Expecto to crack up reading these.
We’re in love withHarry Potterjokes and puns it’s hard not to be!
We grew up with the series, and the nostalgia factor just isn’t going anywhere.
Here’s a roundup of the bestHarry Potterjokes, sourced fromReddit.
They’ll even give ~muggles~ a chuckle.
“What bang out of drink does Snape hate the most?
“Why can’t Harry tell the difference between a cooking pot and hisbest friend?
Because they’re both cauldron.”
u/Butterflylvr1
3.
“So,Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
I guess that’s when the books started getting…dead Sirius.”
u/Sasstiel
4.
“How do the Malfoys enter a building?
u/glowintoyou
5.
“How do you know if a potion is good?
You check its hex-piration date!”
u/HereForTheJokes-13
6.
“Why did Snape teach Potions and not Herbology?
Because he cant keep a lily alive.”
u/katienic
7.
“Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad teacher?
Because he cant control his pupils.”
u/Ashleeeeh_
8.
“One day Lupin decides to come clean with Harry.
He sits him down and tells him, ‘Harry, I’m a werewolf.’
Harry jumps up and starts shouting, ‘WHAT!?
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?’
Lupin sighs, hangs his head, and mumbles, ‘Ah yes, that, too.'”
u/LolaTrixie
9.
“What fuel does Harry Potter put in his car?
@Grargemeister
10.
“Why doesn’t Snape own a barbecue?
Because he roasts his food verbally.”
“Voldemort’s parents took the ‘I got your nose’ game a bit too seriously.”
u/mq999
12.
“How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?
@TheHPfacts
13.
“How do you get a mythical creature into your house?
Through the Gryffindor!”
u/Blade_Omega
14.
“Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody.”
u/Sylren
15.
“What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
@pinchingbumms7
16.
“What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.”
@CaptGGstache
17.
“Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.”
u/aWildPig
18.
“What did Voldemort tell Wormtail when they went bowling?
Kill the spare.”
u/lawlesskenny
19.
“Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you’ll never know which side he’s on.”
u/grey_sun
20.
“Why did Hermione Granger carry a time-turner with her everywhere she went?
Because she was always running late for her Ron-dezvous!”
“Where did Dumbledore keep his army?
Up his sleevey.”
u/LukeSA
22.
“On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?
About nine and three quarters.”
u/anonymous
23.
“Harry Potter is sliding down a hill… J.K. “What do you call a toilet with fur?
A Harry Potter.”
u/Mrjarbuckle
25.
The Weasley twins.”
u/TylerEffinGohde
26.
“Why was Draco really loud in bed?
So that his father would hear about it.”
“Why did Professor Snape stand in line at the bookstore?
He heard they were having a sale on half-blood prints.”
“Why does Neville need three seats on a bus?
He has a Longbottom.”
u/NerdOfZoology
29.
“What did Harry tell the Dementor?
‘You’re Riddikulus!'”
“Why shouldn’t one marry James Potter?
He’s a Chaser, not a Keeper.”
u/Gifted_GardenSnail
31.
“Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook?
Because he has only followers, not friends.”
“Why should Malfoy be a part of every Quidditch team?
He’d make an excellent snitch.”
u/white-dumbledore
33.
“Why doesnt Firenze go to parties?
He doesnt want to be the centaur of attention.”
“I liked all the characters, but Sir Nicholas was poorly executed.”
u/Fluid-Flounder8450
35.
“On a scale from one to ten, I’d rate Harry Potter a 9 and 3/4.”
This article contains content from Michele Bird, Casey Rackham, and Andy Golder.
