I will think about this deeply un-sexy harmonica player story for the rest of my life.
Redditor u/emily_johnson321asked, “What’s the worst dating experience you had this year?”
“We got in a motorcycle accident on our first date, two minutes away from my house.
u/Sweetie_SunriseX
2.
“My best friend was a guy, and his girlfriend didn’t like me hanging out with him.
She decided she wanted to set me up on a date to get me out of her hair.
My best friend asked me to just do this to get her off his back.
Apparently, the guy she wanted to set me up with was her coworker’s brother.
He was a young widower and a solid guy.
I reluctantly agreed, and she gave him my number.
This guy called me, and we talked.
We had three more conversations over the phone, but he still didn’t ask me out.
He said he was waiting.
“You could have knocked me over with a feather after he said that.
I noped out of that conversation ASAP and told him he should wait a while to date.
I was sooo mad at my best friend and told him his girlfriend could fuck off.”
u/Roo514
3.
“I had a guy I was seeing for a few days over for a movie night.
While he was over, my neighbor was stabbed in the throat by his husband.
My date held pressure on his neck until he was taken to the hospital.
Then, the husband got into a two-hour stand-off with the cops.
I warned him I lived in a rough neighborhood, lol.”
u/Alt_Daddy8
4.
Weve been friends since 2009.
I’ve told him no, repeatedly.
This friend and I hit it off, and we decided to meet up for drinks the following weekend.
Well, the friend told Z, and he freaked out on both of us.
He was in the middle of a pool game, so who knows how long he had been spying.
Z then interjected himself into our date for the rest of the night and wouldnt leave.
So, I left.”
u/Captn_Insanso
5.
“Went on a first date with a guy from my college.
We ended up going to Chilis for dinner.
I was mortified and said I would have paid if money were an issue.
He just laughed and kept driving.
Awful experience and awful person.”
u/sunshine_smile_
6.
So, one right swipe later, I was meeting this French guy at a bar for a date.
I arrived, and I couldn’t find him until (conveniently) Id finished paying for my beer.
There was a jazz band playing, and I asked if we could sit close to them.
But against my better judgment, we sat in some corner.
Judging by his reaction to people recognizing him, I thought he could be some sort of musical superstar.
And I would use my lips to suck and blow.
I could use my lips better, and I loved to suck and blow.'
But I just stared silently, speechless.
And that’s when he told me that he was a famous harmonica player.
He said it with the intention of it being sexual and kept on repeating that he was famous.
Now, dont get me wrong harmonicas are lovely.
BUT BRO, youre not playing it in Willie Nelson songs or some shit.
Literally, no one knows who you are.
WTF kind of harmonica player doesnt carry their harmonica around?
I screamed internally but told him that it was my bedtime.
I grabbed my coat and left, truly baffled.
I obviously never talked to him again, as he legit terrified me.
But I keep the card for proof that this event actually occurred.”
u/cute_milkdud
7.
“In casual conversation, my date talked about her roommate a lot.
No problem, it was a normal conversation topic.
The drinks start flowing, though, and I hear more and more about the roommate.
They were, like…really close.
u/bk_321
8.
He showed up in sweatpants.
I definitely wasnt drunk enough for what was about to ensue.
I was truly trying to make conversation, but EVERY answer he gave was about football.
He said he was on the team (a Google search later on proved that to be false).
I asked him what he did for fun?
What other hobbies he had?
Working out after football practice.
Does he enjoy any games or anything?
“He also took a phone call in the middle of the date.
We left shortly after.
He insisted on walking me home.
When we got to my apartment building, he went in for a hug.
You cant be serious right now.
I said, ‘Maybe next time!’
“I was out on my first date since breaking up with my ex about five months before.
We went for pizza, were escorted to the table, and sat down.
My ex was sitting at the table next to us.
Anyway, we arranged a date for a week later.
We had a lovely meal and a good time, after which she invited me back to hers.
We were drinking wine and messing about when I heard a bang from upstairs.
Immediately, I jumped up, thinking there was a burglar upstairs.
She said it was probably just her cat, so we got back to messing about.
All of a sudden, a kid walked downstairs, about 13 years old.
I was shocked, and when I looked at her, it was obvious he was hers.
I asked her, though, and she apologized for lying.
So, I explained to her that I had a kid and there was no need to lie.
Then, another two kids walked in, this time twins.
