BuzzFeed: How did music become your creative outlet for releasing your emotions?
How has your relationship with music changed over the years?
It kind of put me in a lot of compromising situations.
“Being able to talk about those feelings and emotions out loud was really pivotal in my healing process."
It started out as journal entries and then I ended up just turning it into music.
I take it all in stride because I’m grateful for the opportunity.
In a previous interview, you mentioned dropping out of school to pursue your rap career.
Well, I really didn’t have much going on.
I couldn’t hear my own inner voice, instead I was listening to other people.
It was very difficult to navigate.
Stomp Down Inc /youtube.com
I was always looking for an alternative to school.
Even when I was in high school I would count down the time ‘til I graduated high school.
It didn’t happen when I wanted it to, but it definitely came on time.
I’m grateful for that.
I am going back to school though, in the spring, to finish what I started.
I just want to know I can finish for myself.
But overall, it wasn’t a difficult decision to make.
It was the one I was most excited about.
I was having fun going to the studio, recording music, and seeing people’s responses.
It really fueled me!
It only took a few people to say, “Oh my God, this is fire!
What do you plan on studying when you return to school?
Oh, nice!
Wishing you all the best.
Honestly, it was really weird…the progression, at, least for me, anyway.
I felt like I was present and experiencing every single milestone.
It was all happening progressively and steadily.
There was no dip or wake-up overnight with a million followers it’s been a slow grind.
I saw every little change in it.
A gradual progression is a perfect way to describe it.
I didn’t skip any steps.
Even if I went up those steps relatively quickly, I touched every single step.
It was a climb.
What has been the most surprising and the most challenging thing youve learned about fame?
The most challenging is staying consistent and not getting discouraged.
You have to have a lot of self-discipline because this is a self-governance key in of occupation.
You kind of have to be your own boss a lot of the time.
If you’re lazy your career is going to reflect it.
But, yeah, finding that balance is the most difficult.
The most surprising has been meeting people that you only previously saw online or on TV.
People should get their flowers while they can smell them.
At the end of the day, you’re human.
Understandably, you’d have days where you felt like doing nothing or felt like complaining.
you’re able to complain and still be grateful for all of the blessings that come your way.
All my life I’ve heard, “What are you complaining about?
What are you complaining for?”
A lot of them don’t believe in depression, anxiety, or any of that.
In a pastHypeBeastinterview, you mentioned feeling like an outcast growing up.
What has your experience been like since officially entering the rap game?
Did you feel welcome?
I’m moving into a more open and honest phase in my life and really just identifying shit.
What encouraged you to share those personal moments in such a public way?
I feel 10 times better when I just get it off my chest instead of trying to hide it.
It can get exhausting and I don’t always have the capacity for it.
But I do have the capacity to talk about things that are troubling me or plaguing me.
People respect the honesty and vulnerability.
R&B has been an outlet for you as well.
After dropping Miss You Already you hinted at getting into your R&B bag a little more.
Is that still something youre looking to pursue?
I have church roots.
I love singing, I love harmonies, I love instrumentation that’s where my heart is.
They want to hear rowdy shit, I already know this.
I’m not looking to merge the two…I’m not looking to rap about sad shit.
It just doesn’t add up for me in my mind, creatively.
But I will always make R&B music.
That’s where my heart is…I like to sing.
Because they don’t.
I’m only singing!”
Can you tell me how that came about and what the feedback has been like?
I’ve always been an advocate for mental health.
It’s the life that I’ve always lived.
That was the direction my life started going after different traumatic experiences, abuse, and all that shit.
We had a lot of shared experiences, like feeling like an outcast or being deeply misunderstood.
I’ve seen a lot of things.
They weren’t even necessarily full conversations, but something they said was really impactful and stuck with me.
Sometimes that’s really all it takes.
like and Imagine if I would’ve, sold myself short.
A lot of people miss out on their potential because of temporary emotions and temporary situations.
They just need the proper tools and to hear certain things.
Once I realized that, that started becoming part of my identity before I was ever a rapper.
When I gave a speech at my high school graduation, I was talking about mental health.
