Reddit userBigbumcoolasked, “What often destroys relationships but is hardly talked about?”

Many people chimed in and shared what they consider silent killers in a relationship.

Here’s what they revealed:

1.

Man checks out a woman passing by while holding hands with his upset partner

“The assumption that once you love someone, you will never fall for anyone else again.

Some people might work like that, but most don’t.

Being in a committed, monogamous relationship means accepting that you won’t be able to pursue future crushes.

A shirtless man and a woman with curly hair lie back-to-back on a bed with light streaming through blinds casting striped shadows across them

u/KingJayVII

2.

“Deliberately trying to make your partner jealous.

No, it does not make us want you more.

A loving couple, one in a t-shirt and the other in a sweater, hold hands and smile, embracing in a cozy indoor setting adorned with a bicycle decoration

u/Few_Assignment3782

3.

“Different de-escalation techniques.

u/LadyAnarook

4.

Children running on grass, enjoying outdoor playtime

“Different sleeping habits.

u/hedgewitch1066

5.

“Ignoring and disrespecting your partner’s preferences, standards, and boundaries.

Person forming a heart shape with their hands, held up against an urban street backdrop

There’s only so much disrespect a person can take.”

u/BadTiger85

6.

“Lack of fun.

A couple embracing closely with foreheads touching, silhouetted against a sunset backdrop, creating an intimate and romantic scene

I know relationships aren’t always easy.

There’s work to do, baggage to deal with, real-life issues, and differing goals.

But dang, what’s the point of going through the motions once the fun stops?

A man consoles a woman seated on a bed, her face covered by her hands, appearing distressed

At such a point, you’re able to just do it solo.”

u/VergilHS

7.“Comprehension.

In my opinion, it’s important to be understood.

A woman sits on a couch looking concerned while a man in the background sits with his head in his hands, appearing distressed

u/Away-Rip-8005

8.

Sleep deprivation alone is enough to make anyone feel snappy.

If one of you gets significantly more sleep than the other, resentment can build up.

A man excitedly playing a video game sits next to a woman who appears bored and disinterested

Fortunately, my husband and I have been a team since day one and always split the night feeds.

u/DisneyBounder

9.

“The fear of missing out.

Close-up of a person with long, curly hair using a smartphone. Only their hands holding the phone and part of their torso are visible

All the while, they were living the life so many would kill to have.

Spoiler alert: Not one person I knew who did this didn’t seriously regret it.

They all agreed it absolutely was not worth it.”

Woman cooking in a modern kitchen while a man lies on the couch nearby. The setting is a bright, contemporary apartment. Names unknown

u/lockwire67

10.

“Lack of appreciation.

u/Exotic_Athlete_5858

11.

A man with tattoos is sitting in bed, wearing a tank top, and gesturing with his hand while talking to another man in a red shirt who is sitting at the edge of the bed

“Not assuming positive intent.

The people closest to you don’t want to hurt you.

u/Sea_Client9991

12.

A person with a backpack reaches out to help someone up a hill, holding their hand

“Loss of attraction and excitement over each other’s bodies.

There’s so much focus and discussion about communication and so on.

It keeps hurting for years after because you abandoned your best friend.”

u/str85

13.

“One factor that often destroys relationships but is rarely discussed is a lack of emotional intimacy.

u/FoxyandSexy

14. u/Rough_Program_9358

15.

“Losing who either of you are.

Then, they realize they aren’t being true to themselves.

That’s why partners need time apart from each other and activities to do for themselves.

I believe that’s also where many midlife crises stem from.”

u/touchytypist

16.

“Beating around the bush and making the other read between the lines.

Just say it.”

u/JustAnEcho416

17.

“One of the biggest relationship destroyers we hardly talk about is complacency.

u/Early-Welder1933

18.

“Spending too much time together.

It’s unhealthy not to have separate friends and hobbies.

Time apart is important!”

u/thickboomira

19.

“Lack of motivation.

Couples should always set goals and constantly seek to work towards something.

The relationship will plateau without it, and you’ll eventually drift apart.”

u/Ok_Fisherman8727

20.

“Unspoken expectations, emotional invalidation, and digital distractions can subtly erode relationships over time.”

u/GraceTempt

21.

“Poor health and bad habits.

People who don’t take care of themselves also don’t take care of their mind or their surroundings.

u/RadioIsMyFriend

22.

“Thinking chores are only one person’s responsibility.

And people wonder why their partner stops initiating sex or intimacy.”

u/CompotePristine2121

23.

“Focusing on being right and winning the argument instead of solving the problem together.”

u/Fookin_Elle

24.

I’d rather hear a difficult truth than find out about a dishonest account of things.”

u/Niolic7

25.

“I think a mistake some people make is communicating without a plan, too.

If I’m frustrated with something my S.O.

does and I blurt out, ‘Stop doing that!

It’s annoying me!’

that’s not a very good way to communicate.

If something bothers me, I have a go at be open with my S.O.

u/crewserbattle

26.

“Lack of reciprocity.

Actions speak louder than words.

Showing someone you appreciate them is even more important than saying it.”

u/ZenythhtyneZ

27.

“Involving others, unnecessarily, in personal matters within the relationship.”

u/mrseand

28.And: “Regarding long-term relationships: priority and values.

Suppose one person prioritizes their career while the other prioritizes the community they live in.

In that case, that can cause conflict if a better job opportunity arises in a different city.

These aren’t dealbreakers and could most likely be addressed with communication, understanding, and compromise.

u/Spledidlife

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.