“I was married for 35 years, and my husband just up and left one day.
I can’t describe how much that destroyed my world.
I regret spending so many years with someone who would do this.”
Here’s what they had to say:
1.
“How you aren’t treated like a real family unit anymore.
Why can’t a complete family just be me and my kiddo?
whitneyhortonbcba
2.
I worried I couldn’t handle it.
It didn’t help that other people seemed to doubt that I could, too.”
kimberlyy403bcd84b
3.
“I did not realize we still had such a ridiculous divorced/single mom stigma in 2024.
We’re really still over here shaming the parent who stayed, eh?
I think married couples feel like divorce is contagious too, it’s wild.”
“And the financial fallout is truly no joke either.”
shannonmiz
4.
“The first part of my struggles getting divorced was being a stay-at-home mom for 17 years.
He hid assets and earnings, and I received zero spousal support.
It was really hard for awhile.”
He was doing great while I was struggling with the fallout with our kids.
He wanted to be the Disney dad, not the one disciplining or helping the kids with their studies.
The imbalance was staggering."
freshdolphin591
5.
“That in cases of emotional abuse, it gets so much worse during the divorce process.”
icyflower151
6.
“That you’re grieving the end of your marriage and the future you envisioned.
You’re grieving some of your hopes and dreams.
“It feels like you lose everything at once, and it can be so overwhelming.”
kaylamoyer
7.
“One thing I never expected to feel was grief.
oldchinchilla78
8.
And while they supported my decision, I still did it alone.
cooldragon42
9.
If I could cut him off completely, I would!”
lizzyjo1590
10.
Divorce is won by whoever can afford their lawyer.
Hard job, less pay; I couldn’t afford to fight.”
caffie
11.
I underestimated how difficult it is to preserve through my busted-up thoughts and beliefs.
Sometimes, I felt like withdrawing my divorce petition just because it seemed like the easier path."
evilturkey994
12.
“Losing their (good) family members.
My ex has three nephews.
I was Auntie.”
39, California
13.
Instead, you stayed his friend and gossiped with him because it seemed harmless?"
“But you ‘totally support my decision.’
Cool, cool, cool.
playoutside
“How many people congratulated me when I finally admitted I left him.
modernscissors114
14.
“No one gets excited for you when you enter a new relationship.
Also, many people think I don’t take relationships seriously.”
“I’m very private about my private life now.”
bridgetmanthey
15.
“Every second weekend is lonely.
My three are at their dad’s house, and my friends are doing things with their families.
There’s no place for divorced women without kids in social circles.”
catmirfitt
16.
“Just taking the first step.
I knew my marriage was toxic, but I was too afraid of letting go.
I’m now divorced and very happy.
Plus, my credit score is excellent.”
dazzlingrockstar32
17. amymjorn
18.
It’s super awkward, and it feels like so much pressure.”
mxnikki
19. rlstahr
20.
“I wasn’t prepared to be treated differently by my own family.
When I left, a switch was flipped, and suddenly, my parents treated me completely differently.
‘My found family has meant the world to me.”
stephaniep461d11578
21.
“I got divorced in 2006 after my 40th birthday.
My husband had an affair, and the pain was so overwhelming I almost couldn’t breathe.
But the hardest part?
Still being in love even when I signed the papers.
We still even said, ‘I love you’ before hanging up.”
59 California
22.
I was married for 35 years, and my husband just up and left one day.
I can’t describe how much that destroyed my world.
I always thought we would be grandparents and grow old together.
I regret spending so many years with someone who would do this.”
59, USA
And finally…
23.
They simply do not.
I made friends with several divorced women at this time, and this was pretty consistent.
There are exceptions, of course.
People with very strong family support felt this to a lesser degree."
I haven’t figured out why, though.
Again, people with strong family support escape this, too."
bluepony34
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
