“Marriage is flat-out determined work every day; you must keep at it and not give up.
Here’s what they had to say:
1.
“Twenty-five years married here.
axj66
2.
“Remember the wonderful times because they’re precious if you lose your spouse.
quizzycat72
3.
“The hardest thing for me has been lack of time for myself.
I’m an introvert and need time to regroup and reenergize after spending the work day around people.
I find moments for myself when I’m home, but they aren’t much.
robert_dunder
4.
“Twenty-one years married.
The cornerstones of our marriage are communication and honesty.
moncynnes
5.
“I got married at 18 to my 26-year-old wife (we’re now 21 and 29).
Don’t get me wrong, getting married was my best decision, but there are always setbacks.
jasonalcon23
6.
“The hardest part by far is in-laws.
I have been married twice, and both times my in-laws were insufferable.
She cheated on me and her second husband.
With my second wife, it was the father-in-law.”
“He told his daughter she was the smartest woman alive.
She was smart in some ways but dumb as a box of rocks with common sense.
61, USA
7.
“Honestly, it’s the absence of a definitive model of what constitutes a ‘good husband.’
I’m exhausted.”
43, Minnesota
8.
“My wife focuses on our adult children, I’m always last and doing mostly everything alone.
This is not what I had expected.”
50, Canada
9.
“A major challenge I’ve faced is navigating the complexities of intimacy and vulnerability in a long-term relationship.
First, there is the common challenge of a lack of physical intimacy in a long-term relationship.
It’s a way to express love, and it’s a way to know that I am loved.
“Second, there is the issue of vulnerability.
My wife wanted me to be vulnerable, but not too vulnerable.
Finding one outside of that desired zone would make intimacy even more remote.
That tension creates a painful and tragic longing for being able to just be.
52, Vermont
10.
“Not being their child’s father.
62, New Jersey
11.
My wife gets tired of her job; she quits because she knows I will keep mine.
The kids need someone to fix a thing; you fix it.
It doesn’t matter if you worked all day and are sick and hungry.
Their needs always come first.
They expect you to carry on for them always.”
Anonymous, Florida
12.
“The hardest part of marriage has been learning when to listen.
“This can be very challenging.
Success can be found when you learn how to take turns talking and listening.”
36, Indiana
13.
I think people also need a strong sense of community and deep, lasting friendships to thrive.
My wife is a homebody, and I like to go out and be active.
42, California
14.
“I married young and didn’t fully understand the commitment I was making.
I’ve been married for 17 years now, and I still continue to learn new things daily.”
38, Nebraska
15.
53, South Dakota
16.
“Seeing the one you love the most go through some repercussions of the actions made by others.
40, Texas
And finally…
17.
“1) I’ve been married for 32 years.
verify it’s a family you’ll be OK with having as a part of your life.”
Anonymous, USA
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
