“People only change if THEY want to.
You either grow together or grow apart.”
Here are the eye-opening results:
1.
“Co-parenting is hard even in an amicable divorce.
And yeah, sometimes, it flat-out sucks.
But it’s so much better than forcing your kids to live in a household under siege.”
morrgaynne
2.
“There is no magic length of marriage where it becomes smooth sailing.
I got divorced after 24 years.
It’s for life that’s how long you have to make it work.”
j11th
3.
“Don’t believe marriage therapy can save a marriage.
Don’t believe marriage can change a person.
If their behavior is troubling you before you get married, walk away.
It will only get worse.
Pay attention to the red flags and your gut instincts.
Do not believe the Hollywood myths about ‘the one’ and that marriage is happily ever after.
Even my remaining married friends have said it is bloody hard work!!!”
You either grow together or grow apart."
lisapotts
4. intrepiddoc
5.
“That you both have to be willing to fight.
If one person is willing, and the other isnt, there really is no hope.
You cant make a person change their mind if theyve already decided to give up.”
5under
6.
“Your world should not be solely focused on them.
Have your own interests and do things separately in addition to having interests you share.
It helps with having a multitude of things to talk about.
see to it you both know how to handle household tasks and understand the full financial picture.
Bad things do happen unexpectedly, and you oughta be prepared.”
53, West Virginia
7.
“Marriage is a sign of maturity and should be the goal we are all working for.
Marriage is not admirable or enviable; it’s not an accomplishment.
It’s a choice, but not the ‘best’ or only choice.”
papaya2
8.
“Opposites attracting is a recipe for heartache, no matter how much chemistry there is.
Love does not overcome all.
Hold out for someone who truly ‘gets you.’
It matters in the long run, and isn’t that what marriage is all about?
You’ll know when it’s truly right.”
“Don’t settle just because they make your pulse race.
Otherwise, they will carry emotional scars with them and into their own relationships someday.
Model peace to them, however you have to do it.”
youbetcha
9.
“That there’s no shame in leaving somebody, especially if they’re treating you badly.
mitrofannorris
10. drigs
11.
“‘Never go to bed angry.’
Trust me, fights at 3 a.m. with a sleep-deprived brain aren’t healthy.
Feel free to go to bed angry, intending to solve things in the morning.”
elisabethefergusone
12.
“‘Happy wife, happy life.’
The truth is you must secure your own happiness before you might begin assisting anyone with their own happiness.
Instead of trying to make your partner happy, seek to understand where their unhappiness stems from.”
Anonymous, Colorado
13.
“That your late 20s or early 30s is the time or your only chance to get married.
46, Washington
14.
“Decision-making is much more complicated than you think.
Talk about that before you tie the knot.”
“Get into the weeds on those decisions beforehand.Because divorces can be complicated, too.
And those are also joint decisions, whether you think they are or not.”
40s, USA
15.
“You never REALLY know someone.
After 27 years with my husband, he left me for my son’s friend’s mother.
He gaslighted me over and over, causing me to question my sanity and reality.”
“To paraphrase Maya Angelou: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
If you think you are being lied to, dont doubt your own senses.
And dont expect them to ever tell the truth.
Once a liar, always a liar.”
65, Massachusetts
16.
“You MUST have an open and honest conversation before marrying someone.
You will share everything with this person for the rest of your life.
Do not kid yourself, and do not kid your partner.”
fabmeat46
And finally…
17.
55, Nevada
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
