The thread promptly filled with nuggets of wisdom from people who learned these lessons the hard way.
Here’s what people shared:
1.
“Sometimes, attaining peace means letting go of people.
I was upset about it.
All I really needed was to be away from everyone.
I needed to find myself first.”
u/issydezz
2.
“Not everyone is thinking bad things about you.
Look into the spotlight effect.
u/TheLunarRaptor
3.
“The value of forgiveness.
It’s so good for you and a key mechanism for overcoming trauma.
u/Maximum_Tart_5224
4. u/mel9side
5.
“The most important relationship you’ll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself.
u/Sportkitized
6.
“The importance of setting boundaries and saying no.
People won’t love you more for sacrificing your own well-being to yo them.
I wish I had known that sooner.
It would’ve saved me from a lot of unnecessary stress and burnt-out moments.”
At 41, I’m starting to learn who I am and how to live my life.”
u/elerner
7.
“Not everyone is down for you like they say they are.”
u/sdgdhgdfhsdhfgh
8.
“Work-life balance is critical, and hustle culture is ridiculous.
u/GigabitISDN
9.
“you’ve got the option to feel alone with a roomful of people around you.
That is the biggest lesson I learned in my 30s.
The lesson I gleaned from it was to be my own best friend.
Also, when you enjoy yourself by yourself, people will gravitate to you.
I have a friend who is learning this lesson several years after divorce.
She cannot function without someone always entertaining her in her free time after work.
It is exhausting for those in her circle without good boundary control.
u/anda3rd
10.
“Choose optimistic friends and interact/communicate with them as much as possible.
Having friends that offer the bright side can hugely influence how you carry yourself and respond to adversity.”
u/mariospeedragon
11.
In Western culture, growing up is a choice, not a necessity.
Many people never choose to emotionally and intellectually mature.”
u/mpworth
12.
“Many high-paid executives aren’t in that position because they’re the most successful ones in the room.
They’re in that position because they prioritized their career at the expense of everything else.
Some people are so poor that all they have is money.”
u/TheDadThatGrills
13.
“Trust patterns of people’s behavior.
Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.”
u/Cortical_Depression9
“But, show some grace.
People grow and change.”
u/jpsc949
14. u/Rodfather23
15.
It will only make you resent those people.”
u/Unlikely_Couple1590
16.
“Learn to love reading.
Just read a book a month.”
u/phantasybm
17.
“You don’t have to like everyone and everyone doesn’t need to like you.
Sometimes, it’s best for everyone to go their separate ways.
Wish them well regardless.”
u/Llyotron
18.
“Learn to allow the anger to pass and not to act in the heat of things.
Takes only a few minutes.
Then, construct a well-reasoned response, and often, that response is to do nothing at all.”
u/DartosMD
19.
“Stop looking for the good in people.
Start, instead, looking for good people.”
u/MissOohAustralia
20.
I threw myself into them, and my partners loved how dedicated and caring I was.
Still, it never felt reciprocated to me because I could never accept or be vulnerable with anyone.
I am trying now, but it’s very difficult and I don’t know how.
u/weirwoodheart
21.
“you could’t help everyone.
u/CelebrationHot5209
22.
“It’s okay to say no.
You don’t need to be a doormat.
Don’t make yourself miserable to make others comfortable.”
u/Vanity-della23
23.
But, once you know when to react or retract, life flows much more smoothly.”
u/roxywalker
24.
“Overthinking and creating imaginary scenarios in your head causes nothing but problems.
Take things as they come and live life in the moment.”
u/squishypenguin24
25.
“Not all people who are friendly with you are your friend.”
u/ryltea
26.
“Someone can love you and still not be good for you.”
u/malackey
27. u/PirLibTao
28.And: “It’s okay to be alone for a while.
Find happiness being alone and you’ll be able to find true happiness with another.
But not any sooner.
And remember, hurt people hurt people.
kindly take time to heal.
That nice guy/girl doesn’t deserve the backlash of the hurt you are feeling.”
u/konoe44
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
