“‘You’re too pretty to be acting like that.’
Here are 39 more toxic parenting habits people will not pass on to their kids.
You’ll see.'
- Made fun of my daughter’s weight…I could keep going.”
citizenjane24
2.
So dismissive and not good parenting."
altenbas
3.
I was 10 when they split."
weatherboy
“As an adult, this is so hard to explain to my parents.
Yet, I’m supposed to think to call you regularly?
To feel like shit?”
areyoukidding
4.
I don’t know if it’s her Catholic upbringing or what, but it sucked.
I will try very hard not to do that with my kids."
bluerose2384
5.
I will not threaten.
AXJ66
7.
They never had anything positive to say about me, just complaints.
Since going no contact, I haven’t had anyone mock me at all or show affection by insult.
Freedom I love it."
8.Similarly…“My mom still complains that I’m ‘too sensitive.’
For some reason, it’s upsetting to me when she’s emotionally abusive.
It’s terrible, and it’ll fuck you up for life.
because it has to be REALLY bad for me to actually respond.
It’s something I’m constantly working on in therapy and probably always will be.
(It also helped me walk directly into an incredibly abusive relationship at a young age.)”
promising.young.woman
9.
“My mom NEVER provided any real emotional support, and my dad barely even talked to me.
The default reaction to my being upset was laughter; when I was happy, I was annoying her.
When I lost weight, she had a meltdown.
ceeweeweewee
10.
“Not believing your children when they tell you a family member has hurt you.
The whole ‘sweep it under the rug’ and ‘blood is thicker than water’ BS.”
We think the same thing may have happened to my grandmother.
Fortunately, my mom believed me.
This shit has got to stop!”
MargeGunderson
11.
It gave me a lifelong fear of speaking out or trusting people that actually ruined relationships and friendships.
Thanks, Mum and Dad!"
themaninthecave
12.
Even if it doesnt conform to gender stereotypes."
I was a tomboy, and my mom and grandma supported my love ofScooby Dooand dirt and worm colonies.
My son (hes 5) likes it when I paint his nails.
He sees me do mine and loves it when I do his, too.
The first time his dad and I got into a big fight over it.
His dad came around, and it definitely stemmed from the rigid, traditional way he was raised.
But I have never and will never gender things like that."
aka_rory
13.
I wasn’t allowed to go on a date until age 16.
I would actually trust my child and never, ever tank their social life."
I wasnt allowed to have friends, couldnt even be caught talking to anyone.
I had a strict 3:30 p.m. curfew.
mickie98
14.
“Not keeping promises you keep with your children, especially those on the spectrum… My part of the agreement was to finish school and show them diplomas.
I did my part, even though I damn near burned out.
What did they come back to me with?
‘Oh, well how’s the trip going to be paid for?
Where’s the money going to come from?
You want the trip, you pay for it.
We only said this to motivate you…’ WHAT.
And you ask me why I’m so unsure about you lot?!
I DID MY PART!”
jayjjimenez
15.
“Forcing you to hug and kiss relatives.
… ‘Go hug your tia!’
Or ‘Your cousin hasn’t seen you since you were a baby!
Go say hello!’
which, of course, includes a big hug.
I hated even to touch a dead person, let alone kiss them.
I always refused and held out until they forced me to.”
kathleenaw
16.
“Forcing your kids to do things that they don’t want to do.
Physical touch is one definitely, but also activities and such.
cinderellie
“Ugh, this.
That part of my childhood was so miserable.”
“My parents would force me to do sports, but I never knew the reason.
My mom asked me once, ‘Wanna play soccer this season?’
I said no, and she got mad and said she’d talk to my dad about it.
Idk if they even talked, but they signed me up anyways.
They wouldn’t let me skip practices, even if I felt sick.
And then if I ever complained or said, ‘Can I skip this one?
How dare you?!
Blah blah blah.’
I didn’t even want to do this!
He wanted me to be a prodigy.
But he insisted that I paint all through my teens and early 20s.
And Ill be disappointed in myself.”
galoux
18.
“Denying your kids from engaging in activities on ‘religious’ grounds.
I could not playPokemoncards or watch the cartoons.
Being forbidden from these really popular things really isolated me from my peers.
And as a result, I had a hard time bonding with others and making friends.
When I wasn’t studying for school, I had to study bible shit.
I was encouraged to literally tell kids at school about ‘The Truth’ to get them to convert.
It was heartbreaking.”
“My mother complained about me eating snacks outside of mealtime all the time.
She also didn’t feed us very nutritious foods.
… Parents need to stop projecting on to their kids.”