She’d gone from being childless to having four kids in the space of five minutes.
I told her enough was enough and got up to walk out.
As I was leaving, a bloke walked in with two more kids.
I just looked at her, and she slowly, embarrassingly nodded.
For those counting, that was now seven!
That was it; I was out like a shot and never saw her again!”
u/c0deye1982
11.
They wanted to kill it and venture to get in touch with the spirit world.
I wish I was kidding.”
u/LN3132
12.
We went on about six dates.
I even brought him to a work event.
Seems great, right?
He never asked meathing.
Eventually, I stopped asking him anything personal or even talking about myself.
He ignored me and just responded with something else not at all relevant.
I noticed at that moment that he wasn’t even listening to me.
You aren’t shy, you are a douche.
I was done.”
u/Bumbling_Bee3
13.
“My date turned up a foot shorter than he said he was and at least a decade older.
Making it all the worse were his tight white jeans.
Then, as he came in, he lunged at me to try and kiss me open-mouthed.
I dodged it and just left.
Got a text saying, ‘Was it the jeans??'”
u/KristinMartinezx
14.
“I bartend at this craft cocktail bar in my town.
It’s quite a nice place.
I gave her my number, and she left.
So we started chatting a bit more, and the conversation was fantastic.
We planned a date for that Thursday, met, and again, instantly, the vibe was immaculate.
I was like, ‘Wow, is this what it’s like to fall in love?’
She gets a phone call, and I see her holding back tears.
She said she had to go to the hospital.
I was worried sick about her, so I texted her the next day.
However, the message only registered as sent, not delivered or read.
Several months later, and there was no word or sight of her.
I’ve been ghosted before, but never anything likethat.”
u/OpossomMyPossom
15.
“She came to visit me in my city for a date over a few days.
u/shawnglade
16.
Some of the lines directed at me include, ‘She is way too far out of your league!’
‘You took her to a free comedy show?
Are you broke?’
‘Oh, you study Finance?
That’s boring; she shouldn’t have talked to you!’
and last but not least, ‘This relationship isn’t gonna last.’
Understandably, there wasn’t a second date.”
u/Jojoboy213
17.
It was my first date post-break-up, and she said yes!
I didnt know what to do, so I kind of smiled and nodded along.
Anyhow, thats when she started her sales pitch.
It was a pyramid scheme for energy drinks."
u/saucytopcheddar
18.
“My date ordered three bottles of wine at dinner.
I had maybe three glasses in total, which means she had nine glasses on her own.
When she tried to order a fourth bottle, the waiter cut her off.
She caused a scene and got us kicked out of the restaurant.
I called her an Uber, and while we were waiting, she pissed herself in the parking lot.
Finally got her into the backseat of her Uber and went home.
u/pm_me_your_taintt
19.
He listened to a Joe Rogan podcast about it once.”
u/Saphira_Brightscales
20.
That eight-month relationship left me an absolute shell of a human because of how terrible that man was.
I was hesitant but figured it’d been a long time, and I should give it another spin.
He even INTRODUCED ME TO HIS FAMILY and was planning future events and shit."
With the same 2+ year old pictures as when I first matched with him.
Dying alone seems better and better every day."
u/regularunleaded
21.
“I met a lovely girl over Tinder, and we really hit it off.
We had a great conversation and decided to meet in person for coffee the next day.
She showed up on time, looked just like her pictures…and brought her boyfriend.”
u/confettiicecream
22.
“I met a girl on Craigslist.
After a few messages, we set up a date at a bar downtown.
I showed up, and she was already there with a guy friend.
No biggie, I figured she was just playing it safe.
They were sitting at a two-person table, and the place was packed.
They already had drinks, so I grabbed one for myself and put it on my tab.
She and her friend then proceeded to ignore me the whole time.
Like, I’d say something, and neither one acknowledged it unless I asked a direct question.
Even then, I get one-word answers with attitude.
So, I finished my beer, paid my bill, and left without saying a word.
u/ConsciousRelation740
23.
“I met a girl on Tinder.
u/Strange-Food3048
24.
“I was going on dates with a woman I met off Bumble.
We went to dinner three times, and in-between dates, she and I had intimate convos.
She shared her journal entrees with me and thanked me for being there for her and listening.
On the third date, she asked me to be her best friend.”
Cue more awkward conversation.
We have been married for 37 years.
;)”
u/4ninawells
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
