My wife ‘forgave’ me then started an affair with a neighbor.
Revenge was sweet for her."
Werecently askedpeople in theBuzzFeed Communitywho’ve cheated on their significant others if they have any regrets.
Here’s what they had to say:
1.
“I hooked up with a friend who had a girlfriend.
He dumped her, and we got together.
It was traumatizing and humiliating and awful.
I’m divorced now and married to someone much better, but damn, karma sucks.”
Anonymous
2.
“I currently am cheating on my husband.
I have been for a little over two years now.
We had become more like roommates than spouses.
I would divorce him, but we’re drowning in debt and can’t afford to leave right now.
Plus, after the first year, we both confessed that we loved each other.
He stays with her to keep my husband from getting suspicious, as the guys are good friends.
“No regrets whatsoever.
I traveled for work and, more often than not, my spouse accused me of cheating.
It started when I first met my coworker.
There was palpable chemistry, though we didnt do anything at the time.
From that point, we developed a friendship, and our exchanges helped me through difficult times.
“My spouse, as usual, had been extremely ugly to me before the event.
Every one of them lived up to my expectations.
I think two things contribute to me not feeling guilty.
- It wasnt a love thing, just a physical outlet.
“I had an affair with a mutual friend of my wife and me.
Not only did it destroy my marriage, but it destroyed my friendship with the mutual friend.
My friend didnt even want a relationship and only wanted to have sex.
I was devastated because I wanted to be with them, but they used me.
My wife found out and divorced me (I dont blame her).
I was at a weak point in my life, and I betrayed my wife of 10 years.
No matter how much I attempt to make up for what I did, it still doesnt change anything.
I cant undo what I already did.”
Im not sure if he ever found out, but he was the one who ended the relationship.
In hindsight, I wish that I had just ended the relationship instead of cheating.
It was a classic sleazy affair, including lunchtime hotel rendezvous.
The second time I cheated was for love and led to me divorcing my husband.”
“I cheated on my then-boyfriend of three years.
We were long-distance, and our schedules no longer aligned.
One night, I hooked up with a guy I met at a bar a few weeks before.
When I did break up with my boyfriend, it was fine.
But one guy I hooked up with blew it all up.”
“I lost a great group of friends and received threatening messages from my ex’s siblings.
His mom actually ranted to my friend about how much of a bitch I am.
I probably couldve kept him as a friend and stayed in the friend group.
The excitement of sneaking is what drives the spice.
Of course, I love my family and love my wife.
And Im not totally sure she doesnt or wouldnt do the same.
Sometimes, intimacy and home are draining.
And to feel alive and excitement, you have to do other things that parents normally wouldnt.
Its a messed-up mindset.”
I fell for this woman and started wooing her with flowers, dinner dates, etc.
I didnt hide my tracks very well, and my wife found my texts between me and the woman.
The affair ended before we had sex.
My wife ‘forgave’ me then started an affair with a neighbor.
Revenge was sweet for her.
She ended up telling me she did not love me anymore.
I was kicked out of my house and lost my family and children.
I started something that ended up destroying my life.”
“My marriage of 13 years has been not great for the past few years.
My husband kept messing up our finances and lying about it.
My self-esteem improved, and I felt happier than I had in a long time.
And it wasn’t just sex.
“I have absolutely zero regrets.
He ended up going to a party with her, and they had some intimate moments.
When I found out, I slept with someone else and broke up with him the next day.”
somethingintheway166
12.
“I will regret it for the rest of my life.
b492e17612
13.
“My marriage had fallen into such a state of irreconcilable differences.
She took off to another state with some guy.
We had kids, so I always took her back.
One night, I ended up going home with a woman who was part of my brothers friend group.
We had always flirted.
I fully expected it to be like all my other one-night flings.
But there was something different.
I couldnt put my finger on it.
Maybe it was the friendship we had, so I didnt want to hurt her.
Maybe it was her full understanding I was married, and she didnt push.
Maybe it was when she joined me in the shower.
All I knew was a month later, I was separated.”
“I told my wife I wasnt getting back together this time.
She didnt believe me.
I called this woman up for a date.
Weirdest first date ever where we discussed everything: my kids, the cheating.
