If you’re always putting others before yourself, this is for you.

Youve probably heard a friend or family member utter the phrase Im a people-pleaser.

Maybe you identify as one yourself.

Two people sitting on a couch and having a conversation. One person is writing in a notebook, and the other is gesturing with their hands while speaking

Or youve likelyseen postsabout iton social media.

There is some sort of a link to family culture in childhood.

This could mean that children were loved or praised only when doing things for others, Riaz said.

Two people standing face-to-face on opposite sides of a yellow line, each showing only their shoes. One pair of shoes is black, and the other is white

Its extremely difficult to be a people-pleaser.

Additionally, people-pleasing is an embedded behavior, Moore said.

Stopping it isnt as easy as just saying no to extra work or a dinner party invitation.

Person sitting pensively on a sofa, wearing a casual, relaxed outfit, with a hand on their forehead, and a plant in the background

In fact, therapists say there are specific issues that people-pleasers commonly work through in therapy.

Heres what they are, and how to deal if they sound familiar:

1.

And usually that leads us to a conversation on appropriate boundaries.

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Setting boundaries is a huge and really important priority for people-pleasers to focus on, Watson said.

Guilt is the glue that holds people-pleasing together.

I feel guilty that I made my friend feel a bad emotion, Moore said.

A person stands in shadow, looking contemplatively to the side. The light casts dramatic lines on the wall, enhancing the introspective mood

The reason why guilt holds people-pleasing together is really the avoidance of feeling guilty.

If this sounds like you, dont be discouraged.

You certainly arent alone.

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It might be really difficult to bring up a differences of opinion if youre a people-pleaser.

People-pleasers often dont know how to express their emotions without feeling like theyre being mean.

Now I have [fewer] friends or now my co-worker doesnt talk to me anymore and ignores me.

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… How do we emotionally deal with that?

I want to help my client set standards within their relationships, Moore said.

And it might be time to adjust your expectations and standards for certain relationships in your life.

A woman in a striped off-shoulder dress stands by a window with closed eyes, appearing relaxed and serene

You should only hold people to an expectation thats realistic based on their past behavior, Moore added.

If this person never comes to your birthday, then maybe its time to stop planning their birthday.

To work on this, Watson said that its important to prioritize realistic self-care.

What do you value?

What do you care about?

What matters to you?

It is positioned as something that you shouldnt do.

What does it mean to offer mutuality?

So, showing up mutually for others and reciprocity … this balance of give and take, Watson added.

Sometimes people-pleasing is not a problem, but a path forward.

It doesnt have to be all or nothing.

A balance does exist.This article originally appeared onHuffPost.