Kids really have zero filter, bless ‘em.

3.The wishing convo:

I just told my daughter, Its 11:11 make a wish!

To which she replied, My wish is that you go to the eye doctor because its 11:17. and when I failed to take action he followed up patiently, “is 68 bigger than 65?”

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He is not going to come back!

She knows her brother likes to crack eggs for her.

She yell to him i need my little cracker boy!

Screenshot of a text exchange. First message: "I tricked a four year old into not wanting my Nutella by calling it 'hazelnut butter'." Second message: "Evil"

Me and my wife looked at each other and both said, your little cracker boy?

As the conversation went on I found out that Jeremy is her brain.

She named her brain Jeremy.

A social media post recounts a childhood memory where a family left an elevator out of embarrassment after a child told a man his head looks like a whistle

I said no way, that can’t be her name but my daughter has been adamant.

For almost a year we’ve been having this discussion.ANTOINETTE.

I just found out her name is Antoinette.

Tweet by ray "Today, one of my 3 y/o students told me that his dad died. I teared up and gave him extra attention. His dad came with a Happy Meal at pick-up."

That he was standing in.

LMAOYall parent every day?

I showed the kid and he gasped.

Meme with text: A pediatrician asks a 4-year-old patient, Aadi, if he has questions. Aadi asks, "Have you ever hanged upside down from the ceiling like a bat?"

Then in an awestruck voice he said, “I have a skeleton.”

She said she forgot to cry about her leg that day.

I tried but it didn’t open.Me : Oh it’s coz it has a child safety lock.

"daddy, you're ruining my life!"

Children can’t open it.

nephew looks at bottle in amazementNephew : How did it know I was a child?

You licked a puss.Me: [mutes TV] what9-year old: its so good.

"I don't want a brain"

You licked a puss.Me: …9-year old: [hands me a candle jar]Me.

“Me: “But your fingers…are not…markers?

“4yo (peak distress): “I said IF!”

"she accused my husband of cutting it while she wasn't looking"

"She goes 'cause I can and it feels nice'

A 7-year-old asks "Would you rather be a famous hockey player or be stuck in a Coke bottle?"

"Austin, pointing to a bag of frozen mangos"

Child asks tour guide if they've ever killed someone and are there bodies in the walls

Kid who kisses a person every day says that will keep the person alive, until one day they don't kiss the person and are surprised the person is alive

Kid afraid of growing up because he was scared to drink coffee

Kid asks someone if they have to put their tattoos on every day

Kid cries because he thinks the pope's funeral is Santa's funeral

Kid pretending to be a superhero who throws balls of itchy stuff at his enemies: "Hey, bad guy, look out! I got itchy balls"

Kid cries on Christmas Eve because a dead raccoon she saw in the road can't celebrate Christmas

A kid who didn't know the difference between a veteran and a veterinarian thanked the vet who put their dog down for her service

6-year-old asks their dad how long it takes to count to a million and then asks, "What if I start at 100?"

Toddler having a breakdown because they fart and apparently they were saving that fart for later

6-year-old reveals they put a screwdriver down the sink, which is why it's clogged up, as their parent is putting Drano down the sink

A child gets up after going to bed and asks if a duck is a predator

kid who puts salt in their cereal

Kid tells someone in a restaurant that her mother stole her dress from Target

A child says they always carry confetti for emergency celebrations