“The journey to parenthood is so, so complex.
I just hope anyone and everyone else on the journey knows that they’re not traveling alone.
They’re worth getting the support and love that they want.”
Trigger warning: This post discusses pregnancy loss and miscarriage and may be triggering for some readers.
I’m 31 years old, and I recently had my first baby.
As you might expect, trying to conceive is a hot topic among my friends and acquaintances.
Some women I know have gotten pregnant right away, but many couples have struggled with fertility.
So I asked theBuzzFeed Communityto tell me about their experiencestrying to conceive.
This discussion is here if you find it helpful.
“My husband and I tried to conceive over a four-year period.
After a year of no success, we decided to seek help through a private clinic.
Over the course of two years, I underwent numerous ovulation-induction cycles followed by an IUI procedure.
The IUI was successful, but we sadly lost the baby after eight weeks.
We were then referred to a public clinic where we started our IVF journey.”
“I’m a single woman trying to conceive.
Ive been resolute about being a parent with or without a partner for a long time.
I have been trying since 2019.
I got pregnant on my first try but unfortunately went through a loss at 11 weeks.
It was physically and emotionally traumatic and took me years to heal from.
Two years later in 2021, I had a second loss at six weeks.
Aside from that, Ive also been through several failed cycles.
I decided to go straight to IVF.
CursEtEtoiles
3.
“We officially started trying in spring 2018 when I had my implant taken out.
I started using an app to track my cycle and concentrate on the right times to try.
We got pregnant in early spring 2019.
We tried for number two in summer 2021.
By January 2022 we were pregnant and had an early scan at eight weeks showing a healthy baby.
We booked a vacation, but I miscarried at 12 weeks while away…”
4.
“My husband and I have been trying to conceive for nearly two years with no success.
I’m now on a waiting list for publicly funded IVF (which I feel so lucky to have!
‘; or ‘are you sure you even want kids?’
I know my husband and I would ultimately still be able to have a rich, fulfilling life.
Anonymous
5.
“My husband and I have a toddler and are hoping to have a second baby.
We got pregnant quickly with our first, but this time around has been more challenging.
It took me a few months to get pregnant, and I ended up having a miscarriage.
I never thought this would happen to me, even though logically I know its very common.
We are trying again but have so far been unsuccessful.
“My period has always been irregular (like 4080 days between cycles).
I told doctors, but they didn’t seem to care or think it was a big deal.
After six months, I asked for a referral and saw a doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS.
He recommended I take a supplement called Inositol to help regulate my periods.
My partner and I had a baby in March of 2022 and are now expecting our second.
I wish every couple baby dust who is on this journey.”
“After trying to conceive for a year unsuccessfully, we went to a fertility clinic to undergo testing.
Trying for over a year and being disappointed every month took a mental toll.
On top of that, I knew many women who were getting pregnant right away or even without trying.
Turns out I have PCOS.
I never knew I had a condition that would impact my fertility.
I likely could never pregnant unassisted.
I feel fortunate that IUI worked for me and I have had two successful pregnancies now.
I had several tests afterwards which showed that I had lean PCOS.
I am moving onto Letrazole next and then IVF if we still have no luck.
I’m starting to think it will never happen.”
classiquec
9.
“Our journey to parenthood has been so so hard.
My husband and I started trying to start a family two years ago.
I got pregnant quickly, and we were over the moon.
At our 12-week appointment, we found out that we’d lost the baby.
We were devastated but determined not to give up.
The following pregnancy ended the same way.
I had methotrexate to remove it, luckily saving my tube.
We conceived again straight away, but I miscarried at 10 weeks…”
11.
“I was diagnosed with PCOS about five years ago.
We were told we don’t quality for help from the fertility clinic because of my weight.
I am about five kg too heavy.
But here’s the kicker: I’ve alway struggled with my weight due to the PCOS.
I’ve tried just about every diet there is.
And it all comes back to the PCOS.”
“We decided to start trying in summer of 2018 and had my IUD removed.
Within two cycles I was pregnant.
