“I thought the grass was greener and didn’t realize how great he was until I screwed up.
It was an emotional affair; I left him over it, and I crushed him.
It haunts me to this day, even though it has been 15 years.”
Warning: This post contains mentions of abuse.
Here’s what they had to say:
1.
“My ex-husband and I started dating when we were both 18.
We’re now 37 and talk now and then.
I can confidently say he was the best man I’ve ever been with after all these years.
I miss him and our relationship.”
It’s about more than that.
37, USA
2.
“I didnt ‘end’ my marriage, per se.
My wife left me because I was young and angry and abusive.
I cheated numerous times and was verbally and, at times, physically abusive.
“Those people are very rare.
40s, USA
3.
We never saw each other after the initial separation and are still going through a divorce.
If you think you communicate well now, venture to do so just a little bit more.”
30, California
4.
“My son was 9 years old when I chose to leave and divorce his father.
It’s almost like I’m being punished for not trying harder.
I worked in the fitness industry then, and I got a lot of male attention.
Instead of taking compliments and letting them go, I became obsessed with how men looked at me.
“I was unfaithful one time, and the guilt was so bad that I came clean.
If I could do it all again, I would try harder.
What I do know is I am single now and plan to stay that way.
It just isn’t worth the exhaustion and the heartbreak.”
53, New Hampshire
5.
I figured we would work through it and come out better on the other side.
He is a good man and father, and I still love him.
And I know he still loves me.
47, Washington
6.
“I would have gone to counseling and understood that my depression was eating at me.
I hate having to share custody and not be with my son every day.
I hate that I have these regrets.
I hate that I didn’t try harder and give him an opportunity to try.
“I would have stayed and worked on it with him so we could still be a family.
I miss my little family so very much.”
45, Texas
7.
“I had an amazing husband.
High school sweethearts who got it right.
Then there was menopause, financial troubles, and a few years of being empty nesters.
I lost a ton of weight and went back to school.
My best friend of 20 years tried to get through to me, but I didn’t listen.
I end up going online for curiosity and the thrill.
I got wrapped up in an affair, and my dear husband said he would forgive me.”
So, I now felt responsible for my affair guy.
His soon-to-be ex stalked him and was wild enough to key my car and follow my kids.
So, I ended up married to the affair guy.
My kids have never looked at me the same, and it all came out.
I lost my lifelong friends.
My ex has a third wife now.
She is a keeper.
I’m glad he is finally happy.
We even spent a long weekend with our current spouses, kids, and stepkids.
Me, I have finally gotten up the courage to leave my affair husband.”
53, Texas
8.
“We were married for 21 years.
I wish we would have tried some real counseling.
When we decided to divorce, we started getting along so much better.
“I’m always thinking, ‘What if we tried harder?
‘Obviously, I knew what divorce was, but its seriousness and finality somehow surprised me.”
50, Tennessee
9.
“My soon-to-be ex-husband and I have been together for 10 years.
We have two young children, and we ended our marriage in May.
I always thought anything could be solved as long as you communicate.
Due to financial reasons, we still have to live close to each other.
He’s in our house, and I’m on the driveway in a caravan.
I think it will be like this for a couple of years.
38, England
10.
“It was the quintessential grass is always greener.
I didn’t realize how great he was until I screwed up.
It was an emotional affair; I left him over it, and I crushed him.
It haunts me to this day, even though it has been 15 years.
He is a great guy and a great father.
59, Pennsylvania
11.
“I ended my marriage after 20 years.
He was just a boy that never grew up or emotionally matured.
He did everything I asked but secretly resented me for it.
I had three daughters when we met, and I thought he was the best choice for us.
“His response: ‘I’m still married to you, aren’t I?’
Cue divorce as fast as I can file for $150!
52, South Carolina
12.
Now, I’m the one who is heartbroken and hurting.”
35, USA
13.
“We married young and had our son less than a year later.
We didn’t really have a chance to be married, just the two of us.
I ended up having multiple affairs and leaving him for another man.
The grass was not greener (as everyone tried to tell me).
“I missed so many milestones in my son’s life, selfishly chasing my own happiness.
39, Michigan
14.
“I had an emotional affair and felt like I had irrevocably destroyed my marriage.
That was further confirmed when I started developing feelings for someone else.
I told my spouse about it immediately and felt we needed to separate because of it.
“We ended the marriage amicably, but now, there is a possibility we are getting back together.
And finally…
15.
“We were too young when we married and became more like siblings.
The divorce was amicable, and I’ve since remarried and have two kids I’d never give back.
46, Colorado
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
