What if one day theres regret about the decision to not have kids?
Financial worries only compound that anxiety.
Manymillennials and Gen Zers say they are forgoing parenthoodat least in part because they cant afford to have kids.
(The average cost ofchild carealone is estimated tobe $9,051 per year.)
to youvenever known true/real loveuntil youve had a child.
We talked to four women and one man who are dealing with parenthood indecision.
Below are their stories, edited lightly for clarity and length.
1.I have genuine fear over what kind of a world Id bring a child into.
Concerns about the cost of living, climate change, and COVID-19 are top of mind, too.
They are identical twin boys with autism.
Still, she also wonders if she and her partner could be happier with children.
Throughout all this indecision, shes lucky shes had her mom in her corner.
Shell tell me, The whole fucking world is gonna pressure you to have kids.
Im always gonna be the one person who tells you you dont have to, she said.
That kind of support is invaluable.
If I did, I would feel guilty for not dedicating enough time to my family.
Judgment from others factor in, too.
I remember being excited about that and thinking about how I would be as a parent, he said.
Deciding not to have kids should be celebrated, too.
If the right partner comes along, Im almost certain that I would want to have a child.
Shes considered freezing her eggs but hasnt quite crossed that bridge yet.
When she is ready, shell discuss it with her gynecologist or primary care doctor.
But then, considering a future version of herself without a child, wondering what if?
feels imposing and unsettling, too.
Knowing Im getting older, knowing I cant have kids forever, it definitely puts pressure on things.
We dont need more parents in this world who wish they werent or who are resentful of their children.
Deciding not to have kids should be celebrated, too.
Theres the entire shift after the baby has arrived.
There is somebody who exists that will always need you more.
Now dating and 30, Dyson told HuffPost shes not so sure.
Given the horror stories shes heard about giving birth from her friends, Dyson also has some fear aboutthatprocess.
(Did you know theres actually a name for fear of giving birth?
She also has financial worries familiar to so many millennials and Gen Xers putting off having a baby.
Without paid leave or subsidized child care, Dyson doesnt think society is even set up to encourage parenting.
Most people are projecting their own feelings, wants, and fears onto the other person, she said.
If it doesnt [happen], I know my life will remain fulfilling.
I like that about my life.
Id honestly had an age I expected to have children: 27, she said.
Since then, so much has changed.
Im 37 now, so Im ten years late, she said.
Then, there are the things specific to her.
I am married, and we both have on-the-go careers.
Writing at coffee shops.
Being able to go on a whim, she added.
Thats especially true when you are married, Coleman said.
If it happens at this point, there will be nothing that can stop that.
If it doesnt, I know my life will remain fulfilling.
Theres a common cultural belief that not having your own children means a life devoid of joy.
As for getting older without assistance.
Coleman isnt too worried about that.
A life of love and community can provide what you need when that time comes, too.
This post originally appeared onHuffPost.
