“My ex lied and told everyone his mom died in 9/11 to get sympathy and attention.
He went so far as to get a Yankee tattoo on his neck to corroborate the story.
He is not from New York, he’s from Pennsylvania, and his mom is still alive.
I am pretty sure he’s never even been to New York.”
Here are some people who seriously, seriously dodged a bullet.
*
*We also included some responses fromthis Reddit thread.
Apparently, she was dying of cancer, and he had to take over care of the boy.
He even sent me pictures of the boy and said he had had a paternity test done.
Then he laid out an elaborate story detailing how the boy had never been his son.
The mother had borrowed the kid from her neighbor and made it all up.
At this time I stopped answering any of his messages and changed my phone number."
u/Brielyn
2.
“My ex-wife told me that her previous boyfriend was killed in a car wreck.
Naive me let her go to his funeral in Missouri.
u/intensenerd
3. u/weepatron
4.
“My ex lied and told everyone his mom died in 9/11 to get sympathy and attention.
He went so far as to get a Yankeetattooon his neck to corroborate the story.
He is not fromNew York, he’s from Pennsylvania, and his mom is still alive.
I am pretty sure he’s never even been to New York.”
l44172b2d2
5. u/Legos1118
6.
I then had four girls that day send me screenshots of him cheating.
Anonymous
7.
“I was with my ex for five years.
That was it; goodbye over text, I never saw him again.
He moved 5,000 km away to move in with her and her two children from previous relationships.
Got her pregnant within two weeks of meeting her in real life and moving in with her.
“I had an ex that was dating me and my sister at the same time.
Me and my sister were both dating someone, but we didn’t really talk about it.
When we found out, he just suggested a threesome.
“I thought I might be pregnant the week of Christmas.
We bought a pregnancy test, I peed on the stick, it came out negative.
Well, he was so excited, he saved it until his mother came home.
She jumped for joy and hugged him and said it was the best present ever.”
[deleted]
10.
‘That baby would grow up, and then it would want to ride my dad’s horses.
They’re MY horses!
No one else rides them!’
Needless to say, I got out of there…
Imagine my surprise when I get there, and her dad is there!
Then, after dessert as we’re waiting for our coffees, my ex excuses herself.
I was a bit dumbfounded.
My ex returns, and asks her daddy if everything went ok, and he nods.
She smiles happily and hugs him, and then tells me she hopes we can still be friends.
Then they offer me a brandy with my coffee.”
u/Urabutln
11.
“When I was about 14, me and my first girlfriend were experimenting with French kissing.
So we are kissing, without tongue, and then she says, ‘Okay, I’m ready.
1, 2, 3…’ and I went in.
She tasted like strawberries and gum, and her mouth was so warm and inviting.
Then she started to suck on my lip… She then bit.
Blood was spurting out of my mouth, gushing onto the floor and my clothes.
She had bit a hole clean through the skin below my lip.
And not a small hole.
She had ripped a hole that was about half an inch.
She just stood there, dumbfounded, and asked me if that was normal.
I, very calmly, screamed like a fuckinganimal.
Ah, memories.”
u/Darkstad
12.
“My ex showed up at my front door about five months after we had broken up.
He wanted to tell me about how he’s joined a group that solves Rubik’s cubes competitively.
He then quickly solved a cube in front of me and said, ‘Bam!
That’s what you’re missing, bitch.’
I truly had nothing to say in return and just stood in my doorway and watched him leave.”
u/Zanooka
13.
“I dated a guy whose ex-GF stalked us.
(They were broken up at the time.)
We always talked about how unhinged she was.
Ten years later, I found him on Facebook and discovered he married her.”
u/goodemily
14.
“My ex was so nasty.
I remember once he was spending the night at my apartment.
That morning, the corner in my bedroom was wet.
He seemed offended that I didnt find that hilarious.
I broke up with him.
That was, like, 20 years ago.”
“Had a going-away party before college.
Wonderful way to start college.”
u/ruthi
16.
“I had an ex that thought he was Shakespeare.
He then proceeded to caress my deltoid muscle and kiss it repeatedly.
I didn’t know what to do so I just laughed hysterically.
He ran out of the room crying.”
u/Stephoscope
17.
I was constantly being accused of cheating because the ‘hooded figures’ told him I was.
Campus police contacted me about the incident, but I chose to not have him kicked off campus.
I ended the relationship, and even a year later, he was still hacking my social media.
I mean, we broke up a year ago; I’m not cheating.”
He was cute and fun and really sweet I was infatuated.
I left for a few weeks to visit my parents in WV.
When I got back, he was just gone, and nobody seemed to know where he was.
So then I knew that’s where he’d been (and apparently still was).”
“My ex would tell anyone and everyone I was bipolar.
When that didn’t work, he wanted to have me locked away in a mental hospital.
Which eventually led to an involuntary admittance for a few weeks.
My brother came and rescued me from that place and him.
And for the record, I am not bipolar.”
pullhandlesupnotout
20.
Last I was told, Im his profile picture on FB.
So yeah, Im definitely the stalker here.
Fun times, those exes are…"
maple18
21.
“My ex is from the 11th grade.
He clearly has mental health issues.
He talks a lot about theTerminatormovies and sends me long lists of various music and movies sorted by categories.
Like extremely looooooong lists.
(Maybe someone here knows something about this?
It’s clearly a side effect or symptom of something.)
I have never acknowledged or replied.”
renloveslemmy
22.
We worked side by side on a campaign for little over a year.
In the final haul of this strange relationship, we take a trip to see his grandma in Texas.
This guy starts messing around with the stuff in her center console.
Finds this little spray can called ‘spit fire.’
Thinking its his moms perfume (why did he want me to smell like his mom?
), HE SPRAYS ME WITH IT!!!
He maced me."
mirandarose64
23.
“Not me but my close friend.
She was madly in love with a handsome man.
He ended up stealing from her and disappeared.
He didn’t; he’s on death row in San Quentin.
Also scary was the fact that we spent a day boating with him and camped together overnight.”
“Dated a guy for a few months in high school who really wasnt very kind to me.
emgracemadison
25.
“I bought my ex-girlfriend a brand new Xbox 360 for Christmas.
She left me for a guy she met onCall of Duty.”
u/Uyersuyer
26.
Dodged a nuclear missile, imo.”
And no, it was not anonymous.
The sex was wild, but other issues going on led me to break up with her.
I never ran so hard in my life.
Haven’t heard from her since."
u/Krltplps
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
