“I told my brother not to contact me again about her unless she was dead or dying.”
Sometimes family drama runs deeper than blood.
We recentlyaskedtheBuzzFeed Communityto share what happened when they reconnected with an estranged family member cutting them off.
Here’s what they had to say:
Note: Some submissions are from thisReddit thread.
“I’m a triplet.
My parents turned to IVF because they originally wanted twins, but one of the embryos split into two.
Let’s call my other two sisters Alice and Anna.
Anna and I were quite close, as we were both identical.
Alice was the outsider, but Anna and I still maintained a good relationship with her throughout our childhood.
Alice was left at home.
She then started to bake cookies only to forget about them.
Our house almost burned down to the ground.
All of our possessions were gone, just like that.
“It was a mistake.
I changed numbers again and haven’t looked back.”
u/Shiny_eyes_over_der
3.
“I cut my mom off in 2019.
I am a survivor of Munchausen syndrome by proxy.
The whole ordeal took four hours.”
“My mom was always my confidant for things in life.
She and I will never be 100%.”
They screwed up so they need to put in the work and know your worth.
u/Mountain_Man92
5.
My sister played mediator between us after years of not seeing each other or speaking.
We never really talked things out.
He never apologized and even said he didn’t feel the need to.
But he did want me to apologize to wife number four which I flat-out refused.
After that, we never spoke about any of it again.”
“I only reinitiated contact with my father because my sister asked.
He hasn’t changed.
I finally had enough and quit trying.
It is a weight off my shoulders.”
u/Princeofcatpoop
7.
“I don’t speak to either one of my parents.
My mother is a very toxic and damaged person.
I moved away from her about five years ago.
The first year she didn’t speak to me.
She was mad that I moved away.
We reconnected and I thought she changed.
People usually don’t change.
It is OK to cut family out if they are sick people.”
“Essentially I had a deadbeat dad.
He was kind of around for a bit, then just stopped.
Eventually, I stopped even caring.
In my early 20s, his mom died, and they wanted me to be a pallbearer.
My dad and I had a relationship for a while.
I don’t regret letting him back in though.”
As they say, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Now we will exchange pleasantries on holidays, but that is about it."
u/illinin02
9.
“I had a sibling who liked to create drama and turned everything into a massive fight.
I learned over time to ignore her when she got like that.
I stopped giving her the reaction she was looking for.
Amazingly enough, we get along great now and talk often.”
“I didn’t talk to my mom for four years at all, zero contact.
I had so much less heartache and drama without her, but I eventually started talking to her again.
I keep trying, especially because now I have a three-year-old son and feel guilty keeping him from her.
Every situation is unique.
No right answer to this.
u/goshthisishard
11.
“I reconnected with my dad earlier this year.
He didn’t seem overly impressed that I was still single with no kids either.
I wouldn’t say it was a mistake.
After my sister-cousin called my siblings out for how they treated me, they realized they were wrong.
We reconnected at our father’s funeral after barely seeing each other for 30 years.
It was hard, and we are taking baby steps.
smellytortoise841
13.
“My sister and I were never close.
She’s 30, by the way, not a toddler.”
“I only reconnected after they worked to make amends and acknowledged what they had done.
As an adult, it wasn’t something they could do to me again.
But I do keep my distance and limit my time with them.
u/OctoberAutumn
15.
“I have a toxic relative.
We fought for years.
“I cut off my grandmother when I was a teenager for a few different reasons.
She was pretty nasty towards my mother and had no interest in my life while constantly praising my cousin.
She often compared us and I was never good enough.
I got back in touch with her in my mid-20s.
I forgave her for what she did.
It was more of a personal growth moment than anything else.
It felt good to put something like that behind me.”
u/thedeluxeedition
17.
She seems incredibly jealous of everyone around her, not just us specifically.
“I cut out my mom for a year.
She started going to therapy and would say the same things over and over again.
She only focused on what she wanted and never compromised.
I ended up cutting her back out six to seven months later.
It was honestly a heartbreaking waste of energy.
I had to go through the trauma of trying to realize that.
While I may now have some good memories, her behavior and words completely overshadowed them.
Overall, it was not a good time.
Zero stars, would not recommend.”
u/sophie_panda
19.
Other family members asked me to reach out when she was diagnosed with a likely fatal cancer.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
