Becoming a dad is a life-changing experience.
Here’s what they had to say:
1.
Im not saying that’s not real… “And I would tell new dads: Thats ok. Of course you dont.
“I’ve seen lots of posts from new dads freaking out and feeling like failures because they haven’t felt this ‘immediate connection’ to their newborns the way mom has."
Mom grew that thing.
Youve just been stressed.
The connection will come.
(And itwill).
If you do have that come to Jesus moment first time seeing your child, then great!
But if you dont, thats ok, too.
Its ok to process your life changing forever.
Youre not a bad person or a failure as a father or partner.”
Convergentshave
2.
“There is nothing more rewarding than getting to watch your child grow.
robert_dunder
3.
“First-time dad of the most perfect 10-month-old girl.
There are many more things I could say and probs will, but this sticks out to me.”
thefirsthovis
4.
“My job requires a lot of travel.
My wife picks up the solo parenting duty while I’m away.
However, she gets emotional when we are apart and insinuates that I’m ‘vacationing’ from the family.
Outsiders to our relationship do the same.
Anonymous, 45, Michigan
5.
“Do showemotionsaround your children.
We are their first teachers, and one thing we can teach early is how to express emotions.
Your children will learn how to process themselves emotionally primarily from how you process yours.
Im not saying dont get angry, but show them how to process anger in a healthy way.”
Anonymous, 34, Pennslyvania
6.
“Fatherhood is the best thing a man can experience in life.
I thought I knew what love was prior to her birth…
I had no fucking clue.”
Anonymous, 37, Michigan
7.
“Birth trauma hits dads, too.
We carry a lot, but it doesnt mean you have to carry it alone.”
Anonymous, 36, California
8.
“The love is in the word ‘No.’
Its by setting these boundaries that we show kids that we are there and we care about their well-being.
They grow up happier and more secure as a result.”
Anonymous, 56, BC
9.
“It’s really hard, and doesn’t get easier.
That has scared me for the last five years, and is 100% true.
At the end of the day, a good dad is selfless, and that takes a toll.”
Anonymous, 45, Colorado
10.
“I was told early on the importance of making time for your spouse after having kids.
So confirm you keep them in mind as well as your precious child/children.”
Anonymous, 38, Florida
11.
“Your relationship with your spouse will change.
And it needs to be made a priority as well.”
Notawettowel
“I really think this is THE change that doesnt get addressed enough.
This is my current challenge, making the time.”
ConfusionFederal2014
12.
“Every TV show, etc.
depicts parenthood as this horribly impossible chore.
My kids bring me so much joy.
Yes, they can be difficult, but I’ve never felt that feeling of completeness before having them.
All the small things and adventures you could have together.
The appreciation that they have for you.
It knows no bounds.”
mikeyj777
13.
Might take months.”
KasamUK
14.
“There is an immediate change in your time.
There is no more free time.
Either you or your wife need to have eyes on that baby 24/7.
The baby may not want to sleep in its crib, might want to sleep on you.
The ability to just go play a game or watch something is gone, but that is ok.
The rest of your life is filled with the purpose of caring for your little one and wife.
It takes an adjustment, but its pretty great.”
BlueSunCorporation
15.
“I wish I was more prepared for my wifes postpartum depression.
Ten months in, and he is an incredibly big and healthy baby boy.
hergumbules
16.
“The little bits of sadness when they mature and need you less and less.”
billiarddaddy
17.
“I went into it expecting no more free time or social life.
Pretty soon, the wife and I figured out a routine.
Sunday night is family time.
shockjavazon
18.
“It’s more fun than anyone lets on.
You’re like a celebrity that parties with your fans.”
But that happiness was tempered by the fact my wife was devastated and thought she was no longer needed.
The pendulum of a child’s parental needs swings back and forth for the first few years.
Both situations require love and understanding.”
WalterIAmYourFather
Do you have some advice about fatherhood you wish more people knew?
Let me know in the comment section below!
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