Now 40 years later, were still together.
I love her madly and have never even remotely thought of cheating.
We have an amazing, passionate relationship with a solid base of friendship.
I dont really feel guilty.
It was rough for a time on the kids, then they came to live with us.
The kids have a great relationship with my wife.
And a very complicated one with their mother.
So no regrets.”
“I have occasionally cheated when things got rough, and I was fed up.
So, I dated others.
“I cheated on my husband when I kissed ‘the one that got away.’
It had been 10 years since I’d seen him, and he was in town.
I yearned to feel like my old, healthy, younger self and wanted to be desired.
The guy who I kissed was a longtime flame, and there were years of sexual tension.
The kiss felt amazing, but we both felt bad and stopped, wrought with guilt.
I waited some time but eventually blurted out the truth, and my husband was devastated.”
I regret hurting someone I loved.
He didn’t deserve that.”
“Ive been married for over 20 years and pretty unhappy for at least half of it.
My spouse is a difficult person who is highly critical of everyone.
Wrong clothes, wrong appearance, no one ever does anything right.
I finally realized that I just couldnt make them happy, and the effort was ruining me, too.
I met someone in our city, and it was clear there was a mutual attraction.
I initiated it, but the sex wasnt the point.”
I expected to feel guilty but never actually did, not for a second.
It never led to anything more, but its a small thing that I get to keep for myself.
That part was awesome.”
“I cheated on my long-term boyfriend with a guy from work.
We hadnt been on the best of terms, and it made me realize that I was severely depressed.
He didnt believe depression was real and told me I needed to go outside more.
“Honestly, no regrets.
It was a very toxic, on-again-off-again, long-distance relationship.
I was away at college, and he was living with his mom in our hometown.
One of his guy friends introduced him to a woman who needed a place to keep her horse.
She started keeping it at his moms house, and they started hanging out.
I found out, and he denied everything, saying they were just friends.
He failed to mention that our mutual friend would have them go on double dates.
I had every intention of breaking up with him but chickened out.
Then one night, I hooked up with a baseball player.”
Huge shocker: not even two weeks later, he started dating that woman.
So instead of being mature, I got even.”
Why I stayed so long, I don’t know.
I was miserable, except for my wonderful kids.
I was a good wife and mother.
Once my kids were in school, I finally returned to the workforce after being a SAHM for years.
Something in me sort of snapped, and thus began a wild few months.
“Toward the end of that time, I knew I had to end our marriage and move on.
I told him I wanted out, and it was over.
He put me through hell for YEARS and deserved every single bit of it.
I’m glad he found out.
My kids have been able to see what a happy marriage looks like.
My ex is a miserable and lonely person.”
“No, I don’t regret it.
I know it was wrong, but cheating meant I didn’t feel unwanted or unloved or undesired anymore.
To this day, he doesn’t know I cheated; we separated due to other non-sexual issues.”
roxanasalcedomd
21.
Years later, after I remarried, my ex and I had an affair.
The truth was revealed like it always is, and I was forced to decide which way to go.
An affair is devastating, but trust can be rebuilt over time.
Honestly, I dont know what I was thinking.”
He filed for divorce, took me off our mortgage, and we have joint custody.
I never thought having the time to myself like I wanted so badly would feel this lonely.
I got exactly what I deserved.
I dont even like the guy I had an affair with anymore.”
“After the birth of our child, my husband lost interest in having sex.
We were six years together then (23 years together now and going strong).
He is a loving father, and we have a loving and steady life.
But sex is only when he initiates, and its three times a year if Im lucky.
I discussed the difference in our sex drives many times but without success.
Over the years while raising our son, I became more and more unhappy.
I love him, but hey, I love myself, too.
Something had to change, but for the sake of our child, separation was no option.
About eight years ago, I met a man who was working in my area.”
“We got to talking for a bit, and I gave him my number.
It was tearing me up inside.
Also, the secret texting made me feel terrible.
It was not a one-night stand.
Ive been with this man on the side ever since.
He has his own family now.
By seeing him once in a while, I can deal with my relationship much better.
I love my husband for ALL the other things.
I feel guilt still, but without my second man, I would be miserable.”
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
