“Workers compensation claim, guy falls down at work and claims he injured many different body parts.
We tell him to stay off social media.
No problem, he doesn’t use social media.
“Client added nine years to a short sentence.
Then towards the end of his short prison term he tried to escape, got nine more years!”
u/50yoWhiteGuy
3. u/dixiedemocrat
5.
He was full of shit and my firm knew it.
Anyways, we were going to trial and the day before we ran one more social media search.
Never saw a quicker dismissal in my life.”
“Friend of mine used to be a latent print analyst.
They were going to get prints of a suspect arrested for breaking into a home to rob it.
While shes getting the ink and paper set up, suspect shouts, ‘whaddya need the prints for?
She looked right at me when I kicked in the door!’
u/FjordReject
7.
“I’m a paralegal.
u/notreallylucy
8.
“I had an instructor who was a prosecutor.
She thought she was on TV, and overacted EVERY WORD.
Completely embellished the retelling of the events.
Didn’t lie, but she was the centre of her version of events.
He said you could see the faces of the jury members sour minute on minute.
He lost the case.”
u/shaidyn
9.
It took only a few seconds before the judge immediately called a stoppage.
“Around 1990 there was a guy on trial for armed robbery.
He pled not guilty.
A witness on the stand identified the defendant.
u/lowanddisorder
12.
“Im not a trial lawyer but a real estate one.
“Not me, but a colleague.
A wealthy client’s son got picked up for drug dealing at a local music festival.
The client bailed him out, and then had his whole fancy law firm defend his son.
There wasn’t a lot the lawyers could do after that.”
u/AliMcGraw
14. u/Maya_na9
15.
“I was defending a client who was accused of trademark infringement.
I wish I were joking!”
u/Maleficent_Okra9963
17.
Client responds: ‘I didnt threaten to kill her!
I threatened her mother!’
He thought there was some sort of distinction there.
We took a plea deal.”
u/Conscious_Second8208
18.
“He had multiple cases, including aggravated battery and drug possession.
The whole process took weeks.
Less than a day after getting out, he was caught stealing $16 worth of batteries from Target.
To be fair, the line between stupidity and compulsion is blurred with this one.”
H/T tou/Sunieta25and AskReddit for having this discussion!
Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
