“Unfortunately, it’s a dirty, dirty business where almost anything can go wrong.”
Here’s what they revealed:
1.
“I asked a friend about this once.
He said how many people come in peacefully together.
Both spouses just want the divorce and to move on.
Apparently, it happens quite a bit.
He said one couple collectively sent him a Christmas basket one year after their divorce.
Basically, they wanted out, and he helped navigate its legalities, and everyone was happy.”
u/FormalChicken
2.
“Your dog is not special.
Yes, I know you love the dog.
So does your soon-to-be ex.
No, the court will not order that you share joint custody of the dog.
No, I will not file a motion demanding that you get to keep the dog.
I don’t care that you were the one who walked the dog, and neither does the judge.
It’s a dog.
Rational people do not spend $400 an hour in attorney fees fighting over a dog.
You and your soon-to-be ex will both look like morons in court.
Dogs are property, not children.
Yes, even your dog.”
u/Karissa36
3.
Besides, you’re the one who married him.'"
u/Gasonfires
4.
“That the judge in their case is incompetent.
I work in nonprofit family law and use volunteer attorneys, so I see clients and volunteers.
Side note: These are attorneys who do not work in family law.
Similarly, I hear a lot about how terrible opposing counsel was.
They are over the moon if they get a fair custody and support order.”
u/MrsMayberry
5.
“My mom’s a divorce lawyer, so I asked her.
u/AJewishPlumber
6.
Cheating is incredibly common.
My standard reply of, ‘Yes, I understand.
Yes, I have seen hundreds of pictures and thousands of text messages.
This is the worst thing that has ever happened!’
Trust me, I understand.
You are coming to see me on your worst day ever.
u/call_me_darling_xo
7.
“All my clients think they can do my job.
All my clients think their case should last as long as an episode ofLaw & Order.
u/Brichigan
8.
“This is from my mother, who is a divorce attorney.
She says all her clients underestimate how conniving the other spouse will be.
They are always shocked when their ex empties out the bank accounts and changes the locks.
My mother says this happens in most divorce cases.”
u/RAVENMADSAINTSFAN
9.
“I work for a divorce attorney.
It’s not surprising that estranged partners stop paying for things.
Financial issues are the most common reason for divorce in the US.
Add ill will to the equation, and it’s inevitable.”
u/Big_Pink
10.
“I am a family law attorney.
About half of my clients tell me that their soon-to-be ex will agree to everything.
Yeah, that’s never happened.
u/brisa117
11.
“I often hear, ‘You don’t know.
He knows a lot of important people and can hide his money anywhere.’
u/jordo_baggins
12.
“I’m a legal assistant for a family law attorney.
No, it’s not going to get you more spousal support.
No, it won’t get you a bigger share of custody.
The judge might think they’re an a-hole, but that’s about it.”
“Clients also seem to think that things should be happening overnight.
The courts don’t work like that.
When we file, it takes at the very least a month to get a court date.
Then, the judge may or may not make orders at that hearing, depending on the circumstances.
Unless it’s an emergency situation, it takes a while for these things to happen.
I have so many clients who call me every day wanting an update on their case.
The one that irritates me the most is the clients who call regarding disputes they have about their bills.
‘Are you going to charge me for this phone call?’
Why yes, yes I am.
We charge for all our work on your case, including the phone calls I get from you daily.
Yes, completing the paperwork you wanted for the hearing took me two hours.
u/ermahgerdsterderner
13. u/TheKetchupG
14.
“I’ve done divorce and family law for over 25 years.
Unfortunately, it’s a dirty, dirty business where almost anything can go wrong.
People are remarkably clever in finding new and novel ways to make life miserable for their ex-spouses.”
u/Bguano
15.
“Wisconsin is a no-fault state.
u/Inconspicuously_here
16.
“I’m a family attorney who is graciously leaving that area.
Everything is practically the same.
Money, kids, earnings, allegations nothing is unique.
Do you know what a good attorney does if he finds himself in a legal predicament?
You’re paying for his experience in the system.
Almost guaranteed, if you go to trial, you will leave with less than you hoped for.
“We don’t want your case any longer than you do.
Most calls between attorneys start with, ‘What does your client want to do?’
followed by, ‘I’ve told my client this, but they want to do that.’
I have had countless hearings where we should settle everything, but one side won’t agree.
Congrats, that’s three hours of billable time.
Family law is like a weird office setting in most places.
It’s the same attorneys interacting with each other weekly or even daily.
Same with the judges.
I inform my clients to respect the other attorney and the entire court staff.
These are people with whom I have ongoing business relationships.
Don’t assume you are getting the shaft if you see the other attorney speaking with the judge.
They are likely social with the judge outside the courtroom, just like I am.
And just don’t call me.
If you have an emergency, talk to my assistant.
She will determine if it is an emergency.
It likely isn’t.
I will call you by the end of tomorrow.”
u/JCKDRPR
17. u/MelGibsons_taint
18.
In family law, we know the end result 90% of the time.
The code sets out exactly what people get.
The only time it varies is when there’s abuse.
Even then, we know mostly how the judge will rule.
No one is ‘special.’
u/Butrfly9
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
