“I wish real stay-at-home mom life would find the viral spark the tradwife movement has.
It’s not glamorous, but it is beautiful.”
The"tradwife" lifestylehas been going viral all over social thanks to influencers likeNara SmithandEstee Williams.
Here are their stories:
1.
“The difference is all in the name.
Tradwife emphasizes wife while stay-at-home mother emphasizes mother.
One is about the husband, and one is about the children.
I was a WFH/SAHM for nearly 10 years when my kids were young.
Yes, daycare was expensive and not what my husband and I wanted.
But it wasn’t about my husband.
“Tradwife = ‘perfect life’; while a SAHM is selfless, underpaid, and unappreciated.”
Anonymous from California
3.
“I’ve been a SAHM for over three years, but I’m far from being a tradwife.
My job is to take care of my family, not maintain an image.
That means ponytails, t-shirts, and sweatpants a lot of the time not 50s-style dresses.
That lifestyle seems shallow and unrealistic.
My husband also isn’t wild about me wearing heavy makeup and prefers my face without it.
“Being a SAHM isn’t about putting on a persona like ‘tradwives’ for the perfect Instagram post.
It is vulnerable and authentic to stay home keeping little humans alive and healthy all day.
maskedturtle79
5.
“I stay at home, homeschool, as well as work a remote job part-time.
Simply put, with three young kiddos there just isn’t time for picture-perfect.
I don’t wear makeup most days and my hair is in a messy ponytail.
That’s so much more important and meaningful than any superficial look could ever be.
I wish real SAHM life would find the viral spark the tradwife movement has.
It’s not glamorous but it is beautiful.”
I do it instead of my husband because I have medical training and am the most organized.
Ours is a partnership.
Thankfully, my husband has none of those expectations.
Don’t call me a tradwife, I’ll come for you.”
Heather from Colorado
7.
“I’m a mom who is working from home.
I still keep up with my profession and participate in events with my colleagues.
My spouse and I split the chores, too.
Before our son came along, HE was the househusband!
Now we’re navigating a shared home office in an apartment that’s becoming a playroom.”
Michelle from Louisiana
9.
“I’ve spent the last four years working from home part-time while also being an SAHM.
I see multiple differences between myself and tradwives.
My husband and I are in a partnership.
The money is both of ours, and big decisions aren’t just made by one of us.
He is very hands-on in caring for our daughter when he’s not at work.
“I’m in charge of the house and kids while he’s at work.
Once he’s home, everything is 50/50.
We are an equal partnership.
I don’t work for him or submit to him.
It just made more sense for me to be responsible for the kids.
We can do better financially if he works full-time rather than us both working part-time.”
Abi from the United Kingdom
11.
“It’s ideology.
Tradwives believe this is the way relationships should be and that women belong in the home.
An SAHM is just a mom whose job is to take care of the kids/home.”
It was truly what felt like the best choice for the kids.
My husband is not my child and I don’t treat him as such.
My role is not to serve him.
We are partners as parents and as household managers.
I just handle more day-to-day tasks as the one who is home with the kids.”
Carly from Utah
13.
“I’m an SAHM because daycare for two kids would pretty much eat up my whole paycheck.
I was a teacher.
When he is off the clock, he takes on a full share of household and parenting duties.
I feel like a lot of tradwife stuff is either religious oraesthetic.
I am neither, unless messy and chronically late is an aesthetic.
I don’t make my own bread, I don’t homeschool, and I live in stained leggings.
Nothing against the people who do the tradwife thing, it’s just not us.
I fully intend on returning to work once my youngest is in kindergarten.”
“With the prevalence of autism in children soaring, it’s important moms like me not be overlooked.
There are days I don’t feel like a mom but a full-time caregiver.
I’m not making baked goods from scratch for views.
I’m doing it to make something allergy-safe for my kids to eat.”
Candice
15.
“My partner and I have been together for 13 years.
We are not married.
I stay at home with our three kids and he works.
I am not a tradwife.
We are simply trying to survive.
When we had our second, my partner was working two jobs so that I could stay home postpartum.
Then, the pandemic happened.
I would just be paying someone all of my income to take care of my kids now.
Instead, my partner works six days a week and I take care of household management.
There are definitely things within my household management that would align with being a tradwife.”
“When my husband is at work, he’s working.
When I’m home with the kid, I’m working.
When my husband comes home, we’re both working.
There’s no hierarchy in who does what job.
We both do what needs to be done.”
Sara from Washington
17.
“As a SAHM I do a lot of the cleaning and cooking.
I however love to cook and find it very grounding.
As far as the cleaning goes, why wouldn’t I do it if I’m home?
When he is home everything is equally our problem.
He immediately jumps into the childcare and cleaning duties.”
Shelby from Minnesota
19.
“I was an SAHM because I kind of fell into it.
I was laid off in March and became pregnant in October.
No one in my area would hire me so I just stayed home.
I was not at all prepared, but we kind of figured it out as we went along.
I went back to work when my youngest was entering middle school.
99% of my day is spent taking care of my kids.
My grown-ass husband is capable of taking care of himself.”
KC from Florida
21.
Being an SAHM is more like a 9-to-5 job.
The money-earning spouse can be leaned on for help when they’re home.
This often makes the labor input more obvious.
“SAHM for seven years now.
I also really like being home with my kids and enjoying this time while they’re still little.
But unlike tradwives, I don’t do all the cooking or cleaning because my husband LOVES to cook.
He asked me if he could still be the one to make dinner when I became a SAHM.
Anonymous from New Hampshire
23.
“I’m an SAHM who doesn’t have anything to prove to the outside world.
Love and the feeling of home are what matter to SAHMs.”
25.And finally, “I was an SAHM for about two years.
For me, it was a mix of both.
We wanted that for our son.
Plus, daycare would have cost more than I made at my low-level university job.
From what I’ve seen for ‘tradwives,’ it seems the focus is more on the husband.”
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
