We created a safe space to experiment and ask each other to try new things."
Their responses were incredibly honest, interesting, and actually quite surprising.
Here’s what people revealed:
1.
“We waited to have sex until after being married.
We were married young, and he was my first serious boyfriend.
I am glad my experience was with someone I knew, loved, and committed to.
Anonymous
2.
“We waited for religious reasons.
We met in college and dated for three years total before getting married.
Our first night was amazing.
Heck, our whole honeymoon was amazing.
I would say the sex has only continued to get better (married for 10 years now).
Compared to now, our first time wasn’t as amazing looking back.
I realize not everyone has this experience.”
“We were both virgins on our wedding night.
The first go was bumpy at best.
I recall looking at my husband and saying, ‘Teenagers do this.
It can’t be that difficult!’
We laughed and tried until we found a position and rhythm that worked for us.
I thought it would be likeThe 40-year-old Virgin two minutes and done for him.
It lasted about 30 minutes; then I had to call it quits.
We tried again the next three days, but he still could not finish.
“We’ve been married 16 years, and our intimate life is PHENOMENAL!
We talk openly outside of the bedroom with each other about this subject with zero shame or judgment.
We have a better, more active sex life now than we did at the beginning.
We’ve learned with each other, and I would never trade that.”
“My husband and I were both virgins when we got married at 34 and 28.
Our wedding night was awesome.”
We took our time, and there was minimal discomfort.
I knew my partner was kind and fun and would put my needs before his.
Everything else, I felt, could be worked on.”
We waited until our wedding night because that’s what ‘good Baptists’ do.
zara_black
6.
“I grew up in a very conservative Christian religion that taught sex before marriage was a sin.
I experienced orgasms and had an understanding of what I did and didn’t like.
I taught him a few things while we were dating.”
“We got married after only a year, so it was pretty fast.
We were in our early 20s.
We did wait until our wedding night to have sex, and honestly, it was pretty terrible.
I guess it had been built up as this huge thing, and it didn’t meet our expectations.
What a weird way to think.”
“I waited until marriage to have sex.
I had not even ‘experimented’ with myself.
I grew up in a very religious setting, and it left me with some mental trauma.
It doesn’t work like that.
Proper sex education and exploration of your own body are so important.
If it continuously hurts, just see a doctor.
“My wife and I both waited until marriage to do the deed for religious reasons.
But the wedding night was really amazing.
We had a big, fun wedding, and the first night together was really special.
We just hit five years together, and every time still feels special.
There is something to be said about growing together sexually.
But we both focused on each other’s pleasure and communicated well.
10/10 would recommend.”
angelicwalrus47
9.
“Yes, I waited, then didn’t enjoy it at all.
Then, I realized I didn’t enjoy sex with men.
I opened my marriage, met a woman, and got divorced.
I’m now not dating because I am actively transitioning to androgynous.”
“I waited until marriage because of religious beliefs.
I wasn’t pressured by purity culture; I actually didn’t experience that growing up.
My parents were pro-sex ed, and they encouraged my questions.
My experience with this topic at church was also generally positive.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting.
My husband is an atheist.
“It’s been six years, and we’re very happy.
I’m still religious, and he is still atheist.
We’re both glad we waited.
We both feel society is too quick to scoff at waiting and is too sex-obsessed.”
weindrasi
11.
I wanted that commitment before I made the physical commitment.
The night was very memorable.
We went very slowly and stopped when we needed to.
It was a bonus that it was also his first time too.
“I waited to have sex because of my Christian beliefs.
I am happy I did.
But honestly, we did it three times that night/morning, and it was fun figuring it out!
We created a safe space to experiment and ask each other to try new things.
We are still trying new things, and it gets better and better.
I 100% would recommend waiting.”
I was a virgin on my wedding night.
My husband was not a virgin, so he coached me through sexual intercourse.
“My wife and I dated for almost five years before marriage.
We decided very early in our relationship that sex needed to be saved for marriage.
My view on this was mostly formed by evangelical purity culture.
However, it did mean something to me to save this important part of life for an important person.
Fast forward to our wedding night.
I don’t want to sound cliche, but it was genuinely magical.”
My perspective on waiting until marriage is still similar now, but not due to an evangelical purity curse.
“We got married young, at 20 and 22.
We were both so tired from the long day that we should have just gone to bed.
The physical aspect was awkward, and we laughed a lot.
The next day, after getting sleep, it was much better.
It made discussing different positions or fantasies easier, without fear of judgment.
That level of trust was amazing.
We were married for 10 years until his unexpected death during COVID.”
dovrenee
16.
But it was so worth it.
The actual intercourse was only a small part of it.
He was patient and took it slow, ensuring I enjoyed myself every time.”
We both came from purity culture but decided for ourselves.
I wore a negligee and alternated between cuddling and trying to puke.
Our sex life is great; we have no regrets!”
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
