Somehow, we’ve only got about four months left in 2024 .
1.
its so funny to want a masters degree.
like relax
2.
Can you explain the gap in your resume?Sure are you familiar with not getting jobs?
3.
cancelled my therapy session to go meet the reason hahaha
4.
Why is everyone okay with the way Siobhan is pronounced?
Put on your slutty dress babe, we’re going to Chili’s
7.
A toddler in their why phase makes you realize how little you know.
8.
i cant take acid with ugly people ill start screaming
9.
Me: I hate this escape room.Mom: Stop calling the family reunion that.
Not mehttps://t.co/q8NcufQWsMpic.twitter.com/R9vME8e27y
14.
TSA asked me if the durag was religious I said Lowkey
17.
Telling parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.
Why did no one tell me you could go to jury duty dressed for a yoga class?
Because my dumbass showed up like Im on an episode of Scandal.
Me after spitting on it and using both handspic.twitter.com/yAYiKWsH9p
34. you were dumbhttps://t.co/CpksGZzfGv
35.
Apple, if i unsend a message just let it be that.
Lamb is such a delectable meat, apologies to Mary and her little one.
38.
being a new parent is so funny.
Me n my man but Im drunk hes highpic.twitter.com/f6gvBOe0LR
40.
Like, I really forgot for a sec that I did not give birth to her.
‘girlfriend of 9 yrs’ ….. id actually rather be shot point blank in the face
43.
Texting me “yo” is insane.
Im a fucking lady not one of your boys
49.
I love seeing art school kids struggle to hold their big ass drawings on their way to school.
That’s what you get for being gay.
Were bothwatching a filmweve BOTH neverseenBUTyour asking mequestionsss as ifIm the director???
I LOVE smoking with paranoid bitches like yes girl they are coming but we are stronger!!!
White ppl be like i wouldnt be opposed
59.
1st day as a poop coach.
Me: These drinks taste like juiceMe an hour laterpic.twitter.com/afGXUnaDzy
66.
pic.twitter.com/yZuS08au7Y
67.
Got my bidet all set uppic.twitter.com/Cqqp2VNVxm
75.
Really resonating with this close friends post from last yearpic.twitter.com/874AW3Vbs3
76.
Dudes that are 58 love saying Ill be there shortly like yea man we know
77.
(me with my alien) this is a chilis margarita you drink it
78.
Thats a suggestion ring, plshttps://t.co/MeSauARgW0
79.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS FOOD WITHOUT MY VIDEO ESSAY?pic.twitter.com/kiRBl9p2dF
80.
“you been pissin tonight, sir?
“me asf:pic.twitter.com/210IkyqJVA
87.
How about you develop some male pattern kindness
94.
MY BOYFRIEND YALLpic.twitter.com/xCoeiZaUwU
95.
People that eat yogurt need to relax.
Stop scraping the bottom 27 times.
Its blueberry yogurt not crack.
Lmao why would the Amazon driver throw my package at my door.
The delivery picture show the package still in the air
97.
I was fighting for my lifepic.twitter.com/SToqSBAXdQ
98.
My teen is taking the SAT today.
As we were walking out the door, I asked her if she needed a special pencil.
She looked at me and said We take it on computers.
The air hung quiet between us.
Its the first year she added If it makes you feel any better.
103.
me waking up the hamsters at the pet storepic.twitter.com/uMB4K1jSY2
104.
105.
pic.twitter.com/YMXqRP1UHe
106.
Baby they marry women they dont likehttps://t.co/GuvbBN9VQDpic.twitter.com/6uwPtmEgug
111.
He doesnt biteOh girl fuck you.
Get this beast away from me
112.
Turn those ig likes back on baby we know youre flopping and we love you for it !
120.
tHaNkS fOr YoUr pAyMeNt!Shut up.
I paid that bill against my will.
121.
god forbid i help sell hotdogs on the streethttps://t.co/CSD4hwSmMW
122.
You ever think about how peaceful it must be inside the brain of a stupid person?
