“When a person is like this, they will impact the entire household.”

What did you learn?"

people were vulnerable enough to share their stories.

A person lies on a couch talking to a therapist who is taking notes in a cozy, well-lit room

Here’s what they said below.

1.“Therapy.

I definitely had a part in our divorce.

A woman sits on a couch with her face in her hands, looking distressed. A man sits in the background with his arms crossed, looking away

Years later, I found a good, kind man who became my friend.

We slowly became romantically involved and then got married.

I am so happy to be with him every day.

A smiling woman poses confidently against a simple background. She is wearing a sleeveless green dress and bold red earrings

I still go to therapy weekly, and he goes every few weeks.”

“Im married again.

But its my path, and Im trying to walk it well.”

A man sits with his hands covering his face, appearing distressed, while a woman beside him gestures, seemingly arguing or expressing frustration

u/elizajaneredux

3.

“It took a few tries and the right therapists.

I finally realized that I needed to ‘fix my picker.’

Two people sit close together on a bed, looking away from each other with serious expressions

My now wife is beautiful, totally brilliant, but a classic ‘good girl.’

She is the straight-A student punch in with the emotional competence to consider others feelings first.

u/Utterlybored

5.

A couple, a man and woman, sit on a couch looking contemplative. The woman rests her chin on her hand while the man looks down

“I learned to stand up for myself.”

I grew in the 17 years between marriages.

I picked someone who was a partner who helped me find peace.

Man and woman engaged in a heated conversation in a bright indoor setting. The woman is gesturing with her hands

I own my shit.”

u/Djragamuffin77

7.

“Choose a person who doesnt have anger problems!

Im a kind, gentle person.

Im SO much happier also being married to a kind, gentle person now.”

“Don’t marry for potential.

Don’t let your partner marry for potential, either.

u/notproudortired

9.

I ended the marriage, gained custody of my child, and moved on.

Did I completely leave it behind?

I became more selective.

I eliminated many possibilities, and even small red flags were enough to keep me looking.

Unfortunately, I experienced two heartbreaking relationships between my marriages.

Not due to the partners themselves but because of their families.”

“I learned to stop being an asshole and to consider my wife’s needs and feelings.”

u/Altatori

11.

Those things will not change unless the person sees them as problems and actively works on those issues.

I was too patient for way too long and hoped he would work on himself.

Once I started therapy, I learned the person I needed to change was myself.

I’m now working on my exit plan.

Some things are just not compatible with a healthy relationship."

“I had a horrible, verbally abusive first marriage.

I had a horrible, verbally abusive rebound second marriage.

He could not have been in the military.

He could not have a temper.

He could not have or want children.

I was absolutely child-free by choice.

I tried being a stepmother, and that was a failure.

He could not drink.

I was absolutely gunshy of even casual drinkers.

He could not be religious.

I found that my list of ‘nevers’ was much more important in finding the right partner.

We’ve been together 35 years, so I was right.”

u/JanetInSpain

13.

“Don’t marry someone you wouldn’t go into business with.”