their couch, and we were both naked.
It definitely ended the event.”
u/NotEntirelyStable412
4.
I felt a tad nauseous but brushed it off.
In my shock and horror, I go to grab something to clean/finish being sick.
She’s mortified but trying not to move to avoid making more of a mess.
It was horrible."
I don’t know how, but we managed to finish in the shower.
I am a trooper and couldn’t leave her unsatisfied.
u/RickSchezwanSanchez
5.
She laughed me off the bed."
u/bunnythebear
6.
“I have a pacemaker, and it kept shocking me.
I was fine.”
u/-lostmyducks-
7.
“I was super preggers, and we were doing 69.
I gagged on him and peed a little bit on his face and in his mouth.
I was mortified, and I felt so fucking bad .
Its funny now that I look back it was over five years ago!”
u/Mom-atm
8.
After a load of foreplay, I went to go inside and tore my banjo spring.
The white sheets looked like Jack the Ripper had decided to work out his frustration in that room.
Had fun trying to explain that one to the owners…"
u/GreyAndJaded
9.
She said, ‘Oh my, youre pale are you okay?
Never mind, Ill ask you later.’
She walked out laughing and shut the door.
This woman is now my mother-in-law and has been for five years.
She still asks me if my iron levels are low.
She’s sweet just not the brightest bulb."
u/QuailWestern83
10.
“I threw up on a girl’s lap one time after getting a pube stuck in my throat.
I started coughing, choking, and then barfed all over her crotch.
She was highly offended, and it was a while before she let me have another go.
u/whistleandfish
11.
“My wife and I were doing doggy style and forgot to lock the door.
Our 2-year-old came waltzing into the room, looking for attention.
I’m still inside my wife, with the sheets/blankets not within reach.
u/UDPviper
12. u/MountainMa1ne
13.
No, she didn’t put them on once she left (thank god).”
u/Matemos
14.
I swear he was judging my performance the whole time.
Nothing kills the mood like feeling evaluated by your own pet.”
u/OrangeJuiceTear
15.
Like, a whole poop.
It was like he had taken a fork and plucked a whole entire turd out of my butt.
He was really nice about it, though.
He laughed about it and then just got some Febreze."
u/d_nicky
16.And finally, “I was fingering my ex.
There was bleeding EVERYWHERE, so we rushed to the ER, where she needed stitches.
Who else should do her stitches at the hospital for wound care?
u/Prior_Flow_3518
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Like, a proud story you want to shout from the darn rooftops?!
