I was pretty distraught with the whole thing."
“We also have a daughter (17F).
“My daughter still apologises for it but Ive told her its alright.
My daughter today gave me a Fathers Day gift which was a handwritten letter and a gift.”
My daughter seemed a bit shocked and she went to her room.
I think she was crying.”
You told her ‘it’s alright’.
If it’s not alright then why tf are you telling her it is?
Also, is it your daughter’s job to back up your marriage?
That’s a lot of pressure to put on your daughter.
But yeah, don’t say it’s okay if it’s not okay."
This was a no win situation."
u/Nervous_Explorer_898
“You say you told her its alright.
You say you moved on.
How do your actions live up to those words?
At least be honest with yourself (and then her).
Your CHILD was placed in an impossible situation by your wife.
Stop treating her like youre equal.
Youre supposed to be the adult here.”
I think a lot of people are disregarding your experience and feelings.
Its one thing to say happy Fathers Day and accept the gratitude.
But its perfectly fine to pause and maybe save the rest for another year."
What terrible weight, feeling like your parent’s marriage is in your hands.
ESH except for the poor teenager thrown into the middle of her parent’s marriage.
You owe your daughter an apology, OP."
You’re just traumatising her further at this point.
Cool down and apologise.
I’m sympathetic though.
Some therapy for you or both of you would probably be helpful."
Daughter is a grown-up and able to process what’s right and wrong.
What she did is clearly wrong.
You should still should be honest and say you’re still upset if you are."
u/PatternMinimum4214
My take?
The main person in the wrong is the ex-wife.
Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
