“We were 20 when we got married and have been married for 48 years.
It has its ups and downs, just like any relationship.
It takes compromise and love.
… My advice before getting married: Don’t believe you’re able to change your spouse.
wylyjoan
2.
Where we differ is so silly, it doesn’t matter.”
Like damn near everything in life, there is a balance.
Some similar people work, like my best friend and her man.
Some polar opposites work.
morgan_le_slay
3.
“The people who say it should always be 100% from both partners.
I am going through health issues, and my spouse is feeling run down.
42 Indiana
4.
A happy marriage goes on day by day, with both parties acting like a team.
Every decision becomes about the team’s needs, not just yourself.”
“If your marriage feels like hard work, you won’t want to be in it.
You will inevitably want out if there are no rewards only a long, slow, resentful slog.”
62, Illinois
5.
“I married my best friend and lover.
I expected those feelings to last forever.
It’s only been 56 years, and I don’t see any change except getting older.
Perhaps the myth, for us, is that marriages become dull and stale after many years.”
77, Canada
6.
“Sex doesnt just happen.
Schedule time for sex.
Whatever works for you, your partner, and your schedules.
Otherwise, you could look over the dinner table and think ‘when was the last time we…?’
and neither of you will remember.”
“Sex does not have to end in mutual orgasms.
Sometimes its about them.
Enjoy it either way without keeping score.”
49, Virginia
7.
“Once married, you don’t both go off and live your lives.
Relatives come into the picture and make life complicated.”
68, Canada
8.
Truth: Individuals have their own interests at heart, without fail."
61, USA
9.
Marriage also needs a strong understanding and relationship with yourself to prepare for this lifetime commitment."
I cheated on my boyfriend, stole his money, and gave him even lower self-esteem.
In 2004, we got married, and I don’t even know my wedding date.
After nearly thirty years together, we separated in 2021.
I moved out, but we see each other twice a week.
We have yet to sign the divorce papers, and I don’t think we ever will.
51, Chicago
10.
The difference will make or break you, them, and the marriage itself."
52, Texas
11.
But your spouse’s ‘normal’ may be completely different.
Your marriage isn’t going to look like either set of parents or anyone else’s.
Your marriage will be what you and your spouse build."
65, Illinois
12.
“Throw out the idea of ‘unconditional love.’
Of course, love comes with conditions: respect, gentleness, empathy, partnership, kindness.
Expecting a partner to endure abuse because love is ‘unconditional’ is the quick road to divorce.”
42, Florida
13.
“Communication is not important?
No,goodcommunication is essential!
If your spouse is upset and you ask them, ‘What’s wrong?’
[In reality,] whatever they’re upset about can brew inside of them and cause resentment.”
67, California
14.
Reality: Love and marriage require work and honest communication.
65, Texas
15.
“Neither marriage nor divorce are the heaven or hell they are believed or portrayed as.
We have been married for 45 years.
But are headed for divorce this year.
Yeah, wild, I know.
We each continue to do our best, which is the decision for this chapter of our life.”
75, Republic of Panama
16.
“We’ve been married 22 years.
When I was younger, I thought falling in love was the goal.
It turns out that love isn’t something you fall into and then fall out of.
It’s something you build.
You start with a strong foundation and then keep building.”
50, Arizona,
And finally…
17.
“‘Don’t go to sleep mad at each other’ is the worst advice I ever got.
Just be adults and talk about it when you’re ready.
Just let them know that you’re ready to hear them when they’re ready to talk.”
42, Chicago
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
