“I was married for 17 years, and I wish that I had known my worth.
I felt taken for granted for much of the time.
I was no more than a scholarship fund, a maid, and a cook.”
Warning: This post contains mentions of abuse.
I had this fantasy that I would no longer be lonely once I was married.
I almost married once more but came to my senses.
I’ve been single for the past 34 years.
“Lived in France.
I do what I want.
Watch what I want.
Eat when I want.
I clean, or not, when I want.
It’s glorious!I’m fabulously happy these days.
Not lonely at all!Got lots of friends, women and men.
If you’re lonely, get a dog!
It’s not easy; you need a strong spine and spirit.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
72, Oregon
2.
“My ex kept a clean house and was an excellent cook.
I was smitten and thought I had found my soulmate.
However, the moment that ring was on my finger, I became his personal maid.
mekent
3.
“The hardest part about being married is becoming unmarried.
I thought my marriage was perfect; we never fought.
I had dinner on the table.
Anonymous, 48
4. mindfulladynat
5.
Towards the end of my relationship, I realized my happiness was tied to being apart from my partner.
Anonymous, Florida
6.
“We need to have healthy boundaries.
Yes, we take vows.
And yes, there are ups and downs in any marriage.
Marriage is a day-to-day work in place.
I was married for 17 years.
I wish that I had been braver than I was.
I wish that I had known my worth.
I felt taken for granted for much of the time.
I was no more than a scholarship fund, a maid, a cook, etc.
verify you are making yourself happy in a marriage or leave with your dignity and conscience in place.”
“see to it your wants and needs are being fulfilled.
Be the master of your future.
Never depend on anyone but yourself.
Be kind to yourself and others.Demand respect and kindness from others as well.
Never tolerate abuse!”
58, Georgia
7.
“No one tells you that marriage is not about love and that walking away is okay.
I dealt with that for six years, even going to therapy because I thought I was the problem.
poeticsmoothie384
8.
He never grew up beyond his own extremely immature age of 29 when he met me.
We lost our first-born to a bacterial disease at age two.
Then, we welcomed three more babies after.
He married his perfect, perfect queen the third time around!
A second-grade teacher with no children herself!
Truly a miracle she raised him from a baby to a boy to almost a man now.
He has become his children’s HERO now.
I’m glad I didn’t ever blurt out, ‘But wait!
He abandoned us!’
beeegood
9.
My ex and I used to let everything fester for days/weeks and sometimes never really talk about it.
Then, we would have a blowup, and nothing would get solved.”
sharpghost212
10.
He was a cop and didn’t make enough money, and I was the breadwinner being a CPA.
Well, I had an affair, and we ended up in a divorce.
My current husband is 71, and I’m 62.
We are still working, and my ex is 60 and has been retired for a while now.
I believe his current wife is younger than him.
and she’s also retired.
62, Hawaii
11.
“There will be hard times it’s not all rainbows and unicorns.
I learned not to ask everyone else what they’d do in XYZ situation.
When you’re having issues, grab your partner, turn your phones off, and talk!!!
Be open, ask direct questions, and explain EXACTLY how you feel AND why.
It will get you SO much further with men.”
Also, there are no rash decisions.
Signed, divorced, and remarried to the SAME man, approaching 16 years together.”
37, Alabama
12.
The fancy cars I thought he owned belonged to his customers at the paint shop he worked for.”
“I was really angry.
Then, he left me for another woman.
I won’t be taken advantage of ever again.It sucks so bad.”
lovelychipmunk20
13.
“I have been married for 20 years and finally divorced.
The marriage left me traumatized, and I now suffer from anxiety.
I look back and think about how I survived this horrible marriage.
Nobody told me how to deal with this kind of person.
My husband was all loving and hiding his true self for 10 years.
He wanted a mother, not a wife.
49, Australia
14.
We have been together for 11 years in what I thought was a beautiful marriage.
Everyone: Do not be afraid to tell your loved one how you feel.
It’s not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength!”
34, Illinois
15.
“[Having different goals.]
I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother with lots of kids.
That was my dream, but my husband didn’t understand it.
I was grateful that we had five beautiful kids together.
It was the practical choice, but I am ashamed to say how jealous and resentful I was.”
44, Florida
16.
“He is fighting the restraining order, violating them, and talks poorly about me to our children.
Now, I’m in financial debt like never before, and my living situation is tenuous.
50, California
And finally…
17.
“The hardest point for me was the end.
My entire life I watched my mom go from marriage to boyfriend to marriage and back again.
I said to everyone when I got married, it would be for life.
My ex was abusive and cheated on me, and I put up with it.
He isolated me from my friends and family.
Anonymous, 48
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
