“I wish I’d known about this back in my 20s.”
Here’s what they had to say:
1.
“Bad money management skills.”
2.“Lying.
If you’re dating someone who lies, don’t ever think that trait will improve or vanish.
Lying is usually an ingrown habit that will never get better.”
u/ulysses61
3.
“Wants you to only spend time with them.
Pouts when you meet your siblings for lunch.
Slowly eliminates your time with friends.
u/kwaykai
4.
“In my personal dating experience, it was always the ones who worked fast.
They jumped into the relationship like we were getting married tomorrow.
Every single time, it always fizzled.
I prefer getting to know people gradually.”
“An obsession with vanity, with their looks.
People who are obsessed with how they look will also be obsessed with how you look.
Time passes, and even the most beautiful looks are destined to fade.
It’s who we are inside - not what we look like on the outside that truly matters.
Vanity alone cannot sustain.
It’s a sign of superficiality and a genuine red flag.”
u/snakebytexx
6.
Watch out… it does not get better.”
u/noplanetb1970
7.
“They put you down in small ways, then laugh and say they were kidding.
Trust me, it only gets worse.
attempt to recognize this behavior early on and walk away.
Its not you, its them.”
I should have run for the hills away from my ex-husband and one of my ex-boyfriends.
He treated his mother like she was his slave.
NEVER get into a relationship with anyone who doesn’t treat their parents well."
Because that means that if they push your boundaries, he won’t have your back.
He’ll just say they ‘mean well’ and you should ‘get over it.'"
u/rotatingruhnama
9.
“The most important red flag to be aware of is selfishness.
Being critical because you’re not living up to their selfish standards.
Minimizing your feelings.”
u/oldandoldschool
10.
Vice versa, if you sense that your partner is doing that to you, run."
Especially when it comes to weaknesses.
But that’s just another problem because tolerance has a limit.
u/justgetoffmylawn
12.
If they don’t respect boundaries early, they won’t respect them later."
u/positive-froyo-1732
13.
“If they cheated on a previous partner, they will probably cheat on the next one.”
“Ongoing cheapness with you, obviously but in other ways too.
Eating your groceries and not replacing them.
Showing up to friends’ houses empty-handed, expecting you to bring the wine.”
u/nevdot17
u/lsb316
16.
This sets up an insidious dynamic thats hard to reverse."
“A major one that took me a very long time to notice is that he never truly apologized.
u/msomnipotent
18.
“Bad kisser, bad at sex.
You might think he’ll get better at it, but he probably won’t.”
u/sabinelavine
19.
“Anyone who nitpicks the food you prepare.
You dont like the sauce?
You want it done another way next time?
Do it your own self.
“Talking bad about exes.
u/b00k-wyrm
21.
“Too many years too late, I learned the lesson: once is a pattern.
“These things happened to me.
I’d have left instead of tolerating years of abuse because ‘it won’t happen again.'”
u/janetinspain
22.And finally, “In our family, we call it the Misery Test.
A camping trip can force things a little, but a real pop-up situation is better.
Then, observe how the other person reacts and how they treat you and other people during it.
You’ll learn so much about their character.”
