“People always ask how the baby is doing, but they rarely ask how you are doing.”
Here’s what they said:
1.
“Breastfeeding is hard!
But no, just no.
Also, pumping is the absolute worst, IMO.”
“The immediate loss of autonomy was a shock.
I never expected to miss being able to do whatever or go wherever I wanted at any moment.
A quick trip to the store stopped being possible when I had my son.
Brunch with girlfriends has to be planned weeks in advance.
It was a surprising adjustment.”
charmanlovelaws
3.
“That your life begins to revolve around your babys naps.
That was a surprise to me.
Also all the sleep regressions and how difficult it is just to get a baby to sleep.”
Sometimes you plan for a vaginal birth, and it results in a cesarean no matter what you do!
Babies do not follow your plans!"
catharinedrettmann
5.
“I didnt understand howtiredI would feel.
Everyone tells you how you will be tired, and you make a run at mentally prepare for it.
But the tired I felt was a whole new level of tired.
I was so tired and so emotional that I could barely form a sentence or a thought.
I felt stupid because I couldnt concentrate on anything.”
“I was truly surprised by so much, like how lonely, exhausting, and difficult postpartum is.
It’s one thing to prepare yourself for it and another to actually experience it.
No matter how much help you have, you’re going to be sleep-deprived.
Your hormones are raging, and you are bleeding for roughly six weeks.
But you are forever changed for good and bad.
It was all worth it in the end, but it was a lot.”
Anonymous
7.
“That sleep is not linear.
“I was surprised that I was not instantly enamored with my now-3-year-old girl.
I attribute this to postpartum depression coupled with having a baby in the thick of the pandemic.
I was not mentally prepared for either.
malloryu2
9.
“How much I miss my husband.
Yes, hes right here, and I see him every day…but I miss us time.
I miss snuggling on the couch and stress-free bedtimes where wed chat about the day.
“The feeling of isolation that comes with being a new mom.
There is no one else in your house that went through labor, delivery, and postpartum.
It was winter, and we didn’t have a car.
I struggled with feeling very alone.
My partner was great and tried his best, but I didn’t expect to feel so alone.
People always ask how the baby is doing, but they rarely ask how you are doing.”
“I was surprised at how literally everything changed in my life in both good and bad ways.
It’s almost hard to remember my life before him.”
“The biggest shock was how little freedom you have at first after having a baby.
There are no sick days and no spontaneous plans.
“I didnt know that I would lose all that luxurious hair that I kept during pregnancy!
Then I found out that’s totally normal.”
“I didn’t know that baby boys frequently pee as soon as you remove their diaper!
I think its a reflex to the cold air when you take the diaper off or something?
KittyMinkie
15.
“I got pregnant unexpectedly six months into dating someone.
She asked me, ‘You dont mind being an afterthought?’
And no, surprisingly, I dont.
Everything I do from this point forward has him in mind, and its been amazing.
Its a long game.”
“The noises that babies make while they are sleeping in the first few weeks.
No one tells you that the baby will be making constant cooing sounds and noises, even while sleeping.
It can be quite unnerving if you don’t realize that this will happen.”
“I wish I had more warning about the mental toll of breastfeeding.
I always thought breastfeeding would be such an easy, convenient, and natural thing.
The mental aspect is very hard.
I’m constantly wondering if I miss an evening pump, is my supply going to drop?
How hard will I have to work to build it back up if I even can?
emilyr4e79beea6
19.
“That breastfeeding wouldn’t be an option for me.
I have overwhelming guilt and shame that I couldn’t feed my son naturally.
My son would have starved!”
“The way that having a baby shifts your whole mindset and your outlook on life as a whole.
Now that I have a child, I budget very differently.
I make a run at make health-conscious choices when eating.
My husband and I are very careful not to argue in front of the kids.
Babies are sponges and will take a stab at mirror everything you do.”
“I knew about postpartum depression, but I did not realize that it can present as anxiety.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of control, c’mon advocate for yourself with your doctor.
“I got really ‘soft’ as far as what I can handle emotionally.
Now I can’t handle most of those things anymore, especially if they involve babies.
delorienaz
23.
“How everyone produces different amounts of breastmilk.
Also, expectations around the amount of breast milk produced in the first few days of birthing a child.
Some bodies have an abundance of breast milk, while some do not.
“I was shocked when I saw my son get an erection just before peeing.
I never knew baby boys got erections.”
pondameliap
25.
“I was amazed at how much I loved my daughter immediately.
It was (and still is after 14 years) such an intense feeling.
I mean, I knew I would love her and couldnt wait to meet her.
but the intensity of it took me by surprise.”
dellarock
27.
“How physically demanding it is to take care of a baby.
My back hurts me from leaning over to pick the baby up and from breastfeeding.
My shoulders are constantly tight from holding my baby.”
Ive found on the really hard days that it’s all about taking things second by second.
It passes sooner than you think, and you absolutely can do it even when you question it.
And its so ridiculously worth it.
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
