“He started screaming at me and berating me, and I just broke down in tears.
I thought, ‘Oh my god, what have I done?'”
We opened the floor up to divorcedBuzzFeed Communitymembers and gave them a chance to share their own stories.
Here’s what they revealed:
1.
“Our wedding night.
He was gone for several hours.
Mind you, this was a very upscale hotel that would never have left used items in a trashcan.
The ex-girlfriend pretty much confirmed they slept together about a year into our marriage.
Our marriage was done after her admission.”
Anonymous
2.
“We were married for over 25 years and had two almost grown children.
We went through two bankruptcies and remortgaged our home three times.
I had to go out and take possession of my personal belongings.
Four months later, I left and never looked back.
It wasn’t easy, but it was well worth it.”
I was shocked to the core.
I felt like I was in our marriage alone."
“Surprisingly, not until the day he filed for divorce.
We had problems, but I always thought we would work things out.
I was diagnosed with lung cancer in late 2022.
I had never smoked in my life, so it came as a total shock.
He stood by my side and supported me during my surgery.
After surgery, I had chemo.
After I was done with my chemo, he dropped the bomb and said he was filing for divorce.
I asked him to hey go to marriage counseling with me.
He also brought up some disagreements we had several years ago that I didn’t even remember.”
Stress feeds cancer, so it was the worst thing.
This was also around the time my daughter was leaving for college.
It put a significant burden on her.
I am still heartbroken."
8.“Ugh.
I was young when I married a guy 10 years my senior.
I knew him from work.
He supervised a department of people and managed its budget.
Everyone loved him, including me.
It shocked and scared me.
I stayed, though.
Going through the divorce was awful.
He was very spiteful, and I learned later his attorney was about to let him go.
Needless to say, I’m relieved now and doing MUCH better.
Unfortunately, some people hide behind a facade until you’re deep in a relationship with them.”
“I figured it out on our honeymoon in Hawaii.
The worst was the last day when we went shark diving.
He started screaming at me and berating me, and I just broke down in tears.
I thought, ‘Oh my god, what have I done?’
We were together for two more years.
A lot more happened, but this was when I first realized it.”
“There were so many flags.
I knew all along (for about nine years) that he was the wrong guy.
He never once got up in the middle of the night to do a bottle feed.
He consistently disappeared and would go play hockey or baseball with his friends.
He’d come back six hours later drunk.
I had just had a full abdominal hysterectomy one week before this.
“It was a culmination of a lot of things.
He always hated that I had a social life with friends outside of him.
Sometimes, he would even invite himself, and my time with my friend felt ruined.
Our ideologies started to misalign.
He wouldn’t have a real conversation with me when we went on dates.
I felt lucky if he even looked up from his phone.
I paid for everything for him because he could not budget.
He worked out for a week and never did anything else again.
We had no physical relationship for three years.
We were together for 15 years, married for 10, and he forgot my birthday.
And my favorite part?
“My husband and I were going through infertility treatments.
I got pregnant but lost the baby.
That night, he played video games at a friend’s house.
Glad it’s you and not me.’
This should’ve been the ‘see ya later’ moment, but I stayed for another 12 years.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he retired from the military.
His retirement plan was to become a pro video game player.
I was promoted multiple times and bettered our lot.
I called it quits after 18 years.
I don’t know how I held out so long.”
“The day of the wedding.
I married my high school sweetheart after losing touch for 10 years or so.
We married at City Hall, and I cried both before and after the wedding.
Not tears of joy but of sadness because I somehow knew I should not be marrying him.
I realized he was the same person, but I had changed.
The marriage lasted less than two years, and then he left me.”
“I realized I married the wrong person on my 30th birthday.
We went to Las Vegas to celebrate with friends.
My BFF paid to have my hair and makeup done.
We spent hours in the salon.
When I asked him how he liked it, he said, ‘You look like a two-bit whore.’
I stayed for two more years.”
I should have known something was up when he insisted we rent a two-bedroom cabin.”
He was angry and said that I was ‘too self-absorbed’ to understand his suffering.
I knew then that he could not love or even care about me.
My life is sweet and peaceful now.
I called my husband and rushed myself to the ER.
“I had to sit all alone and bleeding in the waiting room for hours.
And that was pretty much the pattern in our marriage.
We divorced a few years later.
I actually stayed with him for 20 years (also for religious reasons).
He refused to go to marital counseling because I was the ‘crazy one.’
I now have a partner who cherishes me.”
“Early in our marriage, we shared an email account.
That is when I knew it was over.
I was well-respected in my field, and we had five children.
After 34 years, she divorced me and married a friend who she said ‘made her laugh.’
I feel truly loved and respected and am the happiest I have ever been!”
“It took me 18 years to connect the dots.
There were two big incidents.
My wife never got up from her chair.
She said she was ‘tickled pink’ when she lost her job and never got another one.
Lastly, she said she couldn’t care less if she ever had sex again.
And she was surprised I divorced her?!”
“I knew when he wanted to spend breakfast with another woman on our honeymoon.”
“We both worked until after 1:00 a.m. as musicians in Las Vegas.
My mother had the baby until I got off and brought her home.
My husband would stay out and not come home until about 5:00 a.m.
I would get up after a short nap to feed and play with our daughter.
Then, I realized we never had sex after her birth.
He would roll over or be too tired.
I offered therapy to get the romance back, but he refused.
I took our daughter and left.
He wound up with the girlfriend for about a year.
“My ex-wife got a huge, exciting job promotion.
I was ecstatic for her but couldn’t figure out why she was so on the fence about it.
Well, she wasn’t.
She thought I would catch on, and she was right.
“I had three complicated pregnancies.
The first one ended up in miscarriage, and my husband gave me zero support.
“I had a toddler girl and had just given birth to a baby boy.
I was exhausted from caring for a toddler and a newborn alone.
I told him that I had to wait six weeks to have intercourse.
He never trusted me and constantly accused me of being interested in other men.
He was regularly mentally and emotionally abusive.
He smiled and said blithely, ‘Nope!’
My heart sank, and at that moment, I knew it was over for me.
I had lived on hope, and hope had just died.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
