“Your first love feels like the last, and your last love feels like the first.”
Folks took to the thread to share the hard-hitting life lessons they learned thanks to their first love.
Some were uplifting and inspiring, while others were harsher truths.
Regardless, all were incredibly useful for people navigating romantic relationships.
Here’s what was shared:
1.
“you could do everything ‘right,’ and they might still cheat on you.
you’ve got the option to be the perfect partner.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Controlling behavior isn’t healthy.
It made me a better person and honestly lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.”
u/Main-Yogurtcloset-82
2.
Honestly, being a good boyfriend/girlfriend is a valuable skill that should be developed."
u/Bames_Jond_69
3.
“Don’t lower your standards or tolerate awful behavior just because you’re horny/lonely.”
u/Daelude
“To add onto this: Don’t take excuses for poor behavior.
In that case, nothing will ever change, and you will not get the attention you want/need.
At the end of the day, if you allow it to continue, it will continue.”
u/kitofu926
4.
It eventually leads to resentment, and that’s the absolute worst."
u/Badger804
5.
“you’ve got the option to like the person, and they can like you back.
You might even be in love.
It doesn’t mean things will work out or you’ll end up together.”
u/clap_yo_hands
6.
“I learned you’re gonna wanna discuss and resolve your deal breakers.
Drug and alcohol use.
Where and how you want to live.
Anything that will break you up if you feel opposite ways.
For me, it was that I didn’t want children, and he did.
We both thought the other would change, and we were wrong.
We could have saved ourselves a lot of time and heartbreak by resolving it immediately.”
u/flutterby228
7. u/cantaketheskyfrome
8.
“Your first love feels like the last, and your last love feels like the first.”
u/TheOriginalChode
9.
“Never having any disagreement isn’t as good as it sounds.
u/ImmigrationJourney2
“I’ve been in multiple relationships that have lasted at least a year.
I felt closer to her in half a year than my next best partner in three years.
u/IcyPlatypusTP
10.
“I learned that it isn’t worth staying if you cant be your authentic self.
Youre only denying yourself true happiness.
And that doesnt come from the person youre with.
It comes from being who you truly are.”
u/smershlee
11.
“What they DO is more important than what they SAY theyll do.”
u/annalissebelle
12. u/Cbjmac
13.
“That beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
His eyes only looked at me.”
u/blue_butterfly_1997
“My wife is sometimes self-conscious of her looks.
I say, ‘Well, you’re not your key in, but you are mine.’
The other one I’ll jokingly throw at her is: ‘That’s my wife you’re talking about.
I don’t take kindly to people speaking ill of her.'”
u/Kahnspiracy
14.“Gratitude.
She was a keeper.
I was a fool.
I still am, too.”
u/vongolezio
15.
“Letting go is an act of love too.”
u/rohit_raveendran
16.
“Breakups hurt a lot, even if the person is 100% not meant for you.
In other words, the pain doesn’t equal a mistake.”
u/Important-Insect2301
17.
“I needed someone to challenge me.
Letting me have my way and agreeing with me all the time is exceptionally boring.
Call me out, say no, have an opinion, and be independent.”
u/Ultimatelee
18. u/KayMay03
19.
I wasn’t attentive enough in the relationship and didn’t give my partner the respect they deserved.
I can only hope I’ll do better next time.”
u/Running_Is_Life
20.
“Always have a life outside your relationship.
u/Chubby_yummy
21.
“I learned that communication is EVERYTHING.
You cant just assume your partner knows what you’re thinking or feeling.
Sometimes, its also okay to put yourself first.
Self-care isnt selfish.”
u/catyhoneyx
22.
“Learn to be comfortably silent with one another.”
u/Destroyer6202
23.
“When they show you who they are, believe them.
Don’t make yourself out to be conveniently available just because you like someone superficially.”
u/AdmAckbarCereal
24.
“Sometimes two good people can do bad things because they aren’t good for each other.”
u/ChapGod
25.
“You CANNOT change someone to suit your preferences.
If you do not like a person’s core, you should not be with them.”
u/Hashashin455
26.
“Pay attention and listen.
Have boundaries so you don’t get injured to a degree that you don’t recognize yourself.
Don’t act on thoughts; instead, only act on what actually happened.”
u/tinkafoo
27.
“Honesty, communication, and self-realization!
u/External-Marsupial13
28.
“If you do not have the same goals, you will never reach them.
One person’s goals will overtake another’s and vice versa.
You end up living your life as a never-ending game of tug-of-war.
Eventually, you both become tired and give up on your goals or each other.
Either way, you become a broken person.”
u/BONEzone1432
29.
“Be transparent and forthcoming in your expectations, on both the giving and receiving ends.”
u/poekrel
30.
That can lead to growing apart, even if there’s still love there.”
u/tellatheterror
31.And: “Relationships shouldn’t be all-consuming.
My whole life was my first relationship, and it bit me in the butt.
It felt like the world was ending when that relationship ended.
That’s not healthy.
A relationship is a two-way street.
You should improve each other.
You shouldn’t rely solely on each other for happiness, though.
Your day does not need to revolve around them completely 100% of the time.
My personality changed with that person.
My interests changed when I was with that person.
That’s exhausting, and I can’t get those pieces of my old self back.
It’s taken a long time to find myself again.”
u/ericaferrica
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
