My mama had to call a plumber to unclog the toilet."
Anonymous
2.
Perpetually Perplexed
3.
“I took a bite out of every cookie in the container and hid them around the house.
Saw right through me.”
daniwhatshername
5.
He never got caught nor did he do any damage to the bus somehow."
Luckily, my uncle caught us.
We could’ve burned down the whole building."
maybbeyesmaybbeno
7.
“When we were little, my oldest cousin and I went to Kmart with our moms.
My cousin was in the shopping cart ahead of mine during checkout.
The cashier looked at my cousin and commented that she was so cute.
My cousin picked her nose and presented her finger to the cashier, ‘Here, Lady.
Want a booger?'”
My parents thought the phones were broken or something because no one could hear them on the other end.
“I was maybe 12, and went to the movies with my parents.
There was a poster for the movieThe40-Year-Old Virgin.My dad turned 40 that year as well.
Guess what I yelled in the very busy movie theater?
‘DAD, THAT MOVIE IS ABOUT YOU!'”
torisalls910
10.
That maybe lasted 10 minutes.
In my defense, I thought it was clay.
She still has one of the cat shit crafts, 35 years later."
juliah4c58cb1dc
12.
At the end of the visit, I announced that I did indeed have to ‘go’ now.
“I was maybe 7 or 8, and my brother was 6.
My mom went out on a date, and the babysitter apparently wasn’t paying too much attention.
We decided that mom’s car needed washing.
The Kleenex fell apart all over the car, and dried before my mom saw it in the morning.
She had to laugh, though.”
luckyangel30
14.
This also included aGreekOrthodox baptism.
They stripped her down naked and dipped her into a gold basin.
She’s screaming her head off.
Terrified I screamed out, ‘Oh no!
They’re cooking her in the pot!'"
“I once told classmates that I wanted to be ananimalpornographer.
Cue our teacher asking me to see her at break time.
Prolix
16.
“Mybest friendlived across the street, and we played with Barbies all the time.
She had a Barbie house in their downstairs play room.
One day, we decided Barbie needed to mow the grass.
We ended up cutting a good two square feet of the carpet around the doll house.
Her mom was not pleased.
They left it that way until they moved eight years later.
But that part of the carpet was always an inch shorter.”
dlish
17.
Sammy
18.
It never worked again.”
“My dad was doing work under the house when I was about 2 or 3.
He decided it would be funny to tap on the floor and act like he was trapped.
I’m in my 30s now, and they still bring it up from time to time.”
SparklySlytherin
20.
How funny I mustve looked to the other customers!"
JMPS
21.
It was not my dad.
He did, and clocked our other sibling in the face on the other side of the house."
