“If you eat dark chocolate, just gone ahead and try doo-doo.”
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
my sim dropped out of college to be w her thief bf and now they homeless .
Just got invited to my friends 3rd baby shower omg girl use your butt!!!
8.
chappell roan and i wouldve walked the mile together
9.
Ngl farting was never funny too me .
Like its funny the room smell like sht now huh?
Normalize booing the DJ Im so serious
11.
Texting me “yo” is insane.
You cant host or drive …
I dont know what to tell you.pic.twitter.com/Oi2hSkawGZ
21.
Sit and watch my boyfriend take a showerhttps://t.co/rVli2r4CCd
22.
Hottest thing a man can be when you first meet him is visibly nervous
25.
This look like something you feed a pitbull on his birthdayhttps://t.co/7OWk8QNrwH
26.
Me after telling my friends to just cheatpic.twitter.com/A0jbXElq5x
27.
‘girlfriend of 9 yrs’ ….. id actually rather be shot point blank in the face
29.
I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.
30.
somebody set the chipotle on fire near mepic.twitter.com/XmxfSrAMTH
31.
Like, I really forgot for a sec that I did not give birth to her.
34.
pic.twitter.com/x0AMSIJhLk
35.
Lamb is such a delectable meat, apologies to Mary and her little one.
A septum piercing isnt a gay indicator like it used to be.
You gotta pierce something more random, like your eyelid or sumn
45.
Apple, if i unsend a message just let it be that.
the whole announcement is crazy
46. and she said I did.
49.
british paramore be like innit fun
50.
whatever dude.
Just watched someone ask a throuple which one is the boyfriend and which one is the fresh one?
IEKSKWKSKWOW HAHAHAHAHA
56.
Got into my Uber and hes goes ok were going to brooklyn?
Then he goes OH!
I saw you walking and I thought we were going to Brooklyn.
you see the vision.
Me looking at what’s about to turn into a missed call.pic.twitter.com/tyAXkOOHZn
73.
Being around ur parents is like damn im emotionally traumatized but im eating so good rn
74.
Say what you want about OJ but that was probably the last guy in the world named Orenthal