I distinctly remember being in first grade and weighing 60 lbs.
It also led to untreated eating disorders all throughout my teens.
baroquemama0226
20.
All of it conditioned me to not understand my bodys hunger cues.
Either to not trust my body when it said it was full or create disordered and guilty eating habits.
carlieahern
21.
My mom would tell me to stop eating in front of others, saying I ate enough.
When I was seven and quit gymnastics, she told me I was getting my belly back.
I started bingeing at 10.
I have worked so hard not to say anything negative about myself in front of my daughter.
She is five and has amazing self-worth.
Mean girls start really early.”
vizslaowner2
22.
Also, sometimes we were fucking hungry and should have been able to eat."
lulupanda57
23. stellapsycho22
24.
“My family never talked about anything uncomfortable.
I never got the sex talk, just ‘God doesnt like it so dont do it.’
How does it work?
What happens if Im in xyz situation?
Even if it was joking, it stuck.
Ive never been able to tell my parents who I had a crush on.”
I couldnt ask about intimacy or get any relationship advice.
I wish I had that kind of relationship with my mom."
cmjd77
25.
We never talked about sex.
It’s why I’m not very sexually open and find most things ‘weird.'"
wildflowernj
26.
“I grew up in a ‘show no feelings and then explode and scream’ household.
It took me until I was in my 30s to really learn proper emotional regulation.
“My father has also never in my memory told me he is proud of me or loves me.
applesaucey
27.
This was told to me by a lot of adults when I was growing up.
I will never do that to my two wonderful sons whom I love very much.
Watch what you say to kids, man.
colindowner1984
28.
I don’t mean important, necessary conversations about health, bodily functions, consent, sexuality, etc.
“Maybe my extended family was just weird, but they told each other EVERYTHING.
It all stems from that shame and embarrassment as a child.
absepa
29.
“Choosing your partner over your child is a big one for my childhood.
My ex-stepdad used to emotionally and mentally abuse me day in, day out.
My bedroom wasn’t my bedroom, it was my ‘room to use.’
It’s a lot to undo.”
We were 16 and 14, respectively, and my mom went along with it.
jenm47faa724d
30.
“My parents are wonderful, but like all parents, they made mistakes.
One that really ground my gears was comparing me to their friends’ kids.
Am I supposed to be sorry I’m not like Billy?”
misterfrooby
31.
“My parents didn’t discuss things like politics or current events with us, not ever.
We have dinner table discussions about what’s going on in the world.
skiinggnat
32.
“I would never belittle my child for their chosen profession.
I was almost spat at when I said I wanted to be a teacher.
I felt so crushed and hated I went to law school.
That didnt happen, and long story short, I ended up being a teacher anyway.
It just took longer.
I am good at what I do and have been doing it for 26 years.”
I do what I can to talk to and support them in being themselves.
But my husband and I will NOT do this to our son.”
mccallakathryn
33.
“I have children and was successful in changing a pattern.
My mom could NEVER admit that she was wrong and would be furious if a mistake was pointed out.
My husband and I will admit when we are wrong.
We also got teased or shamed if we didnt know how to do something.
Never had to take accountability.”
scottm1
34.
“Having a certain idea of who you want your kids to be and forcing it on them.
As a result, they would blow up every time I didnt know something or made mistakes.
They also put this pressure on me to always have straight As and to be a prestigious doctor.
allthatglittersisdiamonds
35.
“I will not minimize my kids’emotions.
I grew up with parents who blew off any negative feelings I had.
maggiem45481cd39
36.
“I think for me, the biggest one is that my feelings didn’t matter.
I was never apologized to for anything, minor or major.
My parents would admit no wrongdoing.
Also, I was never taught (it was never modeled for me) appropriate emotional regulation skills.
It took a lot of therapy to learn.”
jessica
37.
It was especially annoying because I was a child actor so I paid most of the bills growing up.
c’mon, Im the only reason we had a roof over our heads and food!”
I had pretty much raised myself so I was able to function.”
travelcat147
38.
“I was adopted.
Once she had my brother, I became a burden.
She would say, ‘I’ve always loved you like you were my own.’
She would constantly tell me I wasn’t pretty or smart.
I grew up believing her.
that I realized it was just another form of abuse.
I am always telling my kids how proud I am of them because they make me proud!
I don’t criticize.
We have a discussion, not a lecture or criticism.
I’m only here to support, respect, and love them.”
I was mocked over every single thing I loved.
Music, movies, writing, didn’t matter what.”
Now, they don’t hear anything about my life, good or bad.”
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
