“I convinced myself I’d sit at my vanity and do my hair and makeup everyday.

Bro, I can’t even shower anymore.”

But when she finally arrived, I realized the reality was quite different!

Person kneeling on the floor while rolling up a yoga mat, next to pink dumbbells and a water bottle, inside a cozy, bright room with plants and modern furniture

Here’s what new parents said (and I added a few of my biggest surprises, too).

“RIP to all the nap workouts I thought I’d get!

2.“Sleep.

A woman in a cozy robe gently holds a sleeping baby in a kitchen with a bowl, cup, and French press on the counter

When I recovered, I could not sleep well for a few days before I gave birth.

I kept saying to myself I can’t wait to give birth so I can finally get some sleep!

u/passionfruit0

3.

A woman sits cuddling a baby in a peaceful room with large green plants in the background

“I thought I would basically come out of maternity leave asIna Garten.

I’d cook gourmet dinners for my husband and me while our baby peacefully slept in her crib.

The joke’s on me!

Young child smiling while seated in a car seat, holding a small cup, inside a vehicle

So we had takeout or delivery…basically every night.”

“Go for cute little stroller walks every day.

Its been too hot, and also shes been too miserable.”

Newborn baby crying in a white crib with a stuffed animal in the background

u/Snoo-36501

5.

“Read while she naps.

I’m sure I will one day, but I’m way too tired.

A person wearing glasses feeds a baby at a table with a small blue bowl in the foreground

“Being able to listen to my usual podcasts and music in the car.

I told myself that my kids would like what I liked in terms of music.

Two years later, and now my top two artists are Raffi and Super Simple Songs.”

A person holds a sleeping baby wrapped snugly in a striped cloth sling

u/WhirlingCells

10.

I didn’t realize just how often I’d eat while holding him.

“Continue doing my hair and makeup every day while sitting at my vanity.

Close-up of a person pushing a baby stroller with a baby inside. The person's hands and a glimpse of the baby are visible

Bro, I can’t even shower anymore, lmao.”

u/crantonicitytwo

12.

“I thought I could just babywear while I sit at my desk and finish some work.

A sleeping baby dressed in a patterned onesie, with an adult's hand gently holding the baby's hand

Turns out my baby starts screaming instantly unless I’m outside walking.”

“That Id be able to work on aside hustleon maternity leave .”

u/ToyStoryAlien

14.

A smiling young child with curly hair in a striped onesie reaches towards an open washing machine

“Go for long walks and car rides.

I figured they sleep so much; why not?

Ohhhhhh, you poor, sweet, ignorant thing.”

A child playing in a room filled with toys, head and shoulders inside a striped cloth bin, surrounded by colorful toy cars, blocks, and play mats

u/bubblegumtaxicab

16.

“Dress my newborn baby girl in all the adorable outfits I bought before she was born.

Newborn baby clothes are so small and cute that it was hard not to overbuy.

An adult helping a baby in a diaper take steps on the beach near the ocean

Shes ten months and wants to be very involved in anything laundry-related.

Anything folded does not stay that way for long.”

I got back from a week at the beach recently and can confirm traveling with a baby is HARD.

I dont regret it; the family time was really nice.

But traveling with a baby is not for the weak.”

u/tatertottt8

19.

“I didn’t think I’d need to send my baby to daycare because I work from home.

So many people I know also thought this.

just assumed kids entertained themselves.

How wrong I was!”

u/AffectionateLeg1970

21.

“Go to the beach.

We tried to take my daughter when she was eight months old.

We bought a baby tent and spent 20 minutes slathering sunscreen on every exposed roll.

And then we went home.”

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.