Love is something else.
Recently Reddit userballofsunshine12asked women of the AskWomen subreddit community, “Hows life aftergetting married?”
yo proceed with caution.
“We’ve been married for 19 years, and it’s quite miserable now.
The first decade was great the ‘newness’ of the marriage and kids coming into the picture.
It was great until it wasnt.
We had three kids under the age of five, and he was in the army.
It was very hard for me to be able to prioritize EVERYONE.
I didnt have much left at the end of the day.”
“He was medically retired from the army unexpectedly and abruptly.
I worried about money and housing.
He was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder I focused on the wrong things.
He struggled to find a job due to loss of identity, I viewed it as ‘laziness.’
He didnt communicate with me.
The things I did were never appreciated.
Resentments were built on both ends, and things spiraled from there.
I did the best that I could with what I had, which, in hindsight, wasnt much.
Then, he became distant.
Last year, he told me he was sleeping with someone else.
He claims it wasnt cheating because we agreed to divorce.
But nothing was filed, and he was still living at home.
Hes still with that woman, and I moved out two months ago.
You cannot give your best to anyone ifyouare not at your best.
u/That_Bluebird2477
2.
“It was perfect until we had fertility issues.
So, yeah, we’ve been married for six years and together for 17.”
u/FitAd8822
3.
“Married for seven years, no kids.
Id say we definitely became more mature.
We still give each other plenty of personal time for our hobbies.
u/PatientNumber007
“Woah, same experience with the career!
We were both career try-hards, and I was super ambitious.
u/Adventurous_Bird_505
4.
“Id say our relationship has gotten worse since I was pregnant with my first child.
It wasnt until I was trapped that I fully realized that my husband wasnt supportive of me.
He is supportive of his own family and would choose them over me in a heartbeat.
It’s his family vs.
I’m also the ‘default parent.’
Im not having a great time with him, but it is what it is at the moment.”
u/Responsible_Web_7578
5.
“We fought a lot right after we got married.
We were young, still figuring ourselves and each other out.
But soon, we calmed down, learned to understand each other, and picked our battles.
We’ve been together for over a decade now, and I couldnt be happier.
u/robotjyanai
6.
I have a real partner.
Weve settled into a nice routine that works for us.
We’re still madly in love.
“I do see a lot of unhappiness in my friends marriages, though.
There are a lot of discrepancies in labor and responsibility.
I have four friends in the midst of divorce, and one seriously considering it.
I keep telling her to leave and be happy.
What a mess.”
u/judithpoint
7.
“I got married at 19, and Im now 51.
I’ve been with him since I was 14 years old.
We had our first kid at 19, our second at 22, and then our third at 25.
I’ve never really thought about how it is or isnt, tbh.
We even work together driving road trains.
We do everything together, and nothing is an issue.”
u/Gold-Impact-4939
“Its so lovely to hear that people have been together for a long time!
Id say its pretty rare nowadays .”
u/BritAsiangirl06
8.
It just got worse from there.
They have both disowned him.”
u/whoinvitedthesepeopl
9.
“[He started abusing me after our honeymoon].
It’s the weirdest thing ever.
u/SometimesImmortal
10.
He loves laughing, and hes quick to smile.
We go on little adventures frequently, and he understands when my health cant hold out.
He doesnt pressure me to do anything that sucks he doesnt pressure me to do anything EVER.
If theres a disagreement, we have a conversation, and we both become happier.”
“Hes literally had to take care of me.
They chose to sedate me until the antidepressant could begin to work.
Hes also incredibly handsome, has a beautiful smile and voice, and listens fervently to any bedroom request.
Getting married worked out splendidly for me.”
u/skyedot94
11.
“We dated for three months and have been married for 15 years.
Life has been extremely hard at times.
I’ve developed severe depression over the past few years (from child loss back in 2021).
I’ve had several miscarriages in the past and had a stillborn birth in 2011.
So it’s been hell for us.
I will say that being with my husband has made me very grateful and happy.
u/Classic-Giraffe-3812
12.
“It’s been amazing.
We’ve been married for two years, together for seven, and best friends for 11.
My marriage really makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world.”
u/AYearOfSaturdays
13.
“We’ve been married for 20 years.
We were both in our thirties when we met; neither had ex-spouses or kids.
We have one child now, and she will be off to college this fall.
My husband is a great spouse and dad.
u/likestotraveltoo
14.
“Why do I have to do more than him?
Why do I have to work but also take care of the mental load and kids and house?
And answer ridiculous questions all day long?
When I was single, I had so much more headspace and freedom.”
u/lc3ls3y
15.
Getting the wedding over and done with was a huge relief.
My anxiety over the day of (in the midst of COVID and having potential cancellations, etc.)
I was so happy when it was done, and we could go back to ‘normal.'”
“Children were the game changer.
Nothing tests your relationship quite like children.
But my husband is top-tier.
Children were a test for us, but weve become better at communicating because of them.
I sacrificed to be where I am because it meant being with him.
I regret them all.
Now Im stuck with him until I can unfuck myself in this cold area.
I dont recommend [getting married].”
u/aesthesia1
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
