No, Amazon does not deliver newborn babies.
But give them a few years…I wouldn’t put it past them.
It must be hard to be a toddler.
But we can also be forgiven for laughing, because some of the stuff they believe is seriously funny.
Check them out:
1.
I asked him about it, and he explained that ‘feathers grow in pillows.’
I asked, ‘But what about birds?’
Then he elaborated, ‘Feathers grow in pillows so the birds can wear them.'"
Brendan R.D., Quora
2.
Therefore, her made-up name for all bras was ‘Airbra.'"
“‘Mom, here’s your Airbra to put on.’
‘Is it time for you to put on your Airbra, mommy?’
‘I can’t wait until I get to have an Airbra!’
She then yelled, ‘MOM, I NEED SOME AIR FOR MY AIRBRA!’
She looked at me like I was nuts.”
Rebecca B., Quora
4.
So, I guess he believes Amazon is the modern-day stork?"
But it was almost always the four of us adults together.
One time, I went to visit the mom/wife of this couple by myself.
She and I were chatting when the 3-year-old asked me, ‘Where’s your dad?’
I chuckled a little and thought in confusion, ‘My dad?
He doesn’t know my dad…???’
The boy repeated, ‘Where’s your dad?’
and I then realized that he was asking about my absent husband!
It dawned on me that the only word he knew for an adult male was ‘dad.’
Dale C., Quora
6.
“My toddler believed that instead of getting bigger herself, I was getting smaller.
She told me that when I got little, I could have her favorite shirt.
And she told my future husband that when I got little, she would marry him.”
“My 2-year-old believes she has an imaginary friend named Trump.
As it turns out, hes a pretty ornery fellow.
Last week, she says, he talked her into drawing all over herself with a marker.
We laugh it off.
But then, we went to a dinner party with my husbands coworkers.
Seriously, they formed a little circle around her as she danced around and entertained them.
Then suddenly she shouted, ‘Everybody hide!
TRUMP is coming!’
I held my breath until the entire room burst into laughter.
(Thank God.)”
Sheree M., Quora
8.
“When my son was around 2, he believed, for some reason, that I wasBatman.
I have no idea where it came from.
It went on for about three months until it finally clicked why he thought I was Batman.
He would always laugh and loved to tell anyone he met that his dad was Batman.”
Is that true?’
‘Baby,’ my wife replied, ‘everyone has to die someday.’
My daughter shook her head and said, ‘No.
You are not going to die.
You and I will both live forever.
Only dad has to die.'"
“My wife was shocked and laughed for ages.”
Sheheryar X.B., Quora
10.
It’s really funny."
“My son believes that everything is alive.
He was like, ‘Dear door, like don’t cry.
Daddy didn’t hurt you on purpose.'”
“He also insisted on covering his quilt with a smaller blanket because ‘the quilt might be cold.’
I immediately asked him,‘Seriously?
What if the small blanket feels cold?
‘I kicked myself the minute I said that.
David F., Quora
12.
“My 3-year-old son has dinosaur-themed sheets and pillows on his bed because, well, he loves dinosaurs.
A few weeks ago, he woke up crying that his ears hurt.
He had a cold and, as it turned out, a bad ear infection.
Unfortunately, it was the Stegosaurus, so his big spikes are poking me inside.'”
“My daughter thinks I am responsible for putting dreams in her brain before she falls asleep.
It’s a part of our nighttime routine.
Sometimes, I tell her I put in dreams about ‘ice cream, puppies, and spiders.’
Then she’ll say, ‘No!
Take that one out!’
So I put my hand back on her head and tell her I took it out.”
It’s cute when she does it before 10 p.m. but annoying when she does it after that.
Sometimes, I tell her it’s a ‘surprise dream.’
Mathew B., Quora
14.
She loved to eat and drink it, and was friendly and harmless.
My daughter asked, ‘Then why can’t I talk to her, daddy?’
I replied, ‘Because she’s an alien and doesn’t speak English.'”
“A couple of days ago, I was alone at home with my 5-year-old.
At some point, I heard him downstairs saying, ‘I love you.’
I called down to him: ‘Hey, who are you talking to?’
He responded: ‘Siri.
She just updated my iPad and everything looks new!'”
Elena L., Quora
16.
“My 3-year-old truly believes that an ice pack can make anything better.
A few nights ago, he had a nightmare and woke up crying.
I went to comfort him, but he was horribly upset and wouldnt stop screaming.
Then, it occurred to me that I might offer him an ice pack.
By the time I returned, he was already sound asleep.”
“My mother tongue is Telugu, and my husband’s is Hindi.
One day, my husband was jokingly imitating me with his very limited Telugu vocabulary.
My daughter asked him, ‘Why are you talking in Telugu?
Stop talking in Telugu!’
My husband replied, ‘Why not?
Why can’t I speak Telugu?’
She firmly believes girls speak Telugu and boys speak Hindi and looks confused when we tell her otherwise.”
Aswini, Quora
18.
“When my son’s electronic toys stopped working, I explained they needed batteries.
If I did not have batteries, he would accept that and play with something else.
One morning he was using crayons to draw.
He looked at me and said: ‘Needs batteries.'”
I chased him all over the place, and he screamed, laughed, and ran away from me.
Because obviously, if he lifts the toy THAT HIGH, no one could possibly reach it."
It’s simply too high."
Iva Izabela M., Quora
20.
“The toddler was me, and it was 1959.
I said, ‘Only boys have ears.’
I had never seen girls’ ears.
Girls and women all had long hair, and I only saw ears on boys and men.
My toddler mind thought I was a freak.”
“Back in the ’90s, I phoned my sister.
As often happened, my 2-year-old niece answered the phone (a standard landline, voice only).
She immediately started telling me that she’d just got new, pretty shoes.
Then she went silent, and I heard my sister laughing as she took the phone.
‘She was showing you her shoes!’
she giggled, ‘She was pointing the receiver at them!'”
