This was his opening line."
and the answers made me fear the state of modern dating.
“A picture of him lying on his bed with his three cats gathered lovingly around his boner.”
u/achalkyundertaste
2.
“‘Is the downstairs ginger too?’
Not even a hello first.
Just straight into pubic research.”
u/MrsCosmopilite
3.
“‘I was three feet away from you today, and you didn’t even know it.’
I blocked him.)”
u/FedExorcism
4. u/vftgurl123
5.
“Some guy was asking me to hook up.
u/0mondo
6.
Like damn, dude.
That was unnecessary…but also which ones sucked?? "
u/bekah1701
7.
“Just a dick pic.
I replied, ‘leading with your shortcomings is a bold choice.'”
u/iaspiretobeclever
8.
All because in that time frame while I was looking through his profile I didn’t answer.
I’ve never seen someone switch up so fast…it was actually scary.
All I said was, ‘Yeah, you sure are a nice guy, huh?”
“I did not swipe right on this dude.
I thought this would go without saying.
On some dating apps, you could message anyone.”
u/Vegetable-Day5989
9. u/tightgoddess_
10.
“‘Looking for some fun, those melons look sweet.
Nip reveal?'”
u/ladyLucia00
11.
This was his opening line."
u/feverhunt
12.
“Are you down to choke on this small white dick?”
u/ChibiSailorMercury
13.
“‘Your eyes are so pretty, I want to gouge them out with a spoon.’
u/bznnii
14.
“‘I have a Dom personality due to having an abusive childhood.’
No hello, no small talk, just this.
Never noped out quicker.”
u/sunrae_
15.
“‘How pink is it?'”
u/drowsytonks
16.
“He typed hello…and then made a video call that I made the mistake of answering.
All I saw was a dick being jerked off.
I blocked him.”
He phoned me from a different number to shout and swear at me.”
u/83Moonchild
17. u/No-Cover7141
18. u/odimarty
19.
“‘You seem fertile.’
"
u/One-Yogurtcloset2138
20.
“I have a small collection of vintage prescription eyewear that I use daily.
u/cmissfit
21.
“‘You look like my dead wife, kinda.
What’s your cup size?'”
u/miletharil
22.
So, being a wise-ass I am, I told him I’m actually a hideous beast.
He said back, ‘I don’t even know how to reply to that.’
And I unmatched.”
u/GreekGoddessOfNight
23.
“As an East Asian woman, one guy sent a DM just saying ‘yellow fever.’
"
u/GunnerT1
24.
‘Would you wear high heels and film yourself stamping a crab to death?
Like that’s better???!
u/Fly-the-peacock
25.
My ears are not even big.
I am not embarrassed by them at all.”
u/lucy_pevensie
26.
“‘Would you be willing to pretend you’re a bird?
Because I’ve got a little worm for you.'”
u/theworldneedsyou
27.
“‘Good morning BIG BOOBS.’
Note: there were no pictures of my boobs (or body generally) in the profile.
And that was his capitalization.”
u/beastmasterlady
28.
“‘We could make some beautiful blue-eyed Asian babies.’
He was not Asian, and neither am I, but he apparently thought otherwise.
Either way, a wildly inappropriate thing to say.”
u/jannabjones
29.
“I had a guy give a shot to correct me on what my favorite video game was.
There have been a ton of cringey openers, but that always stuck out to me.
The gatekeeping guys are the worst.
I almost want to match with them to tell them off, but it’s not worth it.”
u/drewberryblueberry
30. u/marska77
31.
“‘I like Asians.’
‘I like not to be fetishized.’
I laughed, showed all my friends the message, and then blocked him.”
u/CutieBoBootie
32.
“‘You look like my next ex-wife.’
Kinda made me laugh, but starting out with a negative does not work for me.
My 14-year old daughter suggested my response: ‘You look like my next ATM.'”
u/mustbethedragon
33.
“‘I will convince you that having children is actually a really bad idea.’
My profile said I want kids; his said he didn’t.
Respectfully, just fuck off.”
u/sharkweekiseveryweek
35.Similarly…"‘I bet your farts taste delicious.'”
u/hiswifenotyours
36.
“Dude started with, ‘I want to wear your skin.’
And I unmatched immediately.”
u/strawberryyogurt_
37.
“That I look like Nicolas Cage, lol.”
“She ended up being very cool, very hot, very smart.
Been together nine years now.”
u/407407407407407
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