I suspected it early on but didnt actually get a positive home test until what was the seven-week mark.
Unfortunately, I miscarried by the end of the week.
Our first IUI cycle with medications failed, but our next cycle took.
I ended up on short-term disability/furlough until mid-May.
I was taking daily injections for the clotting disorder, and then I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
We started to try for our second this past year.
While I got pregnant that same month, unfortunately I miscarried again twice.”
bluewildcat12
13.
“We tried for four years without any luck.
I had been diagnosed with endometriosis and got a laparoscopy, but still did not get pregnant.
After COVID calmed down at the end of 2021, we were able to start with medical intervention.
We tried two rounds of IUI which were unsuccessful.
Finally, on our first round of IVF, we got pregnant.
Our beautiful baby girl was born in 2023 and is turning 1 in a couple of weeks.”
“My husband and I tried to conceive for nearly three years without success when I was 33.
I started basic fertility treatment due to irregular periods but didn’t find anything unusual.
Ultimately, we discovered that I had a slightly-below-average egg count, but otherwise, everything was seemingly normal.
We tried Letrozole for six months to induce ovulation and then moved on to IVF.
For financial reasons we just decided to do the one cycle.
The IVF didn’t work, and we decided it just wasn’t meant to be.
We have moved on now and are now focusing on a life without children.”
“My partner and I started trying in early 2021.
We tried conceiving for months, but it wasn’t working.
An OBGYN found I had a polyp that might be preventing me from getting pregnant.
I got surgery to have it removed along with a fibroid that they also found.
The medication, Letrozole, can cause menopause-like symptoms as a side effect, which was not very fun.
But my HCG levels were going down, which is consistent with pregnancy loss.
Surgery had complications, and I ended up losing a fallopian tube.
At the time, I was so grateful to be alive that I didnt really process my loss.
But as months went by, the grief would sneak in every once in a while.
Someone close to me lost a baby, and it made me process my own loss.
I would have been due in March.
Were still trying.”
amlysl
16.
“My partner and I have been trying for over two years.
It’s been an absolute nightmare.
The journey hasnt even started properly yet, and Im already exhausted.
I feel very lucky for the NHS, though.”
“We were able to conceive easily, yet our journey lasted five years.
Sadly all eight of our pregnancies ended in loss.
“My partner and I have been together for 10 years and never got pregnant.
I was diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis and was finally referred to a fertility doctor in early 2023.
We are now pregnant with a girl and due in spring 2024.
Pregnancy has been extremely rough on my body.
I was sick and could barely eat until week 20.
The whole process has been so hard, but I wouldnt change it for the world.
“My husband and I started trying at 23.
My levels were almost nonexistent, so my doctor recommended Clomid to help me ovulate.
Despite upping the doses, I was never able to ovulate.
Finally, I found a new fertility doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS.
After more failed Clomid cycles, I started acupuncture.
After six months I had regular length cycles, and after a year I finally got pregnant.
I was 28 by the time I finally had my son.
And when I tried for my second, I went on to have another miscarriage during the first trimester.
I eventually had a daughter, followed by a totally shocking pregnancy with my third child, a son.
Infertility was the hardest thing I have gone through.
I lost friends and so much of myself while going through it.
It was very isolating.”
“My partner and I have been trying for about four years now.
We had one positive test followed by bleeding a week later.
That one positive test was either a fluke or just one very determined sperm…”
21.
“My partner and I have been together since we were 16.
We are now 37 and never wanted kids.
Last year we both flipped the script and decided to give it a try.
I got fertility tested, and the results were not good.
Still, I got pregnant the very first month.
We’re both now quite shell shocked.”
haleybeatson
22.
“Ive been trying to conceive for almost three years.
I was told at a younger age that it might be tough.
I had irregular periods, terrible cramps, and bursting cysts growing up, which carried into adulthood.
When I was 33, I was given an infertility diagnosis by my OBGYN.
And with the price, IVF is out of our reach financially.
We discussed adoption amongst other things.
Each month that passes is tough, but I do my best to remain hopeful.”
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