I think theres something going on with Ella, she said gently.
My stomach dropped, as Id had my own suspicions for years.
I think theres something going on with Ella, she said gently.
My stomach dropped, as Id had my own suspicions for years.
Id often seen her staring blankly at the lengthy math equations, unsure of what to do.
Her grades had been rapidly declining, going from Bs to Cs and Ds.
No one knew how to fix or how to help her.
Shes been distracted in class.
Im not a doctor, but you may want to consider having her evaluated.
It had become our dark reality.
I was desperate for change, for her to not feel so lost and worn down.
It had taken a toll on me, too.
This conversation was an unexpected gift from a caring and observant teacher.
What I didnt know then was that most girls with ADD present without the hyperactivity part.
Theirinattentivebehaviors and challenges often go unnoticed because they dont resemble those of the stereotypical hyperactive ADHD boy.
This makes them more difficult to diagnose, and often results inlater diagnosesfor adolescent girls.
Then, days later, the doctor called to give me the results.
Its not a black-and-white answer.
She continued, I know you want a definitive direction, but shell need to undergo a formal assessment.
Ill send you a list of providers that offer it.
I knew what it meant: more waiting, more unknowns.
Even when I spoke to a few doctors directly, they all said the same thing.
Were booking about six months out.
Another said, Its around April of next year for the next opening.
Finally, I found a doctor to do the testing over winter break.
In the months leading up to the testing, the dynamic between Ella and I shifted.
Before, Id often blamed her when she didnt like school and couldnt focus.
It started every morning after breakfast.
Shed slam her door and holler, I dont want to go!
It was a constant cycle of arguments, every morning and every night.
My frustration and impatience turned to quiet listening as she searched for answers in her schoolwork.
At school, things changed, too.
It felt like we had our own personal cheerleader.
That December, the psychiatrist welcomed us in for testing.
Afterward, Ella was drained.
For weeks, we waited and finally confirmed she did have ADD.
But it wasnt just non-hyperactive ADDwhich is more common among females.
She also had anxiety as a comorbidity.
Sometimes she exhibited multiple symptoms at once.
The one that changed Ellas life, that saw her for who she was.
She became more willing to go to school, with fewer meltdowns in the mornings.
Before long, her grades came up and she started to love school.
Her grades went from Cs and Ds to almost all As at the end of the final quarter.
She finished the year on a high note with almost-straight As.
I feel the anxiety rising up inside me, too.
It feels a little less daunting.
As her mom, it is frustrating that it took so long to figure it out.
I wish I could erase all those years she struggled, as well as my own frustration with her.
If Id known about the signs of ADD in girls and comorbidities, I could have helped her earlier.
She left an indelible mark on Ellas life, a gift she will carry with her forever.
This article originally appeared onHuffPost.
