“We didnt need company or an audience, we needed help and compassion.”
They may come to the hospital to meet their new grandchild, or perhaps introductions happen over video chat.
In the emotional rush, sometimes grandparents do or say things that rub parents the wrong way.
Heres what they had to say.
Refusing to use the name the babys parents gave them.
Instead she would say That little boy or That little baby, as if he didnt have a name.
Maria Harris
2.
Being upset about not having been present at the birth.
We would have family come once we knew she was stable and ready for visitors.
Sure enough, she was taken to NICU minutes after birth.
We texted the family to let them know she had arrived and was healthy, all things considered.
My mother immediately called me, furious that she hadnt been present for the birth.
She argued that she had a right to be there and she would have stayed out of my way.
She screamed into the phone, Yes it is!
and then hung up on me.
She never apologized, and until the day she died believed I had greatly wronged her.
Lisa Nodarse
3.
Saying the family was less than prepared for another child.
All that judgment was awful.
Jami Heeringa-Trivelpiece
4.
Insinuating that a pregnant person has any control over the course of their labor.
I had a hard, 24-hour labor that eventually stalled out.
But it was disappointing, frustrating and painful without any reward.
I was sharing my feelings with my mother-in-law.
Her only response was Think about what you just put Jerry through!
(Jerry is my husband.)
I burst into tears and cried for three straight days until labor started again.
Samantha Haines
At least he doesnt look like a little alien, like other preemies.
Bethany Ann Barnhart, Tennessee
Mother-in-law: I hope she gets her dads nose.
So Yas
6.
Expressing disappointment over the babys sex.
Lor Raine
7.
Expecting to be catered to like a guest.
We havent spoken since.
I had twins and was learning how to nurse for the first time.
[They] expected to be waited on, cleaned up after.
Katie Hodge
8.
Doubting a new parents abilities.
I led a new mothers group in Chicago.
New moms are so vulnerable; this was heartbreaking.
Lisa Ellis Kappel
9.
Pretending nothing is different.
No How are you?
Katia Rodriguez
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length.
This post originally appeared onHuffPost.
