That really reframed things for me."
When two people have sex for the first time, things can get really awkward.
Do you just give up, or do you work to turn your sex life around?
Here are some of the best replies, starting with the success stories:
1.
“My husband of 24 years was absolutely the worst sex ever at first.
He was so nervous that he started to sweat a lot it was pouring off his head.
I had to stop him and let him know I was not going to orgasm.
He said he wasnt close either, so we stopped.
We laughed and talked.
When we tried again, I liked him enough to keep trying.
After the third time, we saw stars.
After that, it was truly the best sex I ever had.”
“When my husband and I first started having sex, it was not great.
We realized it was a confidence problem on his end (I was more sexually experienced than him).
jamanthameg
3.
“We met after a show I was playing, and things went pretty quick.
When it came time to ahem rise up, there was no rise.
Ive never been a hookup guy because of this problem.
Of course it was embarrassing, and my whole musician mystique died.
But then she started dancing weirdly and asked ‘does this make you horny baby?’
That helped me get comfortable, and we’ve been together for five years.”
“Things first got hot and heavy between us on a vacation we took together.
It had been a while for both of us, I bled on him, and he finished quickly.
We liked each other enough to keep communicating and going at it.
Anonymous
5.
He had been single for about five years prior, and he was just so nervous.
There were definitely feelings of inadequacy from both sides that first attempt.
Thankfully, we communicated and had no problems the second time!”
We also just gave it time.
I adored him, so it was a no brainer to work on this aspect of our relationship.
It was definitely worth it.”
mewsaidicup
7.
“I had literally been in love with this woman since fifth grade, but we stayed just friends.
Obviously, I said yes.
But while it was exciting, it was not the kind of sex I enjoyed and lacked any intimacy.
We worked on it for some time, and it definitely got better.
“I went out with a guy Id been crushing on for a few months.
The date was great…until we went back to his place.
I liked him so much and wanted to continue seeing him, but I didnt address the issue immediately.
Sex went much better on our second date nothing great, but not terrible.
I coached him a bit on what I like, and he picked it up VERY fast.
That really reframed things for me.”
Sex with my now-boyfriend (yay!)
is great, and Im so happy I stuck things out.”
“I met a guy on a dating app who was lovely to talk to.
Unfortunately he finished VERY quickly every time we had sex.
), but nothing worked.
We just did other sexual acts like oral, which was still fun!”
“We got married despite the sex because sex isnt everything.
We’re still married and have a baby, so it was totally worth it!”
“The sex was great for me, and she asked me to help her finish using my fingers.
I kept at it until my forearm cramped after 30 minutes.
She then got herself there in three minutes.
It kept going this way for about a month, and it was a huge blow to my ego.
Finally, I checked my pride and started asking her for directions, which she happily provided.
I made it my mission to get to know her body better than anyone else, including her.
Now I can get her off in just a few minutes.
Awesome sex takes practice.”
People need to remember that nerves are a good sign.
galeforcewinds22
Unfortunately, sometimes a sexual experience is just too bad to salvage:
13.
“We went on five dates before things got intimate.
I was super into his personality, but we were NOT a physical match.
“I slept with a sweet angel guy years ago.
I was in a very dark spot mentally and sexually, and our sex was so, so bad.
We talked all night and checked in with each other, and it was lovely.
“Mike, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re doing well being a wildlife firefighter!
Thank you for being a sweet and caring presence during a really dark time!”
melriley529
15.
“There was one person where having sex totally killed the attraction for me.
It wasn’t bad on a technical level, but there was just no chemistry at all.
It felt like trying to sleep with a family member.
We had to break things off after that.”
“I was dating someone online for six months.
The day we were going to meet, I got my period.
All the built up sexual tension vanished, and I was just super embarrassed and sad.
We’re still friendly, but I cant imagine ever trying anything sexual with him again.
It was honestly very disappointing.”
“After a night of drinking, we went back to her place and started making out.
Then we started to have sex and I felt something hard.
She came back without an explanation.
Then she high fived me.”
“We never got together after that, so there wasn’t a chance for us to improve together.
But Im married now, and its a lot less weird with my spouse.
My main takeaway is that people are weird.
Some responses edited for length and clarity.
