Sometimes divorce isn’t as easy as it seems.

Note: This post contains mention of domestic abuse.

Here’s what they said…

1.

Comments discussing past regrets: First comment, by Impressive_Ice3817, expresses regret over ignoring red flags in a long-term relationship. Second comment, by arlnwl, agrees and reflects on their own mistakes and current sadness

“I threw my husband a large party for his birthday with his family and close childhood friends.

After the party was over, my mom and her friend stayed up with my husband and his friend.

I asked him to come help me with our 4-month-old baby.

A person lies on the floor holding a smartphone, with a bottle and cans near them. Their face isn't visible, and the setting suggests a relaxed or casual environment

I looked out the window and saw he was smiling and texting someone, but it wasn’t me.

I let it go and went to sleep with our baby.

The next morning, I checked his Apple Watch.

A pregnant woman is lying on a couch, resting her head on a pillow with her eyes closed

They were even planning to ‘bring her inside’ and see what would happen.

He swore it was all jokes.

I should have left.

A blue donkey and a red elephant face each other on a stage with an American flag pattern

I’m still with him.”

“I found out when I was four months pregnant that my husband was bisexual.

He was sexting these men and reaching out to all kinds of F-buddies.

Close-up image of a tufted leather upholstery with button details

I stayed because I was pregnant and because he gave me herpes.

We also started couples counseling.

Our son is now 2, and it may have been the biggest regret of my life.

A man with a thoughtful expression sits on a couch with his hand on his chin while a woman in the background also appears deep in thought

He almost left before we got married or pregnant and before I got herpes.

However, I dont think Ill ever trust him.”

“All of 2016 leading up to the election almost broke us.

A couple sitting back-to-back on a couch with arms crossed, indicating disagreement or conflict. Faces not shown. Both wear casual clothing: T-shirts and jeans

We decided to stop talking about politics (or anything remotely related to it) completely.

We put in too many years of marriage and a family, we didnt want to break up.

Its still difficult knowing that we detest each others political beliefs.”

A man in a blue shirt sits in a chair gesturing while a woman in a plaid jacket covers her face with her hands, seemingly distressed, in a modern interior

“I wanted a new sectional couch.

He was vehemently anti-sectional.

For whatever reason, he still refuses to let me have the furniture I want.

A woman and a man sit on a couch with arms crossed, looking away from each other, appearing to be in conflict

He holds the purse strings over my head because I make a tiny fraction of what he earns.

So, you would think he could give me an inch on family stuff.

We ended up with reclining sofas.

A person wearing a suit uses their hands to separate two tall stacks of coins on a desk

The only thing I got that I wanted was leather.

He gave up very little and didn’t do it to make me happy…”

5.

“I love my wife, so I’m still trying to make it work.

A woman sits on a bed with her head in her hands, appearing upset. In the background, a man with a beard sits on the bed looking away. Names unknown

I’ve tried to work it out in whatever way I can without bringing divorce up.

I also enjoy my house and commute, and my wife is sexy as hell, haha.

There’s a lot worth saving, but I am not happy.”

Two small figurines, a man and a woman, stand on alphabet blocks spelling "DIVORCE" against a gradient background

“I don’t leave because I cant throw away 30 years of my life.

We are working together to try and save our marriage.

Things get better, then they’re bad again.

An older man and woman sit on a couch, facing away from each other, both looking distressed. The man is in the foreground, while the woman covers her face

Im tired of the cycle.”

If I argue, he becomes violent.

I don’t want to be with him, but there is no one to help."

Two individuals lie on a bed under striped light shadows, facing away from each other. One is shirtless and the other has curly hair and wears a tank top

“I’ve been married for 21 years this year.

Eight years in, my wife cheated on me with three different guys.

She lied to me, then to her parents, then to our marriage counselor.

The next year, she went to counseling, and ultimately, we stayed together.

I’ll never forget it, and I think about it every day.

It still affects me.

We have three kids who are all over 18 now.”

He is also from another country, and custody would be so freaking messy.

We are like two friends living in this house.

It works for us, I guess."

“Depending on your personality throw in, you could tend just to resign yourself to things over time.

I am in a marriage where we feel more like friends than anything.

Our strengths/weaknesses don’t really complement each other.

I admit I resent it sometimes.

But over the years, I don’t really even bring it up anymore.

I’ve just gotten…used to it.”

“I am so ready to leave, but taking that first step feels so hard.

Just finally sitting down and saying the 18 months of therapy and ‘work’ haven’t been working.

I dislike the person he has become, and I see no future with him.

It’s really the fear of the unknown that keeps me here.

“I work for a guy that has been married 60 years.

“I’ve been married 51 years.

The first 40 years were wonderful, but we just grew apart.

Now, we are more roommates than husband and wife.”

Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911.