But I got up to that podium and read my entire original speech.
I know she was fuming, but it didn’t matter because I had already graduated at that point.
Ha, I love that!
Have you ever done any professional work with mental health outside of the organization you created?
Not everybody has the courage to speak up, so I felt like I had a duty to uphold.
Stay one more day.”
Along with your mental health, you’ve been very open about your bisexuality.
I’m bisexual as well, gang gang [laughs].
No, no hesitation.
Anything that’s true and authentic about myself, I’m sure that I want to do.
But a man can’t like another man?
They just get really weird.
It’s just a part of me.
I was really looking for my tribe.
Anytime I share anything personal about myself, I’m looking for my demographic…for my people.
Seriously, I’m undoubtably talented.
It’s very difficult to get to this point, especially as a Black woman.
You are talented!
And I love your mindset.
What were some of your favorite moments from last year and what are you excited about for 2024?
I had my son last year so that definitely trumps everything!
That was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Then, like you said, the tour.
That was an amazing experience.
I got to meet people and I cried at every single show.
Also postpartum is different for everybody.
so you have to literally be inside of my body to understand what was going on with me.
But I did have a good year.
I’m moving into a space of receptiveness, gratitude, and openness…whatever that looks like.
This year I want to be more present.
Let’s speak that into existence: 2024 is going to be a great year!
Who was your first queer crush?
I always thought women were really beautiful my whole life.
I don’t know who was first [laughs].
I feel like it’s changed and evolved.
Who was your first Black queer fashion icon?
These are really good questions!
I don’t even think about this bang out of stuff.
I really looked up to her.
I loved her hair.
I love how bright and colorful she was allowed to be.
I wanted all of that.
I thought it was cool to see that from her.
I can’t believe I haven’t said this more often.
But I definitely remember her being my idol.
Willow was and still is an inspiration!
When was the first time you realized your sexuality wasn’t a phase?
I realized very early on because I had home girls and I thought they were cute.
My mom went through my phone and she saw that I was dating a girl named Gio.
We were Gio and Leo.
Super cute, right [laughs]?
When I got out of the hospital she asked me, “Are you gay?”
And I was like, “Um, why are you asking me that?”
She was like, “I went through your phone.
Who is Gio?”
I was like, “That’s my girlfriend and I don’t care!”
My mom told me it was a phase and I told her it wasn’t.
It was like a whole thing.
What advice would you give to young Black queer people?
Love and be proud of yourself and do things that you might be proud of.
This is the only life that we get to live.
Sometimes we take being alive for granted.
I wasted a lot of time being ashamed of who I was and what I went through.
I can never get that time back.
Not to be morbid, but we could die tomorrow.
You don’t have time to waste.
Be proud of yourselves today.
Speaking of being proud, what has been your proudest moment, being Black and queer?
When I felt like I could be myself.
On top of feeling like I could be myself, I actually grew a liking for myself.
I was proud for getting through those tough days.
I’m proud to be showing up as myself unapologetically…more authentically every single day.
Hopefully, that inspires people to also take the time to be more intentional with themselves.
So, I’m just proud to be here.
That’s my proudest moment.
Every day I get up and try, I’m proud.
There’s always a need for more representation.
There should be somebody for everybody.
I’m really excited about all of these subcategories that are popping up.
People aren’t getting really fucking specific about who they are and really finding their tribe.
I’m looking to find my tribe of people too.
So, no, I don’t think there’s ever enough representation.
How much do you think we’ve progressed as Black LGBTQ+ people in society?
I think we’ve made a lot of progress.
But we’re moving in the right direction, slowly but surely.
I think they should unpack why they aren’t comfortable around other human beings.
What is your hope for Black LGBTQ+ people in the future?
My hope is for safer spaces and less scrutiny.
I’ve never understood the outrage behind people just wanting to be themselves, even as a young girl.
I’ve always seen people for who they were.
What does it matter what somebody else is doing in their life?
Why does it matter how somebody else is living their life?
There’s just a lot of shit that irks me…it really gets under my skin.
Your honesty and vulnerability has been so refreshing!
Thank you for chatting with me, Monaleo.
