I’ve had so many mental breakdowns about it.
I’m glad my grandma has money to cover her care, but it just isn’t enough.
This is scary and overwhelming at best."
Taking care of an aging parent can be stressful physically, mentally, and financially.
Because of that, it’s not uncommon to seek out assistance.
Here are some of the staggering realities of dealing with eldercare in the US:
1.
“I’m 83 and my wife is 75.
She’s had Parkinson’s, dementia, and anxiety for 13 years.
The last few years have become difficult financially, and I’m still trying to provide most care myself.
I’m spending over $40,000 a year for four hours of evening help, six days a week.
I’m up at 7 in the morning and am very tired by midafternoon.
My wife gets meds nine times a day, and I fix all the meals.
She qualified for hospice, so I’m expecting to put her in sometime soon.
Needless to say, I’m stressed out in many ways, financially and physically.
After my wife dies, I’ll have nothing left to care for myself.”
“My dad needed special care, so we were exploring our options.
One place quoted us $600 a day.
Another place for a shared room, mind you was asking for $900 a day.
Who the hell can afford any of this?”
cupcakesfordinner
3.
“My aunt has Alzheimer’s and was placed in eldercare after a bad fall.
The hospital recommended a specific facility so that she would have around-the-clock care.
She was there for less than a week.
My aunt BEGGED to come home, and she is now being cared for by family.
It was $350 a DAY.”
ellene8
5.
They all SUCK and are all the same.
Our minimum base price at one facility was $7,000 a month, and they do NOTHING.
It’s tough beyond tough."
“I have two parents with dementia, and I receive zero help.
My parents ‘made too much’ for Medicaid and couldn’t afford skilled nursing even with insurance.
They never planned for this, and they never told anyone that they had dementia.
I came into this unexpectedly in the middle of their respective stages.
Simply put, they cannot afford it.
I, a person with zero medical training, am the ‘eldercare’ for two seniors with dementia.
This system is broken.”
Shona, 50, South Carolina
7.
He has two years left until he runs out of money and will need Medicaid.
But I’ve been disabled due to long COVID since March 2020.
I’m currently on Social Security Disability Insurance, so I have my own problems.
Vicki McGill, 56, Washington, DC
9.
This took a toll on us, too.
The system definitely needs fixing."
“My husband, who’s 71, has cancer and suffered a stroke.
He was transferred from the hospital to a nursing facility for rehab.
My husband is a big guy, and I was using a walker myself.
It was a nightmare!
Thank god I have insurance that covered him until discharge, and had a credit card to use.
It could have been much worse.”
Anonymous
11.
“My dad has dementia and a laundry list of other ailments.
The dementia is getting bad, and it’s getting harder and harder to care for him.
Oh, and Medicaid doesn’t pay for everything.
Getting older and ill just sucks ass.”
The cost was $12,000 a month.
“I am dealing with this right now!
In doing so, the monthly expenses went from $3,000 to $12,000.
She gets about a quarter of the space for four times the cost.
The real kicker is that she and my granddaddidplan.”
“My mother lived well on her own until dementia took that independence away from her.
I had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s several years earlier and had lost my ability to drive safely.
We decided on an assisted living facility that was ‘only’ about $4,500 a month.
We spent down all of my mother’s savings until she was eligible for Medicaid.
My mother’s dementia continued to get worse; she died shortly before her 95th birthday.”
Despite our best efforts, our bodies age, and we die.
Our healthcare system is broken.
Patient care will continue to deteriorate if we continue to support a model that puts corporations over people."
Diane, 72, Washington
15.
“Our person was admitted to a hospital after a fall.
The hospital released him to a rehab facility, and he was there for nine days.
On the fifth day, he developed a cough.
The staff said he was fine, but it turned out that he had COVID-19.
Mind you, our person was 85 years old, and no one told us that he was positive.
Even at the facility, no one was wearing masks.
I said, ‘He has COVID?
No one told us.’
And the staff member said, ‘Well, we are not required to tell everyone.’
Our elders have no voice.
Good luck with your loved ones.”
“At 90, my mom was the care provider for my dad, who was 92.
Once it was determined that he was no longer making progress, services were discontinued.
At that rate, my mom’s savings were going to be depleted in six months.
She didn’t have money, and she couldn’t say where she lived.
Eventually, she was found and returned to the facility.
She was then placed on a lockdown floor.
After the money was gone, she went to a Medicaid facility until her death.
This was the saddest time of my life.
I did the best I could.”
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
