“Thirty-plus years later, their kids still make fun of me.”
Dating is… rough, and we’re bound to embarrass ourselves sooner or later.
Here are a few of them.
I thought her dad was gonna have a heart attack.
To this day, the guy says he’s never laughed harder, and he’s like 90.
Thirty-plus years later, these people have their kids still making fun of me, man."
“I ripped a noxious silent fart in the grocery store as we were checking out.
His face went white, and he started grabbing the grocery bags pretty fast.
He said, ‘We gotta get outta here.
Someone farted, and it smells really bad.’
He took off walking really fast, and I started laughing so hard that I couldn’t keep up.
He didn’t turn around until the parking lot saw me laughing and said, ‘That was YOU!’
We’ve been together for 17 years; married for almost 10 years.”
u/thisthingwecalllife
3.
“We weren’t even dating yet.
I tried to kick off the window first, to throw up out the window.
Knowing him now, I can’t believe he ever spoke to me again.
I can’t believe he cleaned all of that up and still proposed six months later.”
I threw up twice in the toilet and once in the bathtub in his apartment.
I managed to throw up in my own hair all three times.
He cleaned it up three times, washed my hair all three times, and combed it out.
The third time, he found my anti-frizz spray and French braided it.
We got married four months ago and have been together for five and a half years.
He’s the best!"
u/xoSMILEox92
5.
“I was in my first year of work out of law school.
I was working around the clock, was super sleep-deprived, and had basically no social life.
He took me to a party with a bunch of his Burning Man artist friends.
I was feeling out of place and so sleep-deprived and tired that my social compass was off.
When it came to my turn to share, I blurted out, ‘All I make is money.’
I still cringe 15 years later!”
“We went to an amusement park, and one of the rides suddenly made me very nauseous.
I tried to hold it in, but it didn’t work, and I ended up vomiting.
We’ve been married for 13 years, and I don’t go on amusement park rides anymore!”
u/Kanadark
7.
“I farted on the first date.
Eighteen years later, I’m still an embarrassment.”
“Not me, but my loving husband.
Walking around and looking at all the imported items, he picked up a bottle of men’s cologne/aftershave.
It was so startling and so awful.
All I could smell for HOURS was cheap aftershave.
I still married the doofus.”
u/TheRoyalShe
9.
“When he introduced me to his parents, I was nervous enough already.
No one said anything in the car; it was a total awkward silence.
When we finally got to our destination, I stepped out of the car, and my foot slipped.
u/FindMe_SomebodyToLuv
11.
“Early on, I spent the night and overslept the next morning.
I ended up clogging the toilet.
He bought a plunger on his way home and… took care of it.
We’ve been together 11 years now.”
“Well, I almost ruined his proposal.
Well, they got engaged in Hawaii the day before we got to Hawaii.
I was due for a marriage proposal at any time.
He had the ring already purchased and a perfect-day snorkel trip with my favorite animal already booked.
I’ll never live this one down.”
u/JustGenericName
13.
“I tripped and fell into his mouth for our first kiss.
He thought I was being overzealous when I came flying in.
Maybe a year later, he brought it up laughing, ‘Remember our first kiss?!’
I said that I did and talked about a totally different (later) kiss.
He was quick to refresh my memory, and it came flooding back.
(I did, I swear!)”
“We spent our first Christmas together with all his family.
I had horrible cramps and excused myself to the bathroom to do my business.
I ended up clogging the toilet and absolutely panicking.
After I texted for help, my now-husband came to my rescue with a plunger.
His brother saw him and laughed, ‘Clogged the toilet?’
and my husband just said, ‘Yep,’ and took the blame to save me the embarrassment.
That’s when I knew it was true love.”
u/Necessary-Quality-77
15.
Locally, the doors aren’t totally sealed off, meaning there is space at the top.
I always ‘wipe and look’ until the toilet paper is clean.
I know he saw; he knows I know he saw.
We both never acknowledged it happened!”
“We had been dating for only a couple of weeks and had not slept together at this point.
I had just moved back home after getting out of the military and was staying downstairs.
My much younger brother was still living at home.
I had just returned from upstairs to get drinks and popcorn and had my hands full.
He grabbed not only my shorts but also my underwear.”
“Intentional or not, everything came down.
I could only stand there, hands full of popcorn and drinks.
I very calmly set down what was in my hands and pulled up my shorts.
As I turned around, the look of fear and surprise on my brother’s face was almost comical.
He ran faster than he had ever moved before, possibly scared or scarred for life.
My girlfriend just blushed and thought it was funny.
When I finally sat down, she said, ‘Well, you’ve shown me yours.
I guess I’m going to have to show you mine now.’
I knew she was a keeper then.”
u/NotDrEvil
17.
“I once pooped myself a little while sitting on the bed eating an ice cream sandwich.
She heard the fart and said, ‘Did you just shit yourself?’
I admitted that I did while continuing to sit there until I finished my ice cream sandwich.
We’ve been married for 10 years now.”
“I did not know at the time that I was allergic to Vagisil.
The gyno was even surprised at how swollen I was.
Then, I had to sit open-legged in front of a fan for a week.
My man did all the things for me that week.”
u/caywriter
19.
“We weren’t even dating yet, but I was helping her move.
We were friends before we started dating.
I felt so bad.
About a year later, we started dating, and she picked this Greek restaurant.
She did insist on smashing my plate for me, which I thought was fair.”
Worse yet, it was a hotel room.
He was totally cool and didn’t even blink twice.
He never brought it up again, either."
u/aceituna_garden
21.
“We got pregnant with twins before we got married.
I didn’t even move in with him until I was five months along.
I ordered some iced tea and some kind of pasta dish.
I threw up a lot when I was pregnant.
I made it to the bathroom just in time.
This restaurant had one women’s bathroom, no stall, just a bathroom.
As I was bending over and puking, I lost all control of my bladder.”
Some entries may have been edited for length/clarity.
