They’re little harmless lies that came to bite them in the butt.
“It was Saint Paddys Day, and I called off work sick to go drinking with my friends.
Ended up on the local 6 p.m. news completely shitfaced.
Turns out my boss watched the news nightly, along with several of my coworkers.
Busted, LOL.”
She began to cut slices and serve to everyone.
In essence, lie to my aunt that we loved the cake, even though each bite was torturous.
So we’re sitting there, painfully chewing and swallowing the cake, trying hard to keep smiling."
“Finally my aunt sat down and took a bite.
She immediately spit it out and said, ‘This cake tastes awful!
Why are you all eating it?!’
Still a family joke till this day.
:)”
cnf1
3.
Anonymous
4.
“For years, my husband has loved my ‘homemade’ angel food cake.
It’s actually the angel food cake that is displayed above the strawberries at Walmart.
I just so happen to have a pan that it fits perfectly in, so it was extra convincing.
Until he found the package in the trash, he thought I made it.
He still loves it and still calls it my angel food cake.”
“I used to be involved in petty crime, and would often use an alias.
“I was babysitting a 5-year-old when I accidentally passed gas.
Of course, I blamed it on him.
Then he said he knew it was me because his farts dont smell like that.
To which I responded that I cant fart because I dont have a bum.
To which he responded, ‘Then why were you pooping in the bathroom before?’
“I am a super picky eater.
Many years ago, my then-boyfriend invited me to meet his family at a family party they were having.
My teacher later told me that she saw me standing at the bus stop. "
“I clogged a toilet at a friend of a friend’s birthday party.
“It was my sophomore year of high school, and my brother was a senior.
I forged a note to skip and gave it to my German teacher.
It said I had an appointment with my therapist.
Most teachers were too embarrassed to bring it up.”
“Not me but a close high school friend in 1985.
My friend thought it would be funny to roll on the floor and pretend to have a seizure.
We didnt know it was a joke and began screaming for help.
I had to admit to the whole class I had been lying and didn’t really need glasses.
Still traumatized by that one!”
She had the coolest eyeshadow, a copper shade with orange and gold tones that looked good on me.
I took said makeup and blamed it on her younger sister.
I asked him if he knew where it was, and he pretended to look for it.
I knew my friend had taken it.
When I came back downstairs, my car was there.”
He then began quoting it, and I had no idea what the jokes were.
When he asked me to tell him my favorite quote, I froze and fessed up.
We did not have a second date.”
“When I first met my wife, she was drinking White Russians.
We got to talking, and she said they were her favorite drink.
And wouldn’t you know it?
They turned out to be my favorite drink as well.
Fast-forward six years and we’re getting married, and we’re picking our signature drinks for the reception.
Obviously, she wanted White Russians.
Because she’s a saint, our marriage survived my betrayal.
:-P”
17.And lastly, “I’m a 55-year-old gay combat veteran.
I was the king of white lies for the first 23 years of my life.”
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
