Let’s get spicy.
Warning: This post includes topics of sexual trauma.
yo proceed with caution.
“Everyone needs to learn about ‘sexual concordance.’
What a body does, and how you feel/think about it, are often two different things.
Understanding how sexual concordance happens is probably the single-greatest gift you could give yourself and your future/current partners.
Generally, for men, they tend to be more sexually concordant than women.
Generally, women are not quite as sexually concordant as men.
For many people, a ‘sexy situation’ doesn’t always equal arousal.
Emily Nagoski’s excellent bookCome As You Areis a great way to get sexual concordance in your vocabulary.”
u/[deleted]
2.
“People can become conditioned by how we masturbate.
Communication is important between partners, but also with ourselves.”
u/crispillicious
3.
“More women should put a mirror under their vagina to get to know it better.
Tons of sexual issues come from a lack of self-body knowledge.
And it’s never about trust with condoms it’s about yourself.
u/OreoSwordsman
4.
“Never stick anything in your butt that you’re free to’t pull out easily.
If something ends up stuck in the butt, don’t have a go at get it out.
You’ll only push it in deeper (and prepare for a really weird poop).
you should probably wash your goddamned sex toys, and consider using condoms on them.
They’ll last longer and be more hygienic.
Never use a silicone-based lube on a sex toy.
Also, female condoms have improved significantly over the years.
u/iNKisekki
5.
“If you feel satisfied during sex, there’s nothing wrong with your sex life.
Two minutes, 30 minutes whatever works best for you.
We’re talking averages (also timing yourself) I used to swear it was 1520 minutes.
But the actual time?
Eight to nine minutes.
Sex can distort your perception of time.”
u/PBRidesAgain
6.
“Sex addiction isn’t a formal diagnosis, and treatment will likely not be covered by insurance.
Technically we diagnose another specified impulse control disorder with compulsive sexual behavior.”
u/RyeTiliDie
7.
For example, there was this one guy who told me he suffered from premature ejaculation.
He was pretty reluctant about details, so I started questioning him about previous relationships.
So, in that case, a little sex ed did the trick.”
u/aRn0nYm
8.
“Sex isn’t only about penetration.
Try focusing on what makes both of you feel good.
u/geqo
9. you’ve got the option to identify as gay now and later start identifying as bisexual.
Roll with it.”
“The most common theme I see in practice is people not communicating openly and honestly.
The fix is simple talk to each other.
Just to be clear, the fix isn’t actually that simple.
“I work in pelvic floor physical rehab.
Consider physical health (pelvic muscle weakness and/or tightness) important to overall health.
Many things can result in this happening, but it’s not healthy.”
u/SearMe
12.
“A lot of older men come in requesting Viagra because they want to start dating again.
Some of them have lost their wives, and some of them have had recent divorces.
These men haven’t been able to achieve an erection in quite some time.
So, they think Viagra is the answer.
Regardless, at least once a month, it never fails.
A man will come back to my office on Monday with his arm in a sling.
I ask them, ‘Mr.
[X], what seems to be the problem?’
and they tell me, ‘My date didn’t show up.'”
u/BlakeClass
13. u/Keohane
“I love scheduled sex.
u/ZZBC
14.
“Sexual dysfunctions (like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, sexual pain, etc.)
are the most common problems.
It’s called Sensate Focus by Masters & Johnson.
Depending on the dysfunction, specific exercises can be added.
For example, the start-and-stop technique for premature ejaculation, dilators for vaginismus, or masturbation training for anorgasmia.
“A satisfying relationship inside the bedroom startsoutsidethe bedroom.
I used to intern with therapists, and they’d always stress the importance of communication.
So many patients throughout the years would say how learning their ‘love language’ helped save their relationships.
I’ve personally found it incredibly beneficial as well.
If nothing else, it opens the door for communication with your S.O.
We both were previously divorced from horrible first marriages.
The idea is so simple, yet the effects are pretty profound.
I cannot sing the praises ofThe 5 Love Languagesenough!”
u/nawtykitty
16.And finally, “In my sex therapy practice, I specialize in kink-aware counseling.
Youd be surprised how many partners/spouses react negatively to their partner expressing an interest in BDSM.
The stigma around sensory exchange (my preferred term for SM play) is huge.
But neither mindset is useful or accurate.
BDSM doesnt equate to abuse or domestic violence or imply a traumatic history.”
u/Seeking_Starlight
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